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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Wibu to breastfeed my friends baby?

303 replies

thepigflu · 01/07/2013 12:51

So he's been crying for 45 minutes, my friend has only been away for 2 and a half hours, she said she'd be about 3hours but she's not answering her phone. I've tried everything but he's so distressed, twisting his head around searching for a feed. I'm not sure how my friend would take it but I'm thinking I'll just feed him, is that wrong?

OP posts:
Tweasels · 01/07/2013 13:15

Best thread ever for all the wrong reasons.

MakeGlutenFreeHay · 01/07/2013 13:15

Libertine, apparently you posted after the OP. and the OP would suggest a younger child - twisting the head etc. fgs.

Branleuse · 01/07/2013 13:15

I think to go off that long without leaving any milk for him, shes probably assuming you will feed him, since youre breastfeeding too

PopiusTartius · 01/07/2013 13:16

"I'm with the poster who said she can't believe the preferences of the mother are taking precedence over the needs of a hungry, distressed baby who hasn't been fed in three hours."

Yep, me too. If the Mother hasn't a) left any milk or b) isn't answering her phone there's no way I could leave a screaming hungry little one without anything. Sad

BeanoNoir · 01/07/2013 13:16

I know but it's quite fun to see gut reactions to a hypothetical situation anyway Smile

Tweasels · 01/07/2013 13:17

If babies couldn't have other people's milk, milk banks wouldn't exist.

But OMG, don't feed the starving baby, you've probably got AIDS!

hilarious.

StealthPolarBear · 01/07/2013 13:17

Beano, donated BM is used for premature babies. It is many many times better than formula despite being made for other (older) babies. I do know what you mean but I did just want to challenge it.

SconeInSixtySeconds · 01/07/2013 13:18

Now that is a crappy 'friend'. Imagine leaving not only your exclusively bf'ed baby for three hours with no sustenance or contact, but with a friend whose baby is also young enough that it is bf'ing.

If I were the op I would be extremely Angry

FeegleFion · 01/07/2013 13:18

Have you managed to reach you friend yet OP? How is the baby?

maddening · 01/07/2013 13:18

What did the mother leave with you to feed fhe baby with/iinstructions?

StealthPolarBear · 01/07/2013 13:19

lol Scone. It beggars belief, doesn't it.
Quite literally :)

Onetwo34 · 01/07/2013 13:19

Loads of babies have had my milk.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 01/07/2013 13:19

But OMG, don't feed the starving baby, you've probably got AIDS!

hilarious.

Grin
libertine73 · 01/07/2013 13:19

If for some unknown reason Hmm I had left my baby with no food and my good friend was able, I'd be grateful she breastfed my baby.

OP? You still with us?!

PeteCampbellsRecedingHairline · 01/07/2013 13:20

I would try water and formula before breast feeding. Only because you don't have the mother's consent.

Hypothetically of course.Wink

SconeInSixtySeconds · 01/07/2013 13:20

Yup. I would be stunned.

(Scottish summer hols have started haven't they? A propos of nothing of course)

StealthPolarBear · 01/07/2013 13:22

mm interesting. Ours aren't for another 3 weeks. Anyway, back to the thread...

UniqueAndAmazing · 01/07/2013 13:22

what if the mum has had an accident or something and that's why she's not back?

regardless - in this situation, the only rules are:
1 never feed a baby anything at all without the express permission/instruction of the parent
2 this includes water in a baby

Justfornowitwilldo · 01/07/2013 13:24

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SconeInSixtySeconds · 01/07/2013 13:25

The accident would be the only answer that didn't have me erasing her from my contacts list tbh.

After all at what point do you think fuckit I have to feed this baby something? 4 hours? More?

threefeethighandrising · 01/07/2013 13:26

"1 never feed a baby anything at all without the express permission/instruction of the parent"

For how long?! What about if the parent is away for an irresponsibly long period of time? Or has been in an accident / stuck in a lift / whatever.

I would much rather someone BF my baby if distressed than left her screaming and increasingly distressed.

BinkyBinkleBinkster · 01/07/2013 13:26

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juneybean · 01/07/2013 13:26

Presumably she doesn't have the mothers consent to give formula either.

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper · 01/07/2013 13:26

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BeanoNoir · 01/07/2013 13:26

Stealth I didn't even connect that to this thread, which is silly because my dh was very ill as a baby and my mil expressed milk to give to the hospital. Presumably it wouldn't have only gone to her son, and he would have received other women's bm too. I have heard how important it is for very early and poorly babies to receive donated breastmilk, so actually thanks to your reminder I'm thinking a bit more intelligently about this, rather than just relying on my initial reaction. You're right.

I think this mother should have made arrangements for what to do if her baby needed a feed before she got back - it's not uncommon to need milk more than once in 3 hours.

I would feel strange ifs friend bf my baby, but then I should feel grateful to her if I'd not left her with another option. And if I am ever experience a premature or poorly baby that I am unable to feed myself then I would like to be happy for my child to receive someone else's breastmilk. The women who do donate must make such a difference to these babies and their parents.