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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wibu to breastfeed my friends baby?

303 replies

thepigflu · 01/07/2013 12:51

So he's been crying for 45 minutes, my friend has only been away for 2 and a half hours, she said she'd be about 3hours but she's not answering her phone. I've tried everything but he's so distressed, twisting his head around searching for a feed. I'm not sure how my friend would take it but I'm thinking I'll just feed him, is that wrong?

OP posts:
libertine73 · 01/07/2013 12:59

Oh lord, has she not left a bottle? Very U of her to piss off out, not come back on time, and not leave you with anything Angry

Try everything else before you do that though, walking outside, cooled water, suck on a banana, how old is he?

LadyBryan · 01/07/2013 12:59

I don't see any problem with it other than the lack of consent.

i don't think you can make such a decision without having raised it first

peachypips · 01/07/2013 12:59

I think you are all very weird! If it was my baby crying I'd be glad if someone fed it!

GobblersKnob · 01/07/2013 12:59

I would give her the three hours that she said she would be then if she still isn't answering her phone then I would certainly consider it.

If baby was bottle fed and op was asking if she should give him a bit of formula, no-one would bat an eyelid.

It's just food.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 01/07/2013 13:00

Would a finger in the mouth work? Does he just need to suck? He's very young to leave hungry and crying :(

MrButtercat · 01/07/2013 13:00

I'd be livid.

There could be drugs,toxins,medication,nicotine,alcohol let alone HIV or anything else in said bm.

It's up to parents to decide what is fed to their baby.Nice you want to help though.

BeanoNoir · 01/07/2013 13:00

I really wouldn't want anyone else to bf my baby. But I'd also leave expressed milk or make sure I was contactable and able to return quickly.

If someone had to bf my baby I'd rather they expressed their milk and fed from a cup, but I still would see it as an absolute last resort. Can you not contact your friend at all? If you can keep distracting baby or go out and walk them I'd do that tbh. 3 hours isn't likely to be life or death situation.

I don't know why I feel that way but the more I think about it the more I'd be upset if someone else bf my baby (34+5 and hormonal)

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 01/07/2013 13:00

Good decision, OP Smile

CheungFun · 01/07/2013 13:01

Sounds grim, I feel for you as it would seem the obvious solution for you to bf him, and it's distressing for you to see the baby upset as well, but I would just stick to walking him outside in the garden or something!

Hopefully next time your friend can leave some expressed milk instead.

threefeethighandrising · 01/07/2013 13:01

Personally I'd be very tempted to feed the baby, I'd find it hard not to.

I know am not Hep or HIV +ve as tested while pregnant.

Why has she left a BF baby for so long? He was bound to get distressed.

HeySoulSister · 01/07/2013 13:01

Aw he will smell your milk on you.... Make him more stressed?

libertine73 · 01/07/2013 13:01

He may just be missing his Mum if he normally goes 3 hours, why isn't she answering her phone though? That would piss me off in itself.

Floggingmolly · 01/07/2013 13:01

Why did she leave an exclusively breast fed baby for three hours? Where is she? Confused Give him a bottle of water.

dyslexicdespot · 01/07/2013 13:02

As a few others have pointed out, HIV is transmitted through breast milk. You might think that you are HIV negative, but so do the vast majority of people who find out that they are not.

Breast feeding someone else's baby without permission is not OK for this reason alone.

MakeGlutenFreeHay · 01/07/2013 13:03

I probably wouldn't without consent, but if it was my 3 month old ebf baby I'd personally much rather a friend bf him than gave him a banana to suck! Fgs.

LookingForwardToMarch · 01/07/2013 13:03

If my baby was upset and hungry I would want someone to feed them.

But then I also wouldn't leave my baby without some form of food (expressed or formula) if i was going out for more than an hour

threefeethighandrising · 01/07/2013 13:03

Why do the mothers (unknown) wishes trump the baby's when she's left him with no milk and is uncontactable?

Wet nursing used to be normal practice.

YoniMatopoeia · 01/07/2013 13:04

Why would a mum leave a baby of three months with someone and not leave milk for them?

I just don't understand that at all.

StealthPolarBear · 01/07/2013 13:05

I wouldn't do it without discussing it with the mum first. Why has she left an ebf baby for so long without a feed (presumably)

TheToysAreALIVEITellThee · 01/07/2013 13:05

Id question my friends boundaries if she had bf my baby. I loved it so much it would have ruined it for me I think to know someone else had bf him

BeanoNoir · 01/07/2013 13:05

Tbh reading my post back I'd rather my baby got fed a small amount of formula than someone else's expressed milk. I thought your milk was specifically tailored for your baby?

BeanoNoir · 01/07/2013 13:05

Tbh reading my post back I'd rather my baby got fed a small amount of formula than someone else's expressed milk. I thought your milk was specifically tailored for your baby?

MakeGlutenFreeHay · 01/07/2013 13:05

With regards to the intimate nature of it, without permission to bf, I'd probably express a bit onto a spoon and feed him some of that.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 01/07/2013 13:06

It wouldn't bother me in the least for a friend to bf my baby if I'd left him for that long without any other form of sustenance. Actually, I do recall ds2 being about 5 months old and staying overnight with a friend (long story) and when nothing else settled him, my friend bf'd him and he went straight to sleep. Never bothered me in the least.

I do naturally recognise that everyone is different and where it didn't and wouldn't bother me, many women would be horrified. I would err on the side of caution and wait until you can get old of his mum. If she's ok with it, go ahead. I hope it calms the poor little mite down.

dyslexicdespot · 01/07/2013 13:06

I just wanted to clarify that even if you have been tested for HIV during pregnancy, unless you have completely avoided engaging in any activities that could transmit the virus ( such as having sex with your DH/P), you cannot be 100 percent certain that you are not HIV positive.