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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I dare you to think this benefits couple is reasonable

178 replies

lainiekazan · 23/07/2013 07:58

Dh's brother and wife are very comfortable: large house, Range Rover, etc.

Their dd lives with her boyfriend in a country cottage on housing benefit. Neither work due to depression. They run a car, have holidays, nice clothes financed by their parents.

Now the dd is having a baby, and they are awaiting a new-build HA home in dh's brother's village.

The boyfriend is a professional student (he told me he can always find funding as he is unwaged and independent) and he said that their dc will be privately educated because it/they will be eligible for bursaries.

Surely IANBU for all this majorly sticking in my craw?

OP posts:
ComposHat · 23/07/2013 09:41

ODFOD?

mynameisslimshady · 23/07/2013 09:42

I get 8 miliion a year on benefits and live on my own island, this couple obviously aren't playing the system well enough. I can give them a few pointers.

Crumbledwalnuts · 23/07/2013 09:43

Of course it's not reasonable. That's my money and everyone else's money.

Bluestocking · 23/07/2013 09:43

That's nothing, Slim, I have my own planet and a golden space ship so I can get back to earth to sign on.

Crumbledwalnuts · 23/07/2013 09:44

Compos hat -Oh Do fuck off dear, I think people do that when they don't want to get deleted for being rude.

WilsonFrickett · 23/07/2013 09:46

Then report them. Seriously. But I suspect you don't know the full picture, and the boyfriend is (successfully) winding you up.

burberryqueen · 23/07/2013 09:46

this whole thing about the 'country cottage' is pissing me off.
should 'the country' be reserved for the rich or as an escape trope for the middle classes? should 'the poor' live in a terraced street?
and they run a car?
boo hoo hoo - guess what u have to run a car if u live in 'the country'.

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 09:47

I'm quite happy to be deleted.

Crumbledwalnuts · 23/07/2013 09:47

Do people not realise that those who suffer worst from all of this kind of behaviour is not the royal family, or the Middletons, or the Tories. It's the people who need that HA flat but can't get into it because someone who doesn't need it has it instead. And so it goes on. But apparently some people don't care about that. Just shrug and don't care. What - someone who needs an HA flat can't get one because someone who doesn't need it is living there? So what? Who cares?

burberryqueen · 23/07/2013 09:48

and 'crumbled walnuts' that is not 'your money' any more than my WFTC and CB is.

Crumbledwalnuts · 23/07/2013 09:48

Yes, it's my money - I pay taxes. Don't you?

Viviennemary · 23/07/2013 09:51

Benefits come from other people's money. Where else do benefits come from. Good when people need benefits. Which is precisely why the system needs to be reformed.

burberryqueen · 23/07/2013 09:52

get real crumbled walnuts - so you would rather what you rather endearingly like to think of as 'your money' went on killing children in Iraq and Afghanistan?
you have really swallowed the benefits lie that this government is pushing haven't you?
i pay some tax yes but i think of it as payback for the WFTC CB and HB I have received over the years. I find that helps keep a sense of proportion.

MammaTJ · 23/07/2013 09:54

Yes, crumbled walnuts, but who is to say they don't need/deserve it. PEople might say I don't need my HA house as we both work FT but we do. The Council and the HA agree, and that is enough for me.

TabithaStephens · 23/07/2013 09:54

I would rather my money stayed in my own pocket so I could spend it on my own family, instead of the families of others.

Country cottages are fine, as long as you are paying your own way.

babybearsmummy · 23/07/2013 09:57

Apart from reporting them to whichever companies are financing them, there's not a lot you can do. Even if you did report them and they lost their money, would you not feel bad with them not being able to affort to look after their baby. At the end of the day, it's what they've been allocated :/ Just try to ignore it and get on with things

Crumbledwalnuts · 23/07/2013 10:05

Get real burberry - that's not really the choice is it? I'd rather spend it on my own children or on what I want to spend it on. I did earn it, after all.

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 10:11

So you don't use state schools then,or the nhs?

burberryqueen · 23/07/2013 10:11

you need to get reall, walnuts, an awful lot of taxpayers' money does go on oil war - that is why the present government is encouraging benefit bashing as it deflects attention from that. The sooner we all cop on to that the better!
of course it is not a straight choice ! I was just being rhetorical.

RoxyFox211 · 23/07/2013 10:11

You can't be a professional student! No matter on your income you only get funding for one undergraduate course ( including a year or two for retakes if you need them), depression is a debilitating illness that can affect anyone from any social background. Yabu. Why do you care so much how other people live their lives?

Crumbledwalnuts · 23/07/2013 10:13

No I don't use state schools. Yes I use the NHS. What's the relevance? Are you offering me the option to just pay for what I use? Can I bite your hand off now?

No you need to get reall burberry if you think the choice is pyaing people who don't need it and killing children in Iraq. What a bizarre and polarised view.

Crumbledwalnuts · 23/07/2013 10:16

In fact why don't we calculate what everyone uses and send them the bill. Great idea usual. I'll have school fees lopped off and my boss will have schools and the NHS lopped off. And I didn't agree with the Iraq war so I'll have that lopped off too, and I dont' use social care so I'll have that lopped off as well.

How crazy. Paying for some redistribution shouldn't mean you have to be a mug and a doormat and pay for cheaters and taking the mickey. Otherwise people want to stop paying for any kind of redistribution at all.

OnTheNingNangNong · 23/07/2013 10:17

' It's my money' Do you single-handedly pay for all these benefits then. You must be loaded then and can't begrudge sharing your vast wealth.

Crumbledwalnuts · 23/07/2013 10:19

No I don't. Does that make it not my money? Because it's not ALL my money, NONE of it is my money? Have you thought this through at all?

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 10:19

That's what you were saying though.You want to choose not to pay for benefits.

Nice bit of back tracking there.