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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I get a million pounds a week in benefits

185 replies

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 13:49

And a 30 room mansion in the country with a swimming pool.

Not to mention all my 45 children have horses and go to private school by helicopter.

Are you jealous? Eh?

OP posts:
Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 23/07/2013 13:50

Can I have some?

OfficerMeow · 23/07/2013 13:51

Do you have a goat and a 52inch plasma tv? If not, not bovvered

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 13:51

No it's all mine.

Get your own benefits.

OP posts:
CerealMom · 23/07/2013 13:54

Oooo how d'ya manage that?

Crumbledwalnuts · 23/07/2013 13:54

This OP absolutely convinces me that no one ever takes advantage of the welfare system, and that everyone is receipt is deserving, needy and virtuous. By the simple sleight of sarcasm, all inconvenient facts which point to the contrary is swept aside. So far is this from being a low appeal to the absurd, standing in for an evidenced point of view, that I imagine no one will ever again imagine that there are people who believe the system is often unfair.

dawntigga · 23/07/2013 13:55

So where do you keep your goats?

LovesAGoodMentionOfGoatsTiggaxx

kaytola · 23/07/2013 13:55

Pah! Peasant. I get 2 million a week and my own private jet.

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 13:55

It's easy, you just go down the job centre and they give you a wheelbarrow full of money.

OP posts:
CakeExpectations · 23/07/2013 13:55

Can I pop round for a dip in your pool? Preferably while you are out?

[post about a thread within a thread about a thread emoticon]

Crumbledwalnuts · 23/07/2013 13:55

Sadly not true usual: not if you've contributed as I have.

pianodoodle · 23/07/2013 13:56

Just checked the online calculator and my lazy eye entitles me to a free monkey butler :)

YouTheCat · 23/07/2013 13:56

Have you got a shed?

Fairylea · 23/07/2013 13:57

Are you Kate Middleton?

Fairylea · 23/07/2013 13:57

Oh sorry I see you already have 45 dc.

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 13:57

Are you wel jel ,Crumbled.

I spent your taxpayers money on fags.

OP posts:
CerealMom · 23/07/2013 13:58

So I need to buy , actually buy, a wheelbarrow to get 'my' cash.

Is there a benefit so I can get a wheelbarrow?

ANormalOne · 23/07/2013 13:58

Only a million? Clearly if you were an illegal immigrant with over a hundred children you'd easily be raking in £2.5 million a week. It's an OUTRAGE, I tell you.

Itsjustafleshwound · 23/07/2013 13:59

What box do you tick to get your benefits paid in Zim dollars?

Twirlyhot · 23/07/2013 13:59

Do you have a plasma screen goat?

RoxyFox211 · 23/07/2013 13:59

GrinHa ha ha. Creasing. Thanks for sharing Wink

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 13:59

Yes there is a wheelbarrow grant.

OP posts:
Crumbledwalnuts · 23/07/2013 13:59

I'm not jealous - just pleased things are going to change.:) enjoy it while you can - the argument is lost.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 23/07/2013 14:00

I don't pay any tax, so meh.

MammaTJ · 23/07/2013 14:00

Usual have a Biscuit and a Brew and I will have one too Biscuit Brew

We can pull up a chair by your heated pool (it is heated, isn't it?) and you can tell me how I go about it.

pianadoodle do a check for me, I don't just have a lazy eye, I am lazy in my entirety. I must be entitled to more.

Crumbledwalnuts · 23/07/2013 14:01

Chickens - people can be so generous with other people's money. Makes them look good, costs them nothing.

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