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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know what to do jobwise?

129 replies

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2013 17:31

I currently have been in my current job for nearly 9 years but it's changed, I don't really like it and I am bored

I have the opportunity to go for another job in a different company but I can't decide what to do

My existing job is local to me and is only a couple of miles away. I can also do the role standing on my head.

The potential new job is an hour or so commute away. I have a 19 mo DS. I would be leaving the house at 6:30am and getting home 6:30pm. I don't drive so would be relying on trains and would have increased travel costs.

The existing job is permanent - the new job is a 6 month contract with a chance to go perm.

BUT - the new job is in investment banking which sounds very attractive and better then my current industry (energy trading). And the enforced me time on the train appeals - as does working in a major city.

DH doesn't seem keen for me to take the new role. I am torn. I think my CV looks crappy with 1 job for nearly 9 years and something fresh would be good for me and good for my career, plus it could be the foot in the door to a good industry.

Anyone got any views on what they would do?

The money is better in the new role but not massively so, especially after extra travel costs.

OP posts:
Rulesgirl · 22/07/2013 00:19

The op asked peoples opinions. Just cause you don't agree you don't have to be so aggressive do you.

scottishmummy · 22/07/2013 00:23

As in dont disagree with you?like you I've offered can opinion thats the point
Op,of course is best advised to suit herself and in reality it's irrespective what we all say
So once again,your point is obvious to you.globally applicable,no

Rulesgirl · 22/07/2013 00:25

so make your comment and stop judging other people for their opinions. It's not a competition.

scottishmummy · 22/07/2013 00:28

Stop being so combative and got at.i disagree with you.
You're not being attacked,you simply can't tolerated a different pov
I'm sure op,and her child will have many precious moments.they're not that elusive

Rulesgirl · 22/07/2013 00:38

ha ha....You think I'm the one who can't take other opinions.....your the one who challenges other people's comments. Most of us just read and accept that others comments have merit too. Smile

scottishmummy · 22/07/2013 00:42

Indeed,and most (not you) do so without name calling

Rulesgirl · 22/07/2013 00:46

But why challenge nearly every other posters comment.

Rulesgirl · 22/07/2013 00:49

Have I name called???Shock

scottishmummy · 22/07/2013 00:52

Do keep up.its aibu,fast moving us discursive read.
There two main pov on thread1. Yes go for it 2. No don't
The point of a consistent opinion is one expresses it consistently.im not going to undertake mental arithmetic and think oh I'd better agree now to balance stuff

scottishmummy · 22/07/2013 00:54

I'm bemused your Smileat end of posts,clearly we are disagreeing
You said I'm aggressive.I think you're over stating impact of work on precious moments
The faceSmile it's incongruent

Rulesgirl · 22/07/2013 01:03

Whatever Grin

scottishmummy · 22/07/2013 01:07

Right so dust yourself down,don't get so het up
Opinions online are shared liberally.some we like,some not
Enjoy choosing dresses with your lassie

MollyMollyMolly · 22/07/2013 01:31

Scottish what a rude argumentative person you are. Looked through the thread and you seem to disagree with everyone. And now your being very rude to Rules over a quite a nice post that certainly made me think twice about how quickly my kiddies are growing and now I want to spend time with them. Rules makes a very valid point that we can never get the time back with our children and as mums it will always matter to most of us that we don't always get to do that. She was just sharing her perspective as a mum who has been through all the childhood years and whose kids are now grown up.

scottishmummy · 22/07/2013 01:38

Molly,how kind Of you to give an unobjective,and oh my giddy aunt précis of my posts
I don't have the inclination or time too likewise respond to your post
As I don't take everything online as a fraught moment or assault on sensibilities

MollyMollyMolly · 22/07/2013 01:43

Why do you spend so much time on MN anyway being nasty and aggressive to everyone and disagreeing with everything everyone else says? Are you just bitter and unhappy with the world in general cause that's the way it seems from your online personality. Your posts come across as the nasty ramblings of a spiteful person who seems to like upsetting people. O and im sure you will come back with something else but I shall not bother reading it cause it will be of little importance. Just chill for goodness sake and stop taking it so seriously and learn to laugh and be lighthearted a bit. It will do you good.

Rulesgirl · 22/07/2013 01:45

Couldn't agree more.Smile

Chatteringarses · 22/07/2013 10:31

You have to weigh up being employed vs staying employable, which are obvs different.

I did your move when pregnant- Everybody thought I was mad and various rude people asked if the baby was planned etc. My new six month contract had no 'prospects', being project-based, and I was ineligible for the new employers' mat benefits. But I'd gotten out of a perm job that was making me miserable, refreshed my CV, learnt new skills, worked with lovely people and regained my confidence. I handed in my completed project before the birth, everyone was happy with it and I didn't regret a thing.

Since DC I have freelanced for the project people and other orgs in my new chosen field, based on the skills demonstrated in my project. I have the confidence to apply for bigger and better roles now.

If the worst happened and your new role turns out to be only temp then have a shiny new example of work in your chosen field to put on your CV. You'll be more employable for a more secure job in the field you want to join, than you are now.

As the chief breadwinner, remaining employable and happy in your job is more responsible than fossilising in a not-happy job IMHO. You have a SAHD and a couple of days' nursery care so you are in a great position to take a calculated risk. Good luck in whatever you choose!

Dunham · 22/07/2013 12:12

If you are planning on having any more dc's then would say stick with the job that makes your life easier ie. the nearer one. I have done a one hour commute for years. I did a two hour commute on a line that has probs half the time and suddenly was doing a 4 hour commute. Both were into the city. I have also worked locally for several years and have to say that having to commute sucks the life out of people.

Dunham · 22/07/2013 12:22

And am not saying that cos ur a woman. I also said this to Dh. He earns good money for not a lot of hassle and its flexible so he gets to see kids alot more than most working parents. But he is bored. The grass is always greener elsewhere

scottishmummy · 22/07/2013 13:30

Your childcare is sorted with dad,and it's great that you have that
What you've got to weigh up is
The risk of a move,is it positive risk worth taking or do you stay put current role?
The new salary is good,20% is v good.in future easier to get another salary increase from current when you demonstrate you can operate at that salary level
The commute,you will commute more but may still get stuff done if on train
This job may be a stepping stone experience to other job,worth considering for that
Every change has potential risk,and you decide how to manage positive risk.presumably if it weren't to lead to ft post you'd seen that coming and look for another post (internal,external or agency)

I would go for it,you clearly have the ability
Positive risk can be managed,just be realistic

I don't think woman should stay put in a job just in case she gets pg,realistically fertility is most of employed adult age.if you really didn't shift jobs based in just in case you'd never change job,ever

The you're mutha and missing precious moments is red herring.i never see mn berate men the way a woman gets a pasting. Realistically work does demand ones time for remuneration. Your dp doesn't work he has ability to attend all school activities. Your role is to be the financial provider. You've got an oppurtunity to be stimulated and earn more

oscarwilde · 22/07/2013 15:46

I would go for the interview process at least and see what you are offered. My perception of HR for the investment banks is that there is a lot of after hours work - ie, that's the only time that other management will give you. A friend was informed on her first morning by her new PA that she would manage her two diaries and to advise of any personal committments asap as her "evening diary" was filling up fast.......

From previous posts you have made I get the impression that your current role and life combined have been stressful in the past. Going into a contract rather than a perm role [but you would be on six months probation anyway] would mean focussing massively on the role and probably doing significant additional hours for that period of time.
I know a number of senior management who work at CFO/COO level in the City and were originally Heads of HR. Perhaps it is time to look at your current role and decide whether there are other strings you could add to your bow? If you prefer to remain pure HR though and feel bored then a change may be as good as a rest. Grin In my experience its just the same old excrement somewhere else Shock

usuallyright · 22/07/2013 17:48

Lol@scottishmummy saying that the OP is lucky to have her partner at home sorting the childcare.
Hey, I agree. But if the 'wee wifey' is doing the childcare, that's awful, wrong, sexist etc.
But yes, a sahp is great if its a man. Only if its a man. LOL!
Oh mumsnet, how I love thee.
op, I agree. Having dh as a sahp does simplify matters considerably and makes your decision an easier one. All the best.

scottishmummy · 22/07/2013 18:27

Yes what's great is op doesn't need to source any additional childcare to accommodate new job
It's an existing arrangement which can be beneficial if she has longer working day
Working parents need good arrangements,it goes without saying,to facilitate working

HoneyStepMummy · 22/07/2013 18:29

I have a long daily commute. I leave around 6:30am and get home about 6:45pm. It's awful. I don't consider my commute me time, it's really not very enjoyable. But that being said, I can relate to you wanting a challenge and a change and wanting to progress.
If the work ended after 6 months would you be OK about that? Would you be OK financially and happy to just look for a new position, or would you be regretfull that you took the risk and left your old job?
Is there any way you could find a position in investment banking closer to home? Is there any way they would let you work from home a couple of days a week?

Phineyj · 22/07/2013 18:51

My DH has always advised that the time to worry about these issues is when you are holding the firm job offer. I understand HR posts can be hard to fill. You might be able to negotiate a day working from home, compressed hours or whatever - won't know till you get it and negotiate.

As regards GPs, the NHS were trialling letting people register with one near work - not sure if it got rolled out nationally though.

As the main breadwinner I think your position is a bit different to a couple flexing jobs round each other. You need to maximise the bread...

Being very bored and unchallenged at work is one thing is you're 57 but another if you've got 30 years to go, I think.

As long as you have a good safety net of savings I say at least apply.