To be sick of DP's poo crumbs?

[nomorecrumbs]

My DP is very hairy. He leaves poo crumbs and hair on the seat every day and I'm sick of wiping it. This is way worse than the seat-up-or-down debate. I finally snapped after a year and told him he must start using wet wipes to avoid the poo crumb issue. I feel like I'm looking after a 2 year old in this regard.

It's been particularly bad in bed this summer as he sleeps naked so the crumbs go EVERYWHERE.

He says I have no right to interfere in his toilet routine and I say I'm not sexing someone who can't keep their poo crumbs under control.

His family are full of boys and he says the poo crumbs thing is normal and that I'm overreacting. AIBU?

I feel I'll.
I thought this was what Andrex Washlets flushable toilet tissue wipes, were for.
Wish I hadn't opened this thread.

I feel ILL.

I made the mistake of showing this thread to my (thankfully poo crumb free) DH last night and I think you broke him.

He's been wandering around muttering all morning:

'Poo crumbs. ..unbelievable. ..I don't know. ..poo cumbs ...just vile...'

It's like he lost a little bit of his innocence.

This is beyond foul. I can't even cope with the thought!

If there was so much as a notion of a poo crumb in this house I would crack up. There is no excuse for this at all.

As for fanny dandruff...I have no words.

Wet wipes, or to wipe his ass properly.

Well I have properly examined the sheets after hairy dp slept naked last night and I am happy to report that I found no evidence of poo crumbs. Phew!

I'm having a shit day - came on here to cheer me up.

This is the best thing I've read in weeks. I love you!

How about a simple bidet?

Should we have a whip-round to send BigW's husband for some therapy? I am feeling guilty that we have broken him.

Also, I have heard of sootikins before, so even if I didn't think everything on MN was gospel, I'd believe that!

Anyone else eyeing their bathroom floor suspiciously this morning?

That is absolutely disgusting. I have never heard of anyone doing that before. The very least he should be doing is checking the toilet after himself. I would also say separate beds until he does something about it. Might just spur him in to action. BTW another name for poo crumbs is winnets. Anyone ever heard of that?

GET HIM A NAPPY!!!!!!!

This is possibly the funniest, most nauseating thread I've ever read on MN. Don't even care that it's probably a spoof. Must go into classics!

I wonder if it happens because he just doesn't wash his bum properly.

Whenever you see men washing in ads etc, they only seem to wash their chests and pits.

OP, I have noticed fluff from dP's boxers on the loo seat before. Could it just be fluff from pants. You know, bobbly bits that have been stuck to him when he undresses and then fall off.

I can't believe I'm asking this, but how do you know it's actually poo crumbs?

That's a question I never would have imagined asking before?

Yeah winnets I believe is the correct terminology. My friends uncle used to say, as his standard greeting 'alright mate, how's your washer for winnets?'

With such filthy habits, can you be sure he even washes his hands after wiping himself?

The only solution has to be to wash at night before bed.

Oh no! I've just remembered when bil came to stay one night. He didn't wash before he went to sleep in the spare room. He left the next day, and when I went o change the sheets there were some brown stains sort of where he would have sat when he got in or out of bed iykwim. I remember feeling Icked out but convinced myself it must have been from his overnight bag. We still have that sheet and it's on DS's bed. Right that's it. I'm going to order new sheets for his bed NOW!

I think I'd wanna be single again if I were you!

Poo crumbs? For the love of Christ this is outrageous!!

This better get included on the MN talk roundup email thingy.

I was just about to have a chocolate chip cookie with my coffee. I don't want it anymore.

Bidet ?

This is gross. Dump him.

Somewhere along the Darwinian line, his family would have disappeared due to e.coli poisoning.

Oh poo troll oh poo troll
your posts are so droll
oh poo troll oh poo troll
you need more loo roll

oh poo troll oh poo troll
wash you hands well
oh poo troll oh poo troll
you really do smell

oh poo troll oh poo troll
you love to talk about bums
oh poo troll oh poo troll
even tiny poo crumbs

oh poo troll oh poo troll
off you should go
oh poo troll oh poo troll
along in some sani-flo

tears pouring down. please let this be real, even if it's not it's without doubt one of the funniest threads I've ever read on here