Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to think well done, Kate, but...

193 replies

bloodynurseries · 30/07/2013 17:03

It's great she had a drug free birth.

But I've seen a few posts today implying that those of us who didn't manage a drug free birth or a 'drugged birth' as one person said somewhere else, are lesser mothers? It just seems like it's yet another stick for mothers to beat each other with.

OP posts:
ImNotBloody14 · 30/07/2013 17:28

I think anyone who worries or thinks less of themselves for what type if birth they had should stop torturing themselves with feelings of insecurity.

I think anyone who worries or thinks less of others for what type of birth they had should stop torturing themselves with feelings of insecurity Wink

kungfupannda · 30/07/2013 17:29

Maybe they just mean illegal drugs...

LilacPeony · 30/07/2013 17:30

Grin kungfu

opilo · 30/07/2013 17:30

Why did you care either way?

Fakebook · 30/07/2013 17:32

Does it matter how a baby comes into the world? As long as both mother and baby are healthy it shouldn't matter. If you are secure in yourself and happy with your choices then things like this wouldn't offend you.

I had an epidural with dd and gas and air on and off with DS.

janey68 · 30/07/2013 17:33

Well who knows what the truth is, but if she DID have a natural birth then I think it's daft that anyone thinks celebrating that somehow denigrates anyone else. Having a drug free first baby - big one too!- is no mean feat, just because she had lots of midwives doesn't mean it doesn't bloody hurt. It's a shame that women who have natural births are sometimes just dismissed as 'lucky' or having had it easy .... Hahahahahaha ( remembers natural first birth - aaargh)
And for all we know she may have told William to eff off and grunted and farted like a good 'un !

everlong · 30/07/2013 17:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoleSource · 30/07/2013 17:35

Why well done?

nancerama · 30/07/2013 17:41

Having a tooth out without pain relief = madness.

Pushing a baby out without pain relief = being held up as the perfect mother.

Bet that wouldn't be the case if men could have babies.

Twirlyhot · 30/07/2013 17:43

I don't get the concept that drug free birth is the ideal.

Drugs are good. They stop pain. I don't like pain. I do like drugs. And they're legal and free too.

MalcolmTuckersMum · 30/07/2013 17:45

I don't understand what you're beating yourself up about. Are you some kind of weird masochist? Two things to remember - 1. Nobody can make you feel shit about your choices or outcomes unless you allow them to and 2. There is NOTHING wrong with making use of all available facilities (drugs / whatever) when you need them. You wouldn't have an appendectomy without pain relief would you? No.
I think you should stop indulging yourself in your guilt trip to be honest. And quite what the fuck Kate has to do with any of this is a mystery to me.

Original poster
bloodynurseries · 30/07/2013 17:45

Oh I guess it was mainly a page I 'like' on FB which is all about natural parenting, there was a 400 long post on it today with mums writing things like 'go Kate, all natural here, no drugged birth for me' and 'I gave my baby the best, chemical free, start in life without drugs' and I KNOW I shouldn't care! But I suppose it just got to me a bit.
I have had 1 really good birth where I didn't have drugs (not actually through choice) and it went really quickly and I felt great afterwards so I am genuinely glad for Kate if she did have a natural birth, I just hate the way it is sometimes seen as a measure of how good a mother you are, up there with BFing, working/not working, etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
bloodynurseries · 30/07/2013 17:47

Yeah ok Malcolm Tucker, I'm not 'indulging myself'. I just started this as I wanted to feel like I wasn't the only mum who was screaming for drugs!

OP posts:
Poppy4453 · 30/07/2013 17:47

Who cares, healthy baby and mother is all that matters.

SingingSands · 30/07/2013 17:48

I had a drug free birth with DS, I certainly didn't feel superior to any other woman giving birth that day and I got the same prize as everyone else - a baby.

I had lots of drugs with DD. Still the same prize.

You can choose to feel superior or inferior, I chose neither because I don't care for creating competition where there is none.

ImNotBloody14 · 30/07/2013 17:48

Well really, what can you expect from a site called natural parenting? Do you like feeling shit about yourself or something? Confused

ProphetOfDoom · 30/07/2013 17:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cannotfuckingbelievethis · 30/07/2013 17:55

I hate this shite. I remember speaking to an older female work colleague about what to expect when pregnant with DS1 and she was like "no, I don't believe in having drugs at the birth, I think childbirth is a pain you should experience."

This thought stayed with me until I was in full blown labour when I would have ripped DH's fucking head off for any kind of drug, illegal or otherwise - and I've been told in the past I have a high pain threshold. Also having to have an emergency C-section makes me the bottom of the pile as someone joked up thread. What exactly would have been a "natural" birth in my case ? To die in childbirth ?

MrsPercyPig · 30/07/2013 17:55

I had a c section and it was the best possible birth experience for me.

I couldn't give a flying saucer how another woman gives birth as long as the baby is healthy!

Why are you allowing this to make you feel inadequate?

JugglingFromHereToThere · 30/07/2013 17:57

Everyone gets through it as best they can - people have different experiences, different bodies, different babies - you can't compare really.

Twattybollocks · 30/07/2013 17:57

See this just annoys me. For most women labour and childbirth is bloody agonisingly painful and the pain just keeps on coming and coming and no one can tell you when it will end. If you want to go natural, then fine, if you want to take every drug they offer you, also fine. If the baby gets stuck and has to come out the sunroof, fine, if you just can't stand the thought of labour and need a scheduled section, that's also fine. These are our bodies, our labours, our babies births and whatever we want to do, however we want to do it, be it in a drug induced semi comatose state, or with Himalayan lullabies mingling with the gentle tinkling of crystals waving in the breeze, or with classical music wafting over the operating table as they rearrange your insides into some semblance of normality, then that is your choice, and its a perfectly good choice. It's at most 2/3 days out of your and your babies lives, as long as everyone is safe and well, then that was the right choice.

noddyholder · 30/07/2013 18:00

If she had had drugs to the eyeballs they would have congratulated her on not having bowed to the pressure of a 'natural' birth If she had had a c section they would have trawled the UK for examples of babies born by c section who are now high court judges and if it had been elective they would have praised her foresight Anything thing does is seen as the ideal it is all royal sycophancy

Hemlet · 30/07/2013 18:00

I'm glad I had an epidural because my little one got stuck and I had a pair of forceps up my flume, I don't give a shiny cockbollock if someone thinks I'm weak for having pain relief. Anyone who does think so is wrong and I dare anyone to tell me otherwise.

enderwoman · 30/07/2013 18:01

Id take the news with a pinch of salt. There's a 50% chance it's the truth and a 50% chance that it's made up.

I've given birth with and without drugs and personally I think nobody really gives a shit. My kids and husband didn't. The only people who care are those with an agenda like the media who can discuss bollocks like "too posh to push" and natural parenting sites who want to sell hypnobirthing classes or whatever.
People with no agenda would tell you that childbirth is like life and you don't really have any control over it. Shit stuff happens to nice people while others sail through it. It's all luck.

noddyholder · 30/07/2013 18:02

anything she does