Wibu to breastfeed my friends baby?

[thepigflu]

So he's been crying for 45 minutes, my friend has only been away for 2 and a half hours, she said she'd be about 3hours but she's not answering her phone. I've tried everything but he's so distressed, twisting his head around searching for a feed. I'm not sure how my friend would take it but I'm thinking I'll just feed him, is that wrong?

Give

I wouldn't have minded if someone had fed my baby (I don't think), never having been in that position it's hard to know. I think I would exhaust all avenues before taking such a step myself though. Have you heard from your friend yet OP? Is she OK? It seems odd that she hasn't shown up or answered her phone.

I'd stick with the rocking, cuddling and maybe sticking your little finger in his mouth for him to suck for now. I can't decide whether I'd mind if it was me or not, probably not but its a tough one.

Id rather take the risk tbh. Mind you, the thought of being away from my 7mo, who eats solids like a gannet and drinks water, for 3 hours without providing food or being contactable is anathema to me.

OP, your mate is taking the piss! But I'd put my baby's needs above my preferences any day.

The hospital gave my newly born baby someone else's breast milk while I was asleep. It was the first feed he ever had. I was furious and upset and have never forgotten nor forgiven it.

op. Hope your friend has turned up.

Is it the fact that it is breast milk that is an issue for some, or is it the delivery system? If it's the latter, would people be happier if the milk was expressed into a cup and fed to the bay that way?

I'm quite a long way past this, but I don't think it would have worried me if a friend had done this for my child - but unless it is an emergency I think the OP shouldn't feed the child without the mum's permission - but a hungry baby of that age is pretty urgent. If the mum didn't come back pretty soon after the OP last posted, and the baby was still upset (and getting hungrier), I MIT think that was urgent enough to justify feeding the baby.

I think given the circumstances it would be entirely reasonable to give a very young and hungry baby some sustenance. The squeamishness is most certainly cultural than logical.

I'm probably going to get a flaming for this, but for me the issue would not just be the breast milk, but the breast. I would feel deeply uncomfortable about my friend putting her breast in my baby's mouth. I am aware that feeding young is the biological reason for breasts, but for me that only applies for your own young. The idea of someone who isn't my baby's mother putting her breast into my child's mouth makes me feel sick.

I would however be happy for my baby to be fed donated breast milk from a bottle as long as that milk had gone through the proper screening. I know my own sexual and drug history and have been tested for HIV, I cannot be as certain about someone else. I also will have avoided any foods that cause a problem for my baby.

So no you should definitely not bf someone elses baby IMO. Hopefully the issue is long resolved by now snyway, or I would be speaking to the relevant authorities op.

Interesting article here

www.guardian.co.uk/society/2007/jan/05/health.medicineandhealth

Ok as this post is looking increasingly hypothetical I'll add my tuppence worth. If you did this - with permission from mum - surely your babies would need to be at the same developmental stage roughly wouldn't they? I say this since I considered becoming a milk donor and then discovered I was ineligible since my baby was over 6 months of age. Presumably the milk changes quite radically as the baby grows? Secondly I'm pretty sure a baby might not be that agreeable to a feed from someone other than his mother - of course eventually hunger would overrule but I assume that initally there may be resistance and the baby might not latch easily to someone who smelt different / had different milk to mum?
As a breast feeding peer supporter I find the idea of sfeeding

SDTG for me it would be the other persons BM AND the delivery of it.

My reasons (I'll tell you because you havent been a twat about it unlike a PP ) - BFing was something I did for my baby, as the mother. Every BF was a BF that nearly didnt happen, for one reason or another, and was a lovely little moment just me and him that no-one else could do. If someone took one of those moments away from me without asking it would signify a certain arrogance that I wouldn't be able to forget about, and I'd never be able to forget that person seriously overstepped a mark. So tbh it would probably be the end of the friendship. If they could do something so personal and 'mummy' as that what else would they not see the boundary for?

Saying that I'd never be daft enough to leave a BF 3 month old for more than an hour without having some sort of provision for him.

SDTG - for me it would be the 'bodily fluid' not the 'breastfeeding'. I think the 'breastfeeding' itself, if done for the right reasons (baby's need, not the other woman's desire), would be a lovely thing to do.

I would be pissed off if someone did it if I was a few minutes later than I said I'd be, but if I was hours late or had had to go to hospital or something then I'd be fine with it from certain people, but others I would prefer them to bottle feed.

In the OP's (ficticious) case, the mum was obviously happy for the baby to go without feeding for 3 hours, so I don't think the OP should have even considered doing it before 3.5 hours - it's not her decision in that situation. However out of line I think the mother's thinking/behaviour is.

I'm with Heffa, I completely dislike the idea of another woman putting their breast in my child's mouth.

I wouldn't however have left my EBF baby for, seemingly, a whole day.

Cut off.. As a bf peer supporter I find the idea of someone feeding another's child a lovely and giving thing to do but I think permission has to be sought and given in all but emergency situations .

I'm glad my question came over as non-twat-like, TheToys - that was my intention.

Of course you should ask for her permission first. I'm shocked at the posters who don't think that permission is necessary.

I'd be very grateful if a friend fed my crying baby. But I also wouldn't leave a 3 month old with a friend and no expressed milk/ means of contacting me.

The disgust aspect is certainly cultural and unreasonable. Fear of disease less so but you have to weigh the risks.

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If the baby can be kept calm and happy in other ways, and the mother isn't too delayed, then I'd agree that permission should be sought before feeding the baby anything.

However, if the mother is unreachable, the time drags on, or the little one becomes distressed, I would feed the baby... ideally water to buy some time if the poor little thing would take it.

There are issues (legal and other) whatever you do, so its a case of weighing up the risks. When a child is left in your care, you are the one responsible for giving it that care, or neglecting it. I would rather potentially fall out with a friend than neglect a little baby that has only me to look after it.

Very unreasonable for her to leavea very young bf baby for so long and to be non contactable. I would not do it for all those reasons raised by others on here. Next time raise it with your friend, and ask her how she feels about bf her baby

If i trusted a friend to look after my baby then i wouldn't have an issue with her feeding my baby.