I get a million pounds a week in benefits

[usualsuspect]

And a 30 room mansion in the country with a swimming pool.

Not to mention all my 45 children have horses and go to private school by helicopter.

Are you jealous? Eh?

Can I have some?

Do you have a goat and a 52inch plasma tv? If not, not bovvered

No it's all mine.

Get your own benefits.

Oooo how d'ya manage that?

This OP absolutely convinces me that no one ever takes advantage of the welfare system, and that everyone is receipt is deserving, needy and virtuous. By the simple sleight of sarcasm, all inconvenient facts which point to the contrary is swept aside. So far is this from being a low appeal to the absurd, standing in for an evidenced point of view, that I imagine no one will ever again imagine that there are people who believe the system is often unfair.

So where do you keep your goats?

LovesAGoodMentionOfGoatsTiggaxx

Pah! Peasant. I get 2 million a week and my own private jet.

It's easy, you just go down the job centre and they give you a wheelbarrow full of money.

Can I pop round for a dip in your pool? Preferably while you are out?

[post about a thread within a thread about a thread emoticon]

Sadly not true usual: not if you've contributed as I have.

Just checked the online calculator and my lazy eye entitles me to a free monkey butler :)

Have you got a shed?

Are you Kate Middleton?

Oh sorry I see you already have 45 dc.

Are you wel jel ,Crumbled.

I spent your taxpayers money on fags.

So I need to buy , actually buy, a wheelbarrow to get 'my' cash.

Is there a benefit so I can get a wheelbarrow?

Only a million? Clearly if you were an illegal immigrant with over a hundred children you'd easily be raking in £2.5 million a week. It's an OUTRAGE, I tell you.

What box do you tick to get your benefits paid in Zim dollars?

Do you have a plasma screen goat?

Ha ha ha. Creasing. Thanks for sharing

Yes there is a wheelbarrow grant.

I'm not jealous - just pleased things are going to change.:) enjoy it while you can - the argument is lost.

I don't pay any tax, so meh.

Usual have a and a and I will have one too

We can pull up a chair by your heated pool (it is heated, isn't it?) and you can tell me how I go about it.

pianadoodle do a check for me, I don't just have a lazy eye, I am lazy in my entirety. I must be entitled to more.

Chickens - people can be so generous with other people's money. Makes them look good, costs them nothing.