I get a million pounds a week in benefits

[usualsuspect]

And a 30 room mansion in the country with a swimming pool.

Not to mention all my 45 children have horses and go to private school by helicopter.

Are you jealous? Eh?

[SoleSource]

I think usual has been cloned.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Gobby

Bloody hell! now you want a gutter. Excuse me my hard earned council tax payment shouldn't be used to provide you and your family with a gutter to live in (or any similar drainage channel for that matter).

harumph!

[arabesque]

Yes, and who paid for that cloning? The taxpayers, that's who.

[usualsuspect]

Oooh I can can get my clones to claim even more money.

Great tip,Sole.

[ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath]

@ blue badge for your wheelbarrow!

Serious note- can we ask MNHQ if we can have a benefits bashing section? Would save a lot of hassle in knowing where to post.

[pianodoodle]

Gobby

Bloody hell! now you want a gutter. Excuse me my hard earned council tax payment shouldn't be used to provide you and your family with a gutter to live in (or any similar drainage channel for that matter)

Lol this reminds me of the four Yorkshire men sketch...

"we got evicted from our hole in the ground" :)

[ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath]

I'm going to buy up some poor/ work houses with my benefits so that I'll rake it in even more soon.

[SoleSource]

I want a wheelbarrow badge! for my Ford Fiesta

[MammaTJ]

Serious note- can we ask MNHQ if we can have a benefits bashing section? Would save a lot of hassle in knowing where to post.

Bring back the workhouse. Those lazy workshy buggers without jobs or disabled can all live there!

[MurderOfGoths]

I asked MNHQ when I reported one of those goady threads, they didn't answer though.

[SoleSource]

What is work? I know what a house is, I have 567876544567 free ones.

[arabesque]

I couldn't remember where my house was when I rolled home drunk the other night. So I just got the council to give me a new one .

[MurderOfGoths]

crumbled Look, I get that you are attempting to have a serious conversation, but seeing as this thread started by talling about goats et al I think you can safely guess that if we are posting on here then we want a break from that particular conversation and are instead enjoying not having to think too deeply about it for a change.

Anyway, back to business. That last paragraph was typed by my goat who was privately tutored to type using taxpayers money.

[usualsuspect]

You are on the MNHQ blacklist after that logo,Murder.

[MurderOfGoths]

They're spying on me as I type...

[Pixel]

How many of the 45 are girls? Have they all had their boob jobs on the NHS yet? Don't want them to miss out.

[usualsuspect]

Off to the tower with you.

[MurderOfGoths]

Oh no, I own the tower see. Got it as a reward for being workshy.

[ouryve]

You need to get some of those kids diagnosed with SN, usual. You'll be really rolling in it, if you do that. Free cars, free holidays (and they'll be able to jump queues at theme parks), individual tuition at school - the works.

[ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll]

Usual Bring your tribe round to mine. My many council paid butlers and nannies can watch the 100 children and we will have the free government appointed bar keep to make us drinks.

[LookingForwardToMarch]

Viva la revolution Murder!

(Pssst if men in black suits with posh shoes appear at your door DO NOT answer)

[MurderOfGoths]

I'll use my multi million dollar getaway car if I see 'em!

[RandallPinkFloyd]

See, I don't know what I think now. I'm confused.

See I rake in bajillions of taxpayers money but then I also earn a taxable wage. So technically I'm scrounging from myself and stealing my own money.

I get that I should be outraged but in which direction. Should I be furious that my benefits are being cut left right and centre and that I can't afford to move out of my damp-ridden house or replace my ancient rust bucket of a car? Or should I be incandescent with rage that my tax money is being given to people like me to fritter away on cars and houses in the country?

T'is a conundrum and no mistake.

[MammaTJ]

Randall bless you, are you all confuzzled now? Is this going to lead to depression? I'm sure it is, then you can take the simple route of not working and get oodles of benefits.

[usualsuspect]

It is a dilemma,Randall.

Maybe you could start a thread and argue with yourself?