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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The daughter I knew is dead - what a thing say!

280 replies

Animation · 22/06/2013 14:39

Can't help but think that the mother's words and attitude to her daughter, and apparently they don't speak, could be as damaging as Jeremy Forrest's behaviour towards her.
Am I unreasonable in thinking this??

OP posts:
Justforlaughs · 22/06/2013 14:41

I thought the same thing animation, I also think that the mother obviously didn't knopw her daughter at all anyway. It isn't as if she was taken against her will.

StuffezLaYoni · 22/06/2013 14:41

I agree, don't know what she was thinking saying that. If they're estranged already, how's that going to help matters?

5madthings · 22/06/2013 14:44

I think she was trying to express how she feels and the damage this man has done.

I also dont think picking at the actions of her mum, her or her family is going to help this girl. Its all a horrible situation.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 22/06/2013 14:47

The context of her is completely different from what you are implying.

I can't do links on here, but her statement is on the Torygraph website

burberryqueen · 22/06/2013 14:47

it is an incredibly hurtful thing to say - perhaps their relationship was not good in the first place, who knows, bringing up teenagers is a bloody minefield.

Littleturkish · 22/06/2013 14:48

Missed this- was this the evidence she gave in court?

Just awful. Poor girl.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 22/06/2013 14:48

That was meant to read: the context of what she said...

LittlePeaPod · 22/06/2013 14:51

What was the whole statement so we can comment when we understand the context... Without it then yes YABVU to not allow us to see whole context of statement...

NoobyNoob · 22/06/2013 14:51

Lets not forget that this girl was also more than capable of calling to let her family know where she was - that she was even alive.

The daughter also blames her mum for everything. I think what the mum was saying is that the daughter she once knew isn't there anymore, and is replaced by someone who she barely recognises.

crashdoll · 22/06/2013 14:52

Even in context, I still think it was a horrible thing to say.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 22/06/2013 14:53

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/10135252/Jeremy-Forrest-victims-mother-says-daughter-she-knew-is-dead.html

This is the statement. It's an unfortunate turn of phrase, but as you see, the mother blames herself

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 22/06/2013 14:55

The context is that this pathetic inadequate man manipulated this girl.

Let's reserve the most anger for him

crashdoll · 22/06/2013 14:59

Just because I think it was a nasty thing to say does not negate how disgustingly the teacher behaved.

LittlePeaPod · 22/06/2013 15:00

I feel sorry for the girl, her mother / family and his wife.. As for him (the predator) he deserves every day of that sentence... Lets hope he enjoys the break in the same way all child sex offenders enjoy time in prison!! I dont know anyone that's in prison or anyone that has ever been in prison but I hear its not pleasant sex offenders...

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 22/06/2013 15:01

Crashdoll

Have you read the statement?

NoobyNoob · 22/06/2013 15:02

Whilst I'm not advocating what that knob did was right what so ever, surely the girl has to take some of the blame?

Idrinksquash · 22/06/2013 15:02

The mother knew the daughter was involved with this man before she was taken to France, and didn't do a thing about it.

She then went on TV pleading total ignorance and bad mouthing the school who had actually followed all the correct procedures as soon as they suspected anything was going on.

IMO this girl was let down by all of the adults in her life.

NoobyNoob · 22/06/2013 15:03

Totally agree Idrinksquash

Meglet · 22/06/2013 15:04

I thought it was an odd thing to say too Confused.

5madthings · 22/06/2013 15:05

No nooby she doesnt!! Fgs go read some of the other threads and educate yourself a bit. This man manipulated a vulnerable girl. She is not to blame at all.

cornyblend37 · 22/06/2013 15:06

you are taking her comments out of context
what a horrible thread

Justforlaughs · 22/06/2013 15:06

I haven't read the statement by the mother, but the phrase was the headline in one of the papers at the supermarket this morning - I just thought "How sad"
I also wondered why the mother felt that way. To be honest, most parents of teenagers feel that way at times, even when the circumstances aren't as drastic as here. I often look at my 15 year old and think "where did you come from?"

NoobyNoob · 22/06/2013 15:07

Woah there - Don't get your knickers in a twist 5madthings

And yes, I have been reading the news - not the threads. She was nearly 16 years old, she was hardly dragged there kicking and screaming now was she?

So my opinion is that she is also to blame.

5madthings · 22/06/2013 15:08

Er no the school didnt follow correct procedures. They had warned him repeatedly but not involved the police, child protection etc and he himself phoned up her mother and saud there was no relationship and blamed the girl for spreading rumours and trying to ruin his career.

He was and is a manipulative bastard and police aee now investigating if perjury was committed as he is thought to have contacted the girl via a third party and told her what to say in court.

NoobyNoob · 22/06/2013 15:08

Anyway, I digress from the original thread and I'm not getting into it here.