Wibu to breastfeed my friends baby?

[thepigflu]

So he's been crying for 45 minutes, my friend has only been away for 2 and a half hours, she said she'd be about 3hours but she's not answering her phone. I've tried everything but he's so distressed, twisting his head around searching for a feed. I'm not sure how my friend would take it but I'm thinking I'll just feed him, is that wrong?

Sorry but why has she left such a young baby with you for so long knowing that he exclusively breast fed, very strange behavior

I would feed the baby. Better that than have it distressed and crying. I would rather my baby had bm rather than formula if under 6 months ( although I wouldn't leave a baby without milk either!)

I have to add that I find the whole HIV argument nonsensical - yes if someone was knowingly HIV positive It would be a stupid thing for them to feed someone else's baby but this is a very very unlikely scenario since they would have been screened in pregnancy and discouraged from breastfeeding their own baby so no milk. As for a mum passing on the virus unknowingly she's at risk of passing on any bug she is carrying just by babysitting. Accidents happen, germs are spread, she might for example be a SARS carrier. There are lots of things that can be passed just through pure human interaction that are just as dangerous as HIV.

whirliwig I think in an emergency with a healthy 3 month baby the breast milk of anyone (who didn't have any communicable diseases) would be fine. I also had the same answer when I tried to donate milk but they said because preemies are just so sensitive, they can only use newborn milk to feed them. I am sure a healthy 3 month old would be fine with any human milk

I think why cant you just ring her?you telling me she left a baby so young with no contact number

Where is the OP?

Personally I don't know how I'd feel about someone else breastfeeding DD.

However, I wouldn't leave her without food and if I ever did and it was an emergency I'd suck up my feelings and be glad that she wasn't starved.

I think my problem with it would be the breast. I don't know why, as I'm pretty easy going and am perfectly happy with nakedness and other such non conventional things. I just feel it's something special just DD and I share, iyswim; but if I had to go to hospital for example and had nothing left for her, I'd be glad my DD was fed.

Limitededitionlady perhaps you'd be so kind as to read the op which clearly states that she has tried to ring her

Ackshully the WHO recommends feeding choices in this order

Mother's breast milk
Mother's expressed breastmilk
Someone else's breastmilk
Formula

Interestingly, breastmilk can actually protect a baby from HIV if the mother is positive. But only if it is absolutely exclusive bf and no cracked nipples etc. I thought the recommendations regarding HIV positive mothers had changes recently. With support and knowledge this is possible.

BUT: I do not think it is right to feed someone else's baby without their knowledge and consent.

It is unlikely that this would harm the baby, but it's one of those things you Just Don't Do.

Milk banks screen milk for all sorts of things and pasteurise it.

I think your friend is irresponsible - that's a long time to leave a little baby who is only breast fed!

No, don't breastfeed him. Just try to comfort him as much as possible and make sure he is not left like this again.

:)

So saddening to hear people have issue with the breast in mouth over other things. I'd much prefer a nipple than a finger, the latter is used for all sorts!

I've been thinking while reading through and feeding my 11 wk old. I'd rather my baby was fed than allowed to get distressed.

DS 1 had a milk allergy. He was also a bottle refuser so he would have been better being fed at ther breast.

I have given DS2 a small amount of formula on a couple of occasions, but with DS1's history, on the off-chance that DS2 had a reaction, I'd rather it was me that faced it than a friend who was already stressed out by the feeding baby dilemma.

Similarly, if I was in the OP's position, I think I'd feed. The baby getting distressed would stimulate my milk production making me engorged, uncomfortable and leaky. I'm also not used to sterilising and using formula, so would feel safer about feeding baby correctly at the breast.

The friends I have who I trust to leave my children with (who happen to be pregnant and therefore could potentially have this issue) are highly likely to be in excellent health. The chances of them infecting my baby (or vice versa) with anything serious are incredibly low. The most likely situation would be something easily treated like thrush.

Ooh. What happened?

Ok my tuppence

If op has tried to contact mum with out success
Tried to contact someone else ie father (if possible) without success
If baby is distressed
If baby would not settle for some else ie husband if I had one just on the off chance baby was being stimulated by my breasts

I would probably go with a very small amout of expressed bm rather than formula

I would be very worried about this I case friend was upset but I would be more worried about a very hungry baby crying in distress for some period of time

I would also tell the friend in no uncertan terms that I should not have ever been put in that position and not should her baby. I'm sorry but having not been able to contact you having done x y z I was out of options

But thankfully I have never been put in that position

I had a friend drop her newborn off for about an hour and a half a few weeks back. Well, she just came out with 'shit, I've forgotten the bottle of expressed milk - oh well, you can just feed her can't you??'
After the shock subsided i thought 'why the hell not?'
As it happens she slept the whole time, but I would have done it if she had been desperate. :-)

I can see this from both sides

Screaming baby needs feeding - so feed it
It's not that baby's breast milk though

Just for the record, a very similar thing happened to me once. I had my friend's small baby for what I was told would be a short while. I can't remember exactly how long she said she would be or how old the baby was at the time, but she was extremely late and her baby was screaming and inconsolable with hunger for a long time. I didn't have the choice to breast feed the baby (I was pregnant with my DD at the time) but I understand the OP wanting to do this. There was literally nothing I could do to help.

My friend swanned in at whatever time it was claiming to have been stuck in traffic (she wasn't, I don't know wtf she was doing). I couldn't give two shits if someone is late picking their child up if I'm babysitting, but if it's an ebf tiny baby, there's no excuse.

Oh, and I would happily have breastfed the baby if I had the mother's permission and if I could physically have done it. I have no problem with sharing milk.

I'd be grateful if you fed my baby.

I'm surprised by how many people would just breastfeed the baby with no prior permission. I feel like if I ever have a newborn, ill have to have some sort of pre babysitting discussion about not breastfeeding my baby if the milk I provide runs out. That's a conversation I never imagined I would have to have! Mumsnet always opens my mind to the world

Honestly, I'm surprised how many people would rather the baby to be hungry and screaming instead.

Yip, screw what's best for the baby and the poor baby sitter.

Don't know where that stray 'to' came from!

AmyFarrah - what if you were massively delayed? What if the option was your baby screams and cries for ages vs your friend's breast milk?

I can't believe anyone would seriously want their baby to suffer.