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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To be thinking of going round and slapping this mother if the police don't hurry up and get here?

169 replies

ArghFFS · 31/07/2013 17:46

My neighbour is physically and verbally abusing her daughter, and i mean really badly.

I've just listened to her screaming at the poor kid in the garden and telling her 'you're a useless cunt just like your fucking father, that's why he left you' then there was a massive thwack noise and i looked out the window in time to see her dragging the child in by the hair, there's what looks like blood on the patio, when they got indoors the mother carried on screaming at the child and there have been a few thumping noises followed by screams. I've called the police but they aren't here yet and the child is still crying, it's heart breaking.

Poor kid is only 2! She can't have done anything so terrible as to deserve that!

OP posts:
KirjavaTheCat · 31/07/2013 18:41

Glad the police have been involved. That sounds horrific.

Is it the first time you've heard or suspected anything OP?

MNHQ
OliviaIsOffTheGinMumsnet · 31/07/2013 18:41

Ahem

SuperiorCat · 31/07/2013 18:44

Well done for calling the police and intervening OP

BenedictCumberbitch · 31/07/2013 18:44

Unfortunately it's not as uncommon as people think Sad

My mum is a SW and has only been qualified a few years...and yet she's seen more than one of these sort of cases.

They only make the media if they're someone officials 'fault' though (i.e if it's through negligence of the SW or other professionals).

You did the right thing and I hope a very close eye is kept on the poor kid...and hopefully she can be found some temporary care.

Tee2072 · 31/07/2013 18:50

::offers Olivia a cough sweet, since she can't have gin::

Tee2072 · 31/07/2013 18:51

Darn it...

Original poster
ArghFFS · 31/07/2013 18:53

Kirjava, I've heard the mother shout occasionally but it's always been 'pack it in' sort of shout rather than anything that worried me and lots of parents shout from time to time

OP posts:
YouStayClassySanDiego · 31/07/2013 18:53

Becks Blue seems to be the choice of non alcoholic drinks when up the duff Olivia Wink.

Try it and report back.

Original poster
ArghFFS · 31/07/2013 18:58

TallGiraffe, Thanks for the flowers, dh is here but is putting dc to bed at the moment. I'm ok, more angry than shaken up at the moment.

OP posts:
corlan · 31/07/2013 19:04

Good work Argh. It takes a village to raise a child and all that.

Capitola · 31/07/2013 19:07

Good for you OP. I hope she is taken away from her mother now.

I was just reading about the tragic case of Daniel Pelka where so many people didn't intervene sufficiently.

FutTheShuckUp · 31/07/2013 19:11

Good for you. It can be so hard to stand up to someone who is abusive as they thrive on power and control, you may well have saved that child's life

TallGiraffe · 31/07/2013 19:13

Glad your DH is there, you will probably have an adrenaline crash later on, so don't be surprised if you go a bit wobbly.

LifeIsSoDifferent · 31/07/2013 19:17

I'm glad the mother has been arrested and I hope she doesn't get near that poor child again!

Well done OP for going round there Wine

cranverry · 31/07/2013 19:19

Good for you OP. That sounds awful, poor, poor little girl.

bumbleymummy · 31/07/2013 19:22

Good for you for stepping in! Hope the little girl is ok. :(

SirBoobAlot · 31/07/2013 19:35

Poor little one. Glad she's been arrested, hope the girl is okay.

Ledkr · 31/07/2013 19:55

The police will have done a PPO the child will be taken either to a suitable family friend or if nobody available emergency foster care. Poor baby. My 2 yr old drives me to despair sometimes but that is way over the top and the family will hopefully get extensive help and support.
I have been involved in too many if these incidents as has dh (sw and copper) well done op for acting and not turning a blind eye as many do.

Goldenbear · 31/07/2013 20:00

Why do people find it incomprehensible that these things are 'true' as someone has already pointed out a 'Mother??' and Stepfather have been convicted of murder today of a four year old boy that was failed by lots of different agents and people. It is the tip of the fucking iceberg!

TweedWasSoLastYear · 31/07/2013 20:13

I think it was a very brave thing to do.
Well done FFS for going round and distracting her till the police arrived.

SingingSands · 31/07/2013 20:20

So sad, poor little girl must have been terrified, confused and ... I just don't have the words... helpless.

You did a good thing today OP. A good thing.

LindyHemming · 31/07/2013 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ArghFFS · 31/07/2013 22:37

Thank you all for the support, I had a little cry earlier as I suddenly realised that here might have been other times when no one heard and the poor little girl was so scared, just hoping that the poor kid doesn't believe all the spiteful things the mother was saying to her and that wherever she does end up they make sure she gets the love and reassurance she needs. :( I know there isn't anything more I can do but it just doesn't feel like I've done enough for her if that makes sense.

OP posts:
Bakingtins · 31/07/2013 22:44

You did the right thing, OP. We all need to be prepared to step in where necessary to prevent any more Daniel's.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer · 31/07/2013 22:47

Good work OP. You have done something at the important moment, that's what you need to remember. I'm glad the mother was arrested as what with today's news I am sceptical about the ability of the system to keep children safe.

Olivia, I can confirm that Becks Blue is an excellent non-alcoholic beer for those who are abstaining.