The daughter I knew is dead - what a thing say!

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Can't help but think that the mother's words and attitude to her daughter, and apparently they don't speak, could be as damaging as Jeremy Forrest's behaviour towards her.
Am I unreasonable in thinking this??

There is that chicaguapa - I was trying to make the point (perhaps clumsily and not very successfully) that to treat either family like that would be unfair.

Mrs DV you sadly are right in one way, but it's such a minority view I still don't see how he's never been well for want of a better word, exposed for what he is.

I've just done a quick count. All but two of dds form mates are still virgins. They are all 16, all will be in Sixth form in December. I do not believe that half of all 15 year olds are having sex. And so what if they are. They're probably having sex with their peers, not their bloody teachers!

If people are determined to attack relatives, why not look at Forrest's? His family are 'standing by him'.

Enough of this victim blaming crap.

Quite edam. I'm saying it's unfair to attack either family but he wasn't raised by wolves, was he?

Must admit I am wondering why they are all defending him. I've also read that they are encouraging the relationship.

Perhaps there should be more focus on them.

Back in the 80's I had a conversation in the staffroom with 2 male teachers who were discussing their feelings for a 15 yr old pupil. This was a 15 yr old who looked and behaved like an 18 yr old. Both admitted they fancied her and were bemused by it because she was underage and it was therefore obviously wrong.

Neither would have taken it any further and both made sure they were never alone with her. To my mind, they were not paedophiles. They were reacting biologically to a girl who behaved like a woman.

This is in no way to excuse Forrest. What he did was inexcusable. Just that I think, if we are having an honest discussion, we should acknowledge that branding everyone who is attracted to a young girl as a paedophile and a pervert is misleading and inaccurate.

I hate it when someone says "Oh they're all at it", as if that makes it ok for someone to abuse a teenager.

It is STILL illegal and it does NOT excuse the grooming of a vulnerable child for sex.

Forrest can look after himself - with or without his family. This girl needs her parents - are they there for her or not. It would seem the mother isn't right now.

Thymeout he was attracted to her when she was 13.
He was also attracted to other 13 year olds.
He seduced her, not the other way round. He actively encouraged a relationship.

We are not branding everyone who has feelings for a young girl as a pervert. We are merely branding those who act upon it.

I don't mean to imply it's a valid relationship btw. Wrong use of words.

It would seem Forrest has, quite possibly, succeeded in alienating her from her Mother. Amongst his other crimes.

I wonder whether the 'mutual friend' the police are investigating is one of Forrest's family members... Certainly think the social workers involved in this case should be having very stern words with the Forrest family about staying away from the poor girl.

Edam - is the girl living with the 'mutual friend' who might be a Forrest family member??

Yes, abusers are good at isolating their victims from sources of support, and if she didn't have a good relationship with her mother he will have exploited that.

I thought the girl was now living with her stepfather?

I know a married couple who met when she was 13, and his pupil, and he was about 26 - so the same situation initially as in this case.

The difference is that while she was his pupil absolutely nothing happened between them. In fact she was a couple of years out of school before anything romantic started. Because unlike Forrest, my friend is a civilised human being.

Most girls have a crush on a teacher at some point - a young male teacher who is even remotely attractive or cool is an obvious target for that crush. But 99 times out of 100 (at least) that's all it is, and it fizzles out as she grows up. It is up to the teacher to deflect any inappropriate affection, attachment or advances. Every teacher knows this.

The message I want to give my children (hell, the whole world) is that if they are your true love they will wait; and if they won't wait then they aren't your true love.

Hack thank the beuatiful lord that someone gets where I'm coming from!

Lola I suggested it because I wanted it, shocking isn't it?

I have to go now to meet my husband, in total denial obviously :)

Rhubarb, Onesleep said, 'What sort of a man in his mid-20's wants to sleep with a girl below the age of consent? That's disgusting.' Even wanting to. I'm pointing out that I think the instinct would be there in quite a few men if they met the girl, say, in a club. As I said, my colleagues were troubled because even though they knew the girl's age they still found her attractive.

And I may have got it wrong but I think the relationship began when she was 14 and a half on the L.A. trip?

Thyme 14 and a half...so that makes a difference does it somehow? And that men work on instinct do they?
What are you fumbling for here?

Nooby you keep on thinking that my lovely if it helps. I am sure it disturbs plenty of others

I hope the time he is in prison will enable the pupil to mature and realise that the relationship is unhealthy.
I think he manipulated her and continues to do so. The recent claims that he tried with other pupils, indicates that he doesn't really 'love' her, he just was more successful in his attempts.
He was in a position of trust and abused that. He allowed her to lie to her mother, to leave the country, without anyone knowing where they were or if they were safe.
Even if they really do 'love' each other and have a future together, it was a horrible thing to do to her mother. It would be my worse nightmare come true.
I have full sympathy for her mother, and for his poor wife. I have zero sympathy for the girl, her behaviour even now is appalling.
He is the type to do it again.

"We seem to be operating some kind of double standard where we think girls are emotionally mature enough to have sex at 15, but if they are doing so with an older man then suddenly they are mentally and emotionally incapable of giving consent."

I think you are are missing the point here hackmum - the age of consent is a bit of a red herring.

He was in a position of trust over a vulnerable young girl and he used that position of trust to exploit her for his own ends...and it looks like he's still doing it.

I use the word vulnerable advisedly there. A young person who self harms and has an eating disorder is most certainly vulnerable. What she needed was unconditional support and love. If he cared about her so much, that's what he would provided.

yeh he has the face of a pervert IMO

What about JF's wife? I hope she has divorced or is in the process of divorcing the weirdo.

I might have made this up, because I can't remember where I read it, but I was under the impression that the girl had moved out of the family home because she blamed her mother for how it had all turned out.

It doesn't sound like the estrangement is on the side of the mother, but the daughter who is projecting her anger onto her mother.

I don't suppose we will ever know, but either way it's a very sad story - lots of lives ruined by one persons actions.
I hope that when the daughter is a bit older/less emotional about it all that the mother & daughter can repair their relationship.

Thymeout yes, I can see that scenario, but a man (or woman) in their mid 20's who KNOWINGLY SLEEPS with a 15 year old has something missing. However much the child 'wants it'. Fancying someone is not the same as acting on it, knowing it's wrong.