Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To go and lick my boss' chest?

999 replies

PudseyDuck · 15/07/2013 15:22

My boss is as hot as fuck.

This morning he came to work in a grey suit, white shirt and black tie.

Mid-morning he took off the jacket. Since lunch he's lost the tie, undone his top button and rolled his sleeves up.

He sits just off to my left so I've got a great view of his chest through his top undone button. It really is a great chest. Tanned and well toned.

I just have this overwhelming urge to sit on his lap and lick his chest where his button's open. I know this is a bad idea but I don't know how long I can resist.

OP posts:
MannishBoy · 16/07/2013 16:25

Don't use up all of your tricks in one go, Pudsey. You don't want to be stumped for ideas after today.

FunLovinBunster · 16/07/2013 16:26

50 shades of Pudsey....

Sidge · 16/07/2013 16:26

Good god woman if HB looks good in a pair of budgie-smugglers (cos let's be honest VERY few men do) then he's worth going the whole hog and doing the "Pretend-blow-job-on-a-Mini-Milk" for Grin

cheeseandpineapple · 16/07/2013 16:26

Pudsey, you're wasted in financial planning, this thread is hotter and wittier than 50 shades which I never finished as the writing was so shite.

Got a strong suspicion you'll be needing both these spare knickers tonight. Make sure you have a travel toothbrush or some mints with you too...

Original poster
PudseyDuck · 16/07/2013 16:27

Mannish I'm saving the coke bottle on the neck and the long hard staring at the screen followed by fingers trailing down my neck for later in the week.

OP posts:
inneedofrain · 16/07/2013 16:28

MannishBoy hate to disappoint I have never read mills and boon! But I did have FUN, prior to being borring and married!

OK, to hell with it if you are off a sensitive disposition do NOT read any futher!

Appologies in advance to the mods if this causes any offence.

Guys love to watch women eat falic shapped food items. So lollies are great! do not be odscen you don´t need to be, but do not under any circumstance bite into said lolly, if you do you will not leave the impression you want to! Calipo, twister etc are all great for this, twister are perfect as they can be eaten in such a way that he will be imaging exactly what else you can do with your mouth

Drinks unless they are hot or pints etc order ones with a straw, drink slowly for the love of god, and make sure you play SLIGHTLY with the straw prior to drinking, ie turn it a LITTLE with your fingers whilst drinking from it. think very very subtial not full on!

When talking to hot boss, when ever practical and possible sit at a slight angle to him with your ankles crossed and turn you upper body towards him, and SMILE (shouldn´t be to difficult)

Ok, if your not 100% he is into you, watch his body lanuage see if it mirrors your, ie is he placing his hands etc in similar postures to your own? if so he IS into you. This can be used to your advantage as well ie mirroring someone like HOT boss will make them think subconiously that you are open with them

Original poster
PudseyDuck · 16/07/2013 16:28

cheese I always have a toothbrush because I can't shower after swimming without cleaning my teeth as well... it's weird I know but I don't feel clean enough unless I've cleaned my teeth as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
PudseyDuck · 16/07/2013 16:30
OP posts:
elfycat · 16/07/2013 16:30

Make sure it's a coke bottle with HIS name on it for that 'this could be you I'm rubbing' hint...

liger · 16/07/2013 16:31

Ok, you need to get a seriously sexy song in your head. Perhaps a Beyonce Crazy In Love. Or a Kelis Milkshake - it'll give you a rythmn when you walk that will be irresistable to him and you'll have that feeling of power and confidence that a dance to a darn sexy tune can bring!

NeopreneMermaid · 16/07/2013 16:32
cardamomginger · 16/07/2013 16:32

You are so getting laid. By the end of the week, tops. Lucky cah!!

PedantMarina · 16/07/2013 16:33

Dahlen - oh, Pudsey has a case to answer, all right.

Chests around the country being licked. And now probably a run on Cornettos and tequila.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 16/07/2013 16:33

Don't mind me just place marking again .....

NoGoatsToe · 16/07/2013 16:35

Go for it Pudsey. Am sitting here wistfully reading about all you people who married your hot boss. I had a v hot boss 10 years ago and I thought I would be screwing up my life if I got it on with him. I had too much to lose as it was a family firm so everyone would have known everything. He was my soulmate but I chose my now DH over him. Serious regrets now we are both married with kids. (And he's still my boss!)

BadgersRetreat · 16/07/2013 16:35

Puds i don't think you need worry about being extra 'alluring'. I think it's very safe to say you're in there Grin

MadameOvary · 16/07/2013 16:36

Shameless place-marking. I love licking DP. Usually on the neck but might try the chest after this! Grin

Ray81 · 16/07/2013 16:36

Marking my place !

Love this thread.

QOD · 16/07/2013 16:36

One he wear his trousers "in that way" and does your inner goddess want to punch yourself in the face raise her eyebrows?

QOD · 16/07/2013 16:37

One/does. Duh

VampireGeek · 16/07/2013 16:38

I've been reading the thread and I'm loving the updates, good luck for tonight Wink

PedantMarina · 16/07/2013 16:39

Oh, and here's a tip, mainly for the guys, but women may benefit as well:

When you're facing each other (say, end of evening gooybyes), does his/her glance go back and forth from your eyes to your lips? Definite sign they want kissin'.

YouTheCat · 16/07/2013 16:40

This thread needs turning into a novel. Grin

It's like 50 shades without the crap writing.

Ray81 · 16/07/2013 16:40

Also I married my HB to, have been married 8 yrs and have 3 DC.

Oh how I miss the days of swooning over him in the office, we were extremely naughty and took a 'shower' together in the company shower room when we first got together .

Note to self - really must spice up sex life have become abit complacent lately.

KoalaFace · 16/07/2013 16:42

Oh I'm all of a dither!

This is verr verr exciting.