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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not know what to do jobwise?

129 replies

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2013 17:31

I currently have been in my current job for nearly 9 years but it's changed, I don't really like it and I am bored

I have the opportunity to go for another job in a different company but I can't decide what to do

My existing job is local to me and is only a couple of miles away. I can also do the role standing on my head.

The potential new job is an hour or so commute away. I have a 19 mo DS. I would be leaving the house at 6:30am and getting home 6:30pm. I don't drive so would be relying on trains and would have increased travel costs.

The existing job is permanent - the new job is a 6 month contract with a chance to go perm.

BUT - the new job is in investment banking which sounds very attractive and better then my current industry (energy trading). And the enforced me time on the train appeals - as does working in a major city.

DH doesn't seem keen for me to take the new role. I am torn. I think my CV looks crappy with 1 job for nearly 9 years and something fresh would be good for me and good for my career, plus it could be the foot in the door to a good industry.

Anyone got any views on what they would do?

The money is better in the new role but not massively so, especially after extra travel costs.

OP posts:

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 21/07/2013 17:34

I wonder...have you considered what it will be like when school for DS starts?

Is it a lot more money?

If it's not, then I wouldn't do it. 5 days a week 12 hours...you won't be there for any school events at all.

SpottyTeacakes · 21/07/2013 17:35

My instant reaction is to say go for it.

Would you be able to survive if you end up unemployed for a bit once the contract has ended?

Why isn't your dh keen?

Justforlaughs · 21/07/2013 17:37

What I would do isn't necessarily what you should do. I wouldn't do it, for me personally I would want to spend as much time as possible with my DC and my career is really not that important to me. I'm not knocking what other people do at all, but you asked what we would do.

quesadilla · 21/07/2013 17:39

I am in a very similar situation to you and I think you should take it. You have to think long term in these situations and sometimes take short term pain for long term gain.

If you are bored and not advancing in your career its going to be hard to motivate yourself over the long term.

I suppose you have to ask yourself how likely a permanent job is after the six months is up and be realistic. But if this is what you want to do long term probably best to jump at the chance to get some experience.

Original poster

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2013 17:42

Being unemployed for a bit would be difficult. It would be a worry. I am the sole breadwinner

It's not a massive amount of extra money - after travel costs, maybe an extra 20% - so significant but not megabucks.

DH thinks 12 hours days, 5 days a week is too much with a toddler. PLus he is concerned I am some distance away and reliant on trains if something happened and I needed to get back DS. Added to his concern that the second train I have to get (the one home) is a rubbish, hourly service and if I miss it or it's cancelled (does happen a reasonable amount) it will be 7:30pm when I get in and I will be shattered and not see DS much.

I haven't really thought about what it will be like when school starts - I work full time now anyway - are many school events in the day? I have always just vaguely thought I would take annual leave for sports days / nativities etc, but is there other stuff?

To be honest, I think to earn what I am earning now I will have to commute to a city. But I could take the "safe" option and stay where I am. I'm bored though!

OP posts:

charlottehere · 21/07/2013 17:42

Will you cope financially after 6 months?

Original poster

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2013 17:43

I'm leaning to take it.

I was actually thinking "maybe I should wait till DS is at school" but from some comments, that sounds like it could be a worse not better time to do it

OP posts:

Original poster

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2013 17:44

We wouldn't cope if I didn't get another job but I am fairly confident I could get something lined up if it didn't go permanent. It is a risk though.

Also, I am 37 in September so not getting any younger and I worry if I wait a few more years to change it will be too late.

OP posts:

SpottyTeacakes · 21/07/2013 17:46

Hmm it's hard, I'm in a job that I'm so bored of. I'm currently thinking 'you only live once you need to take every opportunity that comes' but obviously you need to be sensible too when you have responsibilities.

Original poster

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2013 17:47

I know :) I;m so indecisive! Fancy a job-swap Spotty :)

OP posts:

Turniptwirl · 21/07/2013 17:52

If you're the sole breadwinner presumably dh will be around for emergencies with ds? 99.9% of which are not life threatening and don't need you to rush to his side as long as dh is there.

Is there a way you can apply for a more challenging role with your existing company if you decide to stay there? What are the career progression opportunities?

CHJR · 21/07/2013 17:52

Lean in, catgirl. Personally I would hate the commute but I hear ya about the me time. And any kinks with DCs school plays etc can be worked out as they come; that gives you a good 3 years to make your employers depend on you so much they don't mind the odd half-day off. Doesn't DH see himself going to some of those school plays, anyway?

Viviennemary · 21/07/2013 17:54

On balance I'd say don't go for it. Mainly because of the travel and early starts and it only being temporary. However, if you can fast forward five years will you be sorry you hadn't given it a go. It's a hard decision to make.

ShimmeringInTheSun · 21/07/2013 17:54

If I was in your position - could easily do the job but bored with it - is there any way you could ask your boss if you could have extra responsibilities/training etc? That would hopefully stimulate things a bit more, give you new skills to work with, and then when your DC are older, enable you to go for another job without having to worry too much about the home situation.

Also, 37 is NOT old, and being in one job for several years isn't a problem. It shows reliability, dedication, and a willingness to work. All good when you DO look for another job!

VegasIsBest · 21/07/2013 17:54

Investment banking is presumably a fairly presssurised job. Is it realistic to think you'll be able to leave the office by about 5.30 every day, in order to be home by 6.30?

Could you move closer to the job to reduce travel time?

Life certainly becomes more complicated once kids start school rather than nursery. How will you manage before and after school care? Can your partner deal with that?

BackforGood · 21/07/2013 17:55

I wouldn't. Those hours would just be so difficult for me to have been away from my dc (I was going to say at that age, but, tbh, it still applies now they are all at secondary). I know some people don't have a choice, but given a choice, I think it wouldn't be worth it.
Of course, I'm not you - it may be for you.
What is the likelihood of another new job coming along, with increased 'challenge' but without the LONG hours out of the house?
Also, as said ^ Can you cope financially on just your dh's salary if this job finishes in 6 months ?

Original poster

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2013 17:57

DH would be around. He is a SAHD so it's not like DS would be left all alone. He's at nursery 2 days a week but DH would be on hand to get him if anything happened. Also, DPs live near by and are very helpful.

There's no real progression in my current role now.

I think I'm going to go for it. If I hate it, then I will just have to reevaluate and get something else but I think it's one of those things if I don't try I will end up regretting.

Sitting on a train drinking a coffee, listening to my Ipod and reading a magazine sounds like bliss at the moment. Although I appreciate the reality of not being able to get a seat on a delayed, stinky, crowded train that then breaks down is probably not so cool :)

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BikeRunSki · 21/07/2013 18:00

I wouldn't give up a local job for an hour' s commute for a 20% pay increase. I have an.hour' s commute and I hate it. Used to be less, but we moved offices and I resent every single one of those extra
35 mins.

Original poster

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2013 18:00

The culture of investment banking is also DH's concern (although I wouldn't be a trader or anything - it's HR so less pressure) but I think he worries it will start to become longer hours and a lot of pressure even still.

I wish I could make a decision. It does feel like such a risk, but maybe I need that right now in life. And then I swing back to "Catgirl you have a son. Your risk taking days are over". Gahhh.

OP posts:

Earthworms · 21/07/2013 18:00

Can you use the leverage of the better offer to get a promotion / change of role/ training in yr current job. I'm a big believer in giving current employer a chance to make it better before actually jumping ship. Book a meeting with the boss, with resignation letter in yr pocket. If they won't play, hand it over.

I say training because I had an undemanding job that had no possibility of a pay rise ( public sector) so I negotiated them paying for me to do some qualifications. Funnily enough when I qualified they redefined my role to be more interesting and upped my pay!

ExasperatedSigh · 21/07/2013 18:02

Is your H pulling his weight now, catgirl? Because that would seriously influence my decision-making.

Indecisive90 · 21/07/2013 18:02

It sounds like a lot of sacrifice and risk considering it's only a 6 month contract. Not many people will be giving up permanent jobs for a temporary contract. Have you ever dealt with 12 hour days and that kind of commute? It sounds to me like you're underestimating it but I appreciate other people are a lot more driven (and less lazy!) than I am and could handle that.

Original poster

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2013 18:02

It has been at the back of my mind that if I hand in my notice things might change in my current role. But it does feel risky if I am not sure they would or not sure I want the other role. Hopefully they would, I have been there a long time and I think they would want to keep me.

OP posts:

Earthworms · 21/07/2013 18:03

Are you able to learn to drive? Take the pressure out of the commute?

Apologies if there is a medical reason rather than that you have just never needed to learn.

Original poster

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2013 18:03

He is pulling his weight exasperated - things are a lot better

My concern with him is how much support I would get if I make a choice he doesnt really support IYSWIM. I think he would be looking for it to fail or cause problems, if that makes sense

OP posts:

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