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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I dare you to think this benefits couple is reasonable

178 replies

lainiekazan · 23/07/2013 07:58

Dh's brother and wife are very comfortable: large house, Range Rover, etc.

Their dd lives with her boyfriend in a country cottage on housing benefit. Neither work due to depression. They run a car, have holidays, nice clothes financed by their parents.

Now the dd is having a baby, and they are awaiting a new-build HA home in dh's brother's village.

The boyfriend is a professional student (he told me he can always find funding as he is unwaged and independent) and he said that their dc will be privately educated because it/they will be eligible for bursaries.

Surely IANBU for all this majorly sticking in my craw?

OP posts:
DaddyPigsMistress · 23/07/2013 07:59

Whats the point of the post?

TheSecondComing · 23/07/2013 08:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StickyProblem · 23/07/2013 08:03

Great, soon you will have three generations to feel jealous of.

Let it go OP. There will be something you don't know, no-one can "always" get funding for student courses. Perhaps he has an inheritance or something else that's none of your business.

Read some of the threads about people suffering chronic pain, count your blessings, and get on with your own life.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer · 23/07/2013 08:03

What kind of student funding? I am doubtful.

Moxiegirl · 23/07/2013 08:03

Which bit annoys you? If the parents want to subsidise their lifestyle then they are no different to any other unemployed couple having a baby. Just let them get on with it.

HalfBakedAlaska · 23/07/2013 08:03

It seems like there's one of these threads daily atm.

From your brief details, it sounds like there is far more to it. And anyway, for the tiny, TINY minority of people who play the benefits system, there are thousands who need benefits desperately to keep their heads above water. So if this is a benefits-bashing exercise, YABU.

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 08:04

I don't care.

Still a benefit bashing troll goady thread makes a welcome change from all the vomit inducing Maic Royal Baby love.

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 08:05

Magic not Malc, they haven't called him Malcom.

Binkyridesagain · 23/07/2013 08:06

No wide screen tv?

Do they have enough land for a goat?

TabithaStephens · 23/07/2013 08:08

I think they are very unreasonable. Someone should report them to the fraud dept. You can bet they aren't declaring all the help they are getting from parents.

hardboiledpossum · 23/07/2013 08:09

Maybe they really are too depressed to work? I remember when I was depressed I could barely drag myself from bed most days. I don't see what their parents giving them money has to do with anything. I had a baby youngish and my parents pay for me to go on holidays. I'm pretty sure you only get four years of loans/grants from the student loans company

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 08:12

Have they got a horse?

MalcolmTuckersMum · 23/07/2013 08:13

Magic not Malc, they haven't called him Malcom

An oversight which has not gone unnoticed here............ [thin lipped disapproving look]

FasterStronger · 23/07/2013 08:18

yep this thread is better than hearing Radio 4 tell me 'its a boy' in yet another way.

primallass · 23/07/2013 08:22

They might be eligible for bursaries but it doesn't mean they will get them.

Trills · 23/07/2013 08:23

YOU are being unreasonable to use the phrase "benefits couple".

ComposHat · 23/07/2013 08:33

The student funding thing isn't true...in England you get funding gor one undergraduate degree and then funding for masters and doctoral level study are on the basis of academic merit not financial circumstances. funding for both of these is rarer than rocking horse shite.

WilsonFrickett · 23/07/2013 08:36

He doesn't get unlimited funding, no-one does. If their child is bright and they remain low-income then yes s/he may be eligible for a bursary but so would any child tbh. Although I find it a bit ick you are speculating on the future education of an unborn child...

As for the ha house, I thought their was a shortage of low cost housing in the country so great that a young couple are able to get a secure tenancy.

RhondaJean · 23/07/2013 08:37

IF and I say IF you have got this story right they had better watch out dwp don't notice their lifestyle and count their parental contributions as income.

Also, they will be very very lucky if they Waltz into a new build ha house, endless funding to study is not available anywhere unless he is extremely gifted (see above re post grad study) in which case trust me he will be working his arse off to keep it and I think doctoral funding is usually around 13k a year, and would effect other household benefits, and NOONE. Can predict their unborn child will receive bursaries.

What your bil does with his money, though, is sweet fa to do with you or anyone else really.

bunchoffives · 23/07/2013 08:38

TabithaStephens It is not fraud to accept a present from your parents whilst on benefits.

OP YABU - you don't know the finer detail - nor do we. What you have told us is that the 'benefits couple' are depressed - they must be diagnosed to claim benefits on that basis. Same with applying for a Housing Assoc house.

Their parents wealth is not theirs - and young people spout all kinds of nonsense are sometimes mistaken about what sort of help may be available to them. Student loans and bursaries are not available indefinitely.

Your post would have more value if it attempted to draw attention to the millions of disabled people who are losing 14% or 25% of their meagre benefits because they have the temerity to occupy a hone with a spare bedroom even though there is no smaller accommodation available to them. Now that really is an injustice that we should feel outraged about.

quoteunquote · 23/07/2013 08:39

they are awaiting a new-build HA home in dh's brother's village

Your DH's brother has a whole village, where did he get that? What did your DH get? I hope it was fair, at least a couple of hamlets and a woodland.

and have they been told that villages are only for rich people?

Shocking I spilt my coffee, and broke my pearls.

BatwingsAndButterflies · 23/07/2013 08:41

Benefit bashing goady fucker thread.

I notice that the OP does not claim that they have enough to live on from benefits, all the nice stuff comes from their parents.

How do you think they would live if their parents stopped giving them money? They would certainly not be able to send a child private even with bursaries because they could not afford the extras like uniform.

WilsonFrickett · 23/07/2013 08:45

Also students don't get JSA because they are not available for work. Or HB iirc. In fact, I don't think students get anything so it's a bit off to call them a 'benefits couple'.

Mind you, it's a bit off to call anyone a benefits couple, not that you give a shiny shit about that I suspect...

Original poster
lainiekazan · 23/07/2013 09:36

They are playing the system. Sil is very knowledgeable about such things and has accessed dubiously-warranted benefits for her other dc.

Frankly who cares if neither ever goes to work ever again if dh's brother chooses to support them, but I think they're making a mockery of things with their cottage on housing benefit.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 09:40

ODFOD

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