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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I get a million pounds a week in benefits

185 replies

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 13:49

And a 30 room mansion in the country with a swimming pool.

Not to mention all my 45 children have horses and go to private school by helicopter.

Are you jealous? Eh?

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 23/07/2013 14:21

Who looks after the flock of goats? Do you get a goat for each child?

NinaHeart · 23/07/2013 14:21

Well loblocks to the lot of you.
I rule the world.

ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath · 23/07/2013 14:21

I bet you need to top up the payments with interviews with the DM though usual? They pay really well.

Honestly, it's so easy to get loads of money and live like royalty on benefits, don't know why everyone isn't doing it.

Crumbledwalnuts · 23/07/2013 14:21

Nice one Tabitha. We don't need to worry that much. The winds are changing - this kind of thing is about all the envious have left to resort to.

JakeBullet · 23/07/2013 14:22

Need to get a bloke to park it usual, all that equality bollocks. That'll learn you to get a femal chauffeur.

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 14:23

The DM does pay really well for a sad photo.

OP posts:
Crumbledwalnuts · 23/07/2013 14:24

Goths - don't worry - I'm getting much more cheerful now the Tories are finally getting a lid on it. :)

EyesCrossedLegsAkimbo · 23/07/2013 14:24

Wheel barrow? I use my 4x4 and horsebox to collect my millions.

Binkyridesagain · 23/07/2013 14:26

Amateurs! You use a yacht, sail it up the thames and get the minions to deliver the gold to you

HighJinx · 23/07/2013 14:26

Have you asked for a luxury coach instead - it's not greedy when there's 40+ of you and there isn't always a helipad at Waitrose, I find.

ActionLog · 23/07/2013 14:28

Yeah well I work 248 hours per week despite saving lives on an hourly basis and working in my spare time on a cure for cancer and yet paid 26p per hour and am overdrawn to the tune of the national debt of Spain and have to live under Waterloo bridge. This is because the government take 480% of my income in tax to give to the likes of the OP. Fair, much?

JakeBullet · 23/07/2013 14:28

The "Tories are getting a lid in it" PMSL...er...you mean the Coalition.

Anyway, if they are "getting a lid in it" how come I am still getting free food for my free goat?

Lighten up, c'mon. This is a fun thread pushing all the rubbish the DM would have you believe. Unless of course you DO actually believe it.

HighJinx · 23/07/2013 14:28

And the continuing focus remains on how the less productive can force even more from those that work harder & have greater skills, instead of how they might increase their own productiveness.

This is enlightening. See, before I read this I thought that the continuing focus remains on how the advantaged can increase their advantage and get even more from their workers for less pay then dump them when they screw up and the business isn't making enough gazillions anymore.

Every day's a school day huh.

Salmotrutta · 23/07/2013 14:31

I object to my hard earned money paying for your swimming pool usual

You could at least install a polo field instead.

coughcommoncough

Twirlyhot · 23/07/2013 14:33

FYI people hunted as a group. They worked together. Women could also hunt and gather Shock. You don't need a penis to make and set a net to trap birds or gather nuts and fruit. People worked together to gather fuel, hunt, raise children and protect their community.Capitalism wasn't big then. Cooperatives were. Much more efficient and effective.

Let me tell you a fable.

Derek the hunter fell and hurt himself chasing after a stag. He couldn't hunt or provide for his family (luckily Mrs Derek could provide plenty of pigeons but I digress) and it was nearly 2,000 years until Claims Direct would exist. He and his family still got a share of the kill which enabled him to recover. Eventually he got his health back but could no longer keep up with the hunters. He took on the role of protecting the group whilst the others hunted and was still a valued member of the community.

arabesque · 23/07/2013 14:37

I bet your 45 children have 45 different fathers.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 23/07/2013 14:39

How do you manage on that small amount usual?

Do you have to make one chicken stretch between 2 people?
I'd have a word with someone tbh. That's not nearly enough.

Swimming pools are very working class you know, every million pound benefit scrounged has them now.

I personally made the council build a theme park in my garden. They did this by knocking down the tax payers houses.
What do they need a bloody house for anyway?

I mean, MY CHILDREN have a right to play you know.
And I can't afford to take them to the theme parks on a million pounds. There's too many of them. And no one to look after the goats.

feelingood · 23/07/2013 14:42

Do you have a paddock for your goats?

HighJinx · 23/07/2013 14:42

I bet your 45 children have 45 different fathers

Yeah and I bet none of them pay any maintenance and all of them have loads of kids with loads of other women.

Broken Britain Wink

Crumbledwalnuts · 23/07/2013 14:45

"The "Tories are getting a lid in it" PMSL...er...you mean the Coalition"

Lol no I don't, the LibDems wouldn't do any of this but they have to hang on by their fingernails somehow to power.

Twirly actually Tabitha's point of view has just been validated on another thread by a poster saying we need to support lazy bad people to stop them resorting to crime.

TheCuntingPigeon · 23/07/2013 14:47

Coo. :)

twistyfeet · 23/07/2013 14:51

is there a poolboy grant?

Meglet · 23/07/2013 14:52

So do I.

Karl runs up little haute couture goat clothes for mine. They chew them a bit, but hey, I can afford it.

CheeryCherry · 23/07/2013 14:53

Is that all??
Poor thing Sad
(((hugs)))

Blu · 23/07/2013 14:55

Do you get a free car and a Blue Badge? If not it's possibl you are not getting everything you are entitled top. Try the CAB?