Wibu to breastfeed my friends baby?

[thepigflu]

So he's been crying for 45 minutes, my friend has only been away for 2 and a half hours, she said she'd be about 3hours but she's not answering her phone. I've tried everything but he's so distressed, twisting his head around searching for a feed. I'm not sure how my friend would take it but I'm thinking I'll just feed him, is that wrong?

I agree that the situation may be unlikely, but in principle I'd rather my baby was soothed by any means available if it happened to me. Ffs, bfing is not the same as 'getting off with'. It's not like being unfaithful!

Goodness me, so apparently the op and the mother have disappeared.

In this position I would:

Ring someone else (baby's father/grandparent?) to agree a plan.This may include offer boiled water or formula. This baby may be in pain from hunger.

Actually I am somewhat surprised that a ex bf baby was left for 3 hours with no alternative plan re milk. Where is the mother, was it a medical emergency or something? Try the landline to where she is and be persistent. If she is at a hospital or similar ring and stress it is an emergency

Why did you takethe baby for threehours without asking for milk too?

I would bf a friend's if absolutely necessary but not without consent.

Someone mentioned up thread about bm containing possible toxins. Most toxins found in bm are unharmful and easily excreted by a healthy bf baby.

Formula contains a host of toxins most of which build up and are difficult to excrete even in minute quantity.

But op ur friend should have left a bottle of bm or formula. Don't bf baby. I wouldn't like it if someone bf my baby tbh. I would prefer a bottle of formula to be given.

I wonder if the baby has been passed on like a baton to another breastfeeding mum ?

*friend's baby

So many typos/grammar errors I don't even know where to start. I do love this site though for making me challenge and reassess my initial ideas/reactions.

Yabu

Ridiculous of her to have left him so long if he is ebf. If he was formula fed and the OP posted "should I go to tesco and get a carton of formula" we'd all be saying yes of course you can't let a newborn go hungry.

I can understand why people are uncomfortable with the idea but don't piss off and be uncontactable when you've left you any without food.

just feed the bloody baby already.

Its food, its not pollution

Threefeet, I dont give a shiny shite what you think so CBA to tell you my reason why i THINK it would have spoilt it for me

Okay I CANNOT believe people are saying it would be fine to give formula under these conditions...

In an exclusively BF baby, cows milk counts as a new food and you should be taking precautions against serious allergic reactions.

Never give a baby < 6 months a new food without the parents consent/knowledge, and that really does include formula.

people act like breastfeeding someones baby is akin to having sex with their husband ffs.

why even ask, weird

I know breastfed babies don't need water but that's if breastmilk is available on demand - this baby is demanding (maybe through hunger, tiredness or for comfort) and despite the want of trying from the OP it's needs are being ignored..don't know whereabouts you are OP but where I am it's a pretty hot day and my 8 month old is after much more milk than usual because it's a drink as well - to leave a 3 month old for 3 hours with no food or water is pretty inexcusable imo. I'd be offering water at the very least and I say that as someone who even now only does this when it's absolutely impossible to offer a feed. I really hope your friend (and her breasts which will probably be making more milk in this heat) gets back soon. that poor baby and poor you (and your lo presumably) not being 'able' to give it what it needs because you might offend. very tricky situation indeed

Maybe the OP can't bf and type at the same time.

Threefeet, I agree it's a difficult position op has been left in. Non the less, she agreed to take the baby for 3 hours without making any feeding plans with the mother. It may well be the baby normally goes 3 hours between feeds (not that unusual at 3 months, baby isn't 3 days) and so it wasn't anticipated as an issue by either.

I would also add that if the op did feed the baby without consent, and did infect the baby with something, there could easily be legal consequences.

And for those comparing to milk banks, it is not the same. I have no issues with babies being fed donated milk. Because it has been screened, and the mother given consent

Troll hunting much?

Is this really so out there that it's unimaginable?

I don't know feegle. My two never went more than about an hour between feeds even at 3 months, so I never went anywhere or left them with anyone.

But if I had, I would have left some instructions, expressed milk etc.

It is that which tests the boundaries for me. How many mothers of ebf babies give so little thought to them at 3 months?

I for one am hoping that the parents who are so concerned about bf someone else's child due to the risk of infection have been thoroughly tested for all infectious diseases each time they have any sexual contact with their partners, use a toothbrush which has been in a publicly accessible area, had any kind of medical treatment which could involve infection risk or administered any first aid to anyone who wasn't carrying a test certificate dated that day before feeding their own children... I mean imagine how bad you would feel if you infected your own baby with HIV .

When your friend gets back she will be full of milk and will need to feed the baby. If you are going to offer breast milk I would just do a short feed for that reason. I wouldn't mind if a friend fed my baby but they wouldn't have been left in your position in the first place.

Just wanted to point out again that there is more chance of an allergic reaction to formula than to another persons BM.

For what it's worth I would give water before BM before formula...but in reality if the friend was gone so long that anything more than water was actually needed to keep the baby safe I would have long since contacted the authorities.

I would want you to feed if it were my baby. What do you think the baby would want? The child is more important than the parents here and if baby is stressed, hungry and frightened and you know your milk is safe and clean then do it.

"I would also add that if the op did feed the baby without consent, and did infect the baby with something, there could easily be legal consequences.

And for those comparing to milk banks, it is not the same."

I didn't. If you read what I wrote, you'll see I was talking about the milk being "tailored" to the individual baby.
And if the OP allow s the baby to become dangerously dehydrated there will also be legal consequcnes. I'd be giving water or formula very soon, as I hope the OP is.