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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think its pretty standard for a man to go down on a woman

94 replies

JaffaMyCake · 09/07/2013 16:17

I know it's not Friday Grin but its very hot and I'm bored at work waiting to go home!

Texting a friend who was telling me about a ONS she had at the weekend and she just announced in a shocked/smug tone that her man of choice went down on her because apparently that never happens Confused. According to her, in the world of casual sex it's normal for women to give men blow jobs but if a man goes down on a woman it means he really likes her. Surely this can't be true?

OP posts:
Onesleeptillwembley · 09/07/2013 16:19

Absolutely can't comment on what happens in the world of casual sex, sorry.

KnittedWaffle · 09/07/2013 16:21

More like our pornified society means women feel obliged to do it/it's considered pretty standard but men only do it if they really get off on it otherwise they're too lazy
(Just talking about ONS)
Don't think it means he really liked her though.

ThisReallyIsNotSPNopeNotAtAll · 09/07/2013 16:23

Casual sex has never resulted in oral sex for either of us in my experience. Get down to business and get out Grin

HairyGrotter · 09/07/2013 16:23

During my casual sex heyday I would never have let a man go down on me as I find it a little too intimate for ONS, and it wasn't readily offered anyhoo so I guess she's right.

I still tell DP no to oral (me receiving) as I can take it or leave it.

MalcolmTuckersMum · 09/07/2013 16:24

Seriously? I'm going to have to hide this thread - I was just about to tuck into a delicious strawberry cream scone :)

sincitylover · 09/07/2013 16:25

I have met men who I think don't like going down whether it was a casual or serious relationship - they just aren't too keen and some who are expert at it and love it.

All have liked to receive a bj though!! Biscuit My appetite for those can vary actually depending on the man's anatomy - without being too graphic I find some mens bits bjable and some not so much so and so prob wouldn't do it with them!

Maybe it's the same for men! Of course it shouldn't be like that but if it's casual not much else to base it on!

usualsuspect · 09/07/2013 16:26

I'd rather have a strawberry cream scone tbh.

KirjavaTheCat · 09/07/2013 16:26

I've never had a casual sex life, so I can't answer really, but I imagine it could be true.

I reckon there's more of an expectation that a woman will be fine with performing oral sex on her partner, as a sort of accepted, expected part of foreplay. I think porn has a lot to do with that.

sincitylover · 09/07/2013 16:27

dislclaimer - my sample of men here is not vast - it's 5!

Sallyingforth · 09/07/2013 16:30

I'm not one for casual sex, but in my less-than-casual experience it's been equal either way.

sincitylover · 09/07/2013 16:30

I also think in general boundaries for what happens in casual sex or relationships have become a lot more elastic and less vanilla.

softlysoftly · 09/07/2013 16:30

I think from my pre dh casual sex days she's right. Only 1 of my ons went down and I didn't like it it felt far far too intimate.

A vast majority however nudged bj wards.

They were unsuccessful Wink

Reading that back considering my casual sex days were ages 15-17, I am really really glad they are done with.

Original poster
JaffaMyCake · 09/07/2013 16:30

I will say that in my younger days when I was casually shagging Grin it was a pretty 50/50 split between men who would and wouldn't!

Apart from the man who's face I sat on, he didn't have a choice Grin

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 09/07/2013 16:31

I don't think it is standard, but i think that it is because of how we learn about sex and the examples that we are given, in films etc.

Speaking to various friends over the years (i am in my 40's), it seems uncommon even in an established relationship, unless the woman's partner is into it, unlike male BJ's that seem to be expected.

ShabbyButNotChic · 09/07/2013 16:31

I would think its totally normal to both give and take tbh, everyone ive been with (not loads, about 15) has thought the same. Just bog standard isnt it?

FoundAChopinLizt · 09/07/2013 16:33

UsualSmileGrin

Pass the jam..

ShabbyButNotChic · 09/07/2013 16:33

Btw when i speak to my friends about sex, as you do, they all think the same, its just a normal part of average sex. Maybe its an age thing? We are all mainly 25-30.

Fenton · 09/07/2013 16:33

if a man goes down on a woman it means he really likes her

That must be from the same rule book as "you can't get pregnant the first time"

Hmm
PeteCampbellsRecedingHairline · 09/07/2013 16:36

I think your friend is probably right.

I had a boyfriend once who had never done it because he had seen a woman giving birth on T.V once and "It had put him off." Hmm

PeteCampbellsRecedingHairline · 09/07/2013 16:36

He expected blow jobs though, obviously.

Original poster
JaffaMyCake · 09/07/2013 16:38

Naturally pete IME they always fucking do!

OP posts:
TheRealFellatio · 09/07/2013 16:38

I don't know about one night stands so much, but I think in a 'normal' sexual relationship it's pretty standard for two-way oral sex to be part of the deal for both parties. I can't imagine a relationship that would last particularly long without it, but maybe that's just me.

MoodyDidIt · 09/07/2013 16:39

its pretty standard i think in my experience of men but i can take or leave it tbh

am convinced its a myth that its amazing Hmm

Original poster
JaffaMyCake · 09/07/2013 16:39

I think if a man said to me he wouldn't I'd say "look mate I don't particularly like sucking your jizzy cock and risk getting sperm in my eye but I do it because I want you to be happy"

OP posts:
XiCi · 09/07/2013 16:43

Yes very standard and if it didn't happen I would be mightily pissed off. A long term partner who didn't enjoy this would be getting the boot pretty pronto Grin