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AIBU?

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Original poster

The daughter I knew is dead - what a thing say!

280 replies

Animation · 22/06/2013 14:39

Can't help but think that the mother's words and attitude to her daughter, and apparently they don't speak, could be as damaging as Jeremy Forrest's behaviour towards her.
Am I unreasonable in thinking this??

OP posts:
5madthings · 22/06/2013 15:09

He started a relationship with her when she was 14, it doesnt matter that she was kicking and screaming she was manipukated by an authority figure fgs.

SingingSilver · 22/06/2013 15:09

noobyNoob Have you heard of the term grooming?

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 22/06/2013 15:10

Nah

Imdon't want to get into it either

Crashdoll. Sorry, i didn't mean to have a go at you

expatinscotland · 22/06/2013 15:10

I thought the same thing. But my daughter really is. I can promise her, there's the world of difference.

MrsDeVere · 22/06/2013 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoobyNoob · 22/06/2013 15:12

Yes I have singingsilver

Have you ever heard the phrase 'it takes two to tango'?

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 22/06/2013 15:14

Nooby

You are either deliberatley goading or need to educate yourself a bit

Onesleeptillwembley · 22/06/2013 15:16

It doesn't seem like the mother in question ever knew or cared to know her daughter. There has been an epic parenting fail. The poor girl has been let down left, right and centre.

expatinscotland · 22/06/2013 15:16

I read the statement, too, and thought that phrase was still ill-thought-out at the least.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 22/06/2013 15:16

I thought she was mourning the 'death' of the person that the girl would have been, the life she would have had, and the relationship she could have had with her dd, had this evil man not have manipulated her dd into a 'relationship'.

bico · 22/06/2013 15:17

I assume there is more to this girl's background than has been made public for the mother to say something so hurtful about her daughter.

I haven't read the article but I understand the phrase was written in what is supposed to be the victim impact statement. The girl is the victim here not her mother but maybe her mother wrote the statement because the girl refused to do so?

expatinscotland · 22/06/2013 15:17

It does appear, too, that this young woman was let down by a lot of adults, on top of being sexually abused by the teacher.

5madthings · 22/06/2013 15:17

Omfg nooby she was a vulnerable child and he was an adult in the position of responsibility,there shoukd be no 'tangoing' ever as he shouldnt allow himself to get into that situation!! I suspect you are the kind of person that thinks some girls were 'asking for it' when they are raped.

Quit with the victim blaming!!

MadBusLady · 22/06/2013 15:19

Having read the whole of the link Jamie posted, I think there's much that is ambiguous about the mother's position, probably much context we do not know. And regardless it is still a very unpleasant choice of words.

Dawndonna · 22/06/2013 15:19

Woah there - Don't get your knickers in a twist 5madthings

And yes, I have been reading the news - not the threads. She was nearly 16 years old, she was hardly dragged there kicking and screaming now was she?

So my opinion is that she is also to blame.
So you think that a 14 year old, vulnerable, self harming, with eating disorders is capable of making this sort of decision?
You're not bothered that he tried to groom others before this? Nothing to do with him being a predatory teacher who is not, by law allowed to have a relationship with a pupil, much less a pupil under the age of 18?

Idrinksquash · 22/06/2013 15:19

And what made you privvy to that info then 5madthings?

Helpyourself · 22/06/2013 15:21

Nooby have you heard of the age of consent?
Resisting the urge to look you up- some people should have to pass an exam before they're allowed children. I just hope you do a lot of growing up before your dcs can understand your warped thick world view.

crashdoll · 22/06/2013 15:21

I did read the statement. I say I think it was nasty because I also read that the girl in question suffered with self-harming and low mood previously. She is vulnerable because of this, in addition to her age and now being in the public eye.

squeakytoy · 22/06/2013 15:25

it is in the press for anyone to read..

MrsDeVere · 22/06/2013 15:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5madthings · 22/06/2013 15:26

Privacy to what info? Watch the news and read, there is an investigation by the police.

Original poster
Animation · 22/06/2013 15:27

The statement from the mother and the estrangement does not reassure me that the daughter is as well supported as I had hoped.

The statement feels critical of the daughter and it focuses on the mother's ordeal rather than on the daughter's struggles. The daughter is the victim not the mother and yes, Jeremy Forrest is the perpetrator but the mother irritates me.

OP posts:
JamieandtheMagicTorch · 22/06/2013 15:27

MrsDV

Yes, and it's probably Political Correctness Gorn Mad as well

NoobyNoob · 22/06/2013 15:28

I love how I'm jumped on for having a different opinion! It really is pathetic.

I suspect you are the kind of person that thinks some girls were 'asking for it' when they are raped this comment from you 5madthing is fucking disgusting. Of course I don't, and if you knew me you certainly wouldn't think that.

5madthings · 22/06/2013 15:29

Well you are willing to lay the blame on a young vulnerable girl who has been manipulated and abused. Ffsryou said 'it takes two to tango' it is the same argument used by rape apologists.