AIBU about DS and wedding invite?

[Dontlookattheknees]

A old high school friend of mine is getting married. In school we had been very good friends but have drifted apart (we were in a group of about 8. 4 of us are still best friends but all 8 of us still talk and see each other)
All 7 in this group have been invited to the wedding and were all excited (we want to go out and buy saris to wear)
She is the first to get married out of this group. 
When my invite came it didn't include DS which I was a bit shocked at because it is a massive wedding with lots of kids (a big Bengali bash) but I figured they had to draw the line somewhere so chose not to invite friends kids (I'm the only one out of the 8 to have a DC) It doesn't bother me.
I bumped into her today in town and she said she got my RSVP and I was asking how plans were going.
She said that she hoped I understood why DS wasn't invited
I told her that it was fine that kids weren't invited and it would be nice to have a night out (I'm a single parent) 
She was pleased I understood that it would be difficult to have DS there but I should know that kids will be there at the wedding
I must have looked puzzled because she carried on that because DS doesn't have a father, and that it would upset a lot of guests if a kid "like that" was at the wedding, so she and her FI decided that it would be best if my DS wasn't invited as having him at the wedding wasn't really appropriate

I was stunned, I ended up making my excuses

But that's not on is it?
(I know it's her day and all that crap) but it isn't the 1813 so AIBU to think she is being unreasonable and ridiculous?

[StuntGirl]

Sweet jesus, what decade did she step out of?

I wouldn't be going, and I would tell her exactly why. What a set of dicks she and her future husband are.

[KneeDeepInDaisies]

OP that's awful. You must be so shocked.

I personally wouldn't go to her wedding. I don't know if I would tell her why but I think if you will tell mutual friends then you should tell her.

Keep it dignified and then distance yourself as much as you can.

Oh and she is a massive judgey bitch!

[TSSDNCOP]

The point at which she said a "Kid like that" would have been the point I stopped being friends with her.

Sod her wedding, her, her FI and the horse they rode in on.

[Dontlookattheknees]

Oh thank god I wasn't just being precious.

You might all be right about decline and not having anything else to do with her (Shame after 14 years but there we go) and guess I will have to tell the other friends

[Isityouorme]

Bloody hell, that's appalling. Please don't go and tell her why.

[CombineBananaFister]

I think it's absolutely ridiculous and YADNBU and if its a religion/culture thing that a child (out of wedlock? just guessing?) is offensive then you can equally say as friend that you are offended that your Ds would be treated in such a way.
Keep it dignified though, if you value the friendship and bare in mind she MAY be under a lot of pressure from older family members and not want conflict on the day.

[ChippingInWiredOnCoffee]

WTAF???

OMG - I cannot believe she thinks like that.

Is she very under the thumb of her family?

[FutTheShuckUp]

She's no friend. Thats disgraceful.

[TheBirdsFellDownToDingADong]

Blimey. You and your son go out and have a fabulous day together on the day of the wedding.

[gatsby79]

When I read this topic I thought I was going to disagree because I assumed you were going to say no children were invited. I can't BELIEVE it was only your son not invited! Never ever speak to this woman again! Nothing about what she has said is reasonable!

[BegoniaBampot]

Is this quite normal and acceptable behaviour then amongst her family and friends?

[iwantanafternoonnap]

No way would I be going to that wedding and she would not be my friend anymore.

Poor you x

[CSIJanner]

That is a disgusting thing to even think let alone say. Drop her. Drop her like the cold hearted stone bitch she is.

As Szeli says - let karma bite her on the arse.

[IWillDoItInAMinute]

How horrible...agree with ^^

You spend that day with your lovely DS doing something you both love

[Figgygal]

Wow that is low definitely decline and tell everyone why? Outrageous!!

What if u were a widow? What if his dad was busy and unable to attend, away in the forces?????

[apostropheuse]

OH dear God I am truly flabbergasted that attitude still exists in 2013. Please don't go to that wedding. She is totally out of order. How bloody dare she?

Oh and incidentally of course your child has a father, unless your son is the result of a virgin birth.

On the day of the wedding take you and your beautiful son off for the day and treat yourselves.

Oh and if it's a religious thing then surely she should be thinking that every child is a gift from God? No matter how they were conceived. That's certainly what is taught in my Church.

[EverybodysStressyEyed]

I can understand that some traditional older people may disapprove of illegitimacy but unless she was going to put a sign on your sons head how the hell would they know? It is an extremely outdated opinion.

it does seem that that it is an issue for her - has she ever intimated this before? have you found her odd around your ds?

could it be her fiance who is warping her?

i don't think i've ever heard anything so shocking wrt either weddings or friends.

As she has spelt it out to you I do think you have no other option than to withdraw and tell her why.

[ChaoticTranquility]

Just when I thought I'd heard it all...

YANBU Don't go to the wedding and tell your friends why.

[Dontlookattheknees]

Everybodys no I wouldn't say she has been 'odd' around DS. (she is generally distance around kids but all kids and always has been) but she has always been nice to him and not 'odd'
Her FI always struck me as an alright bloke - granted I have just met him twice (she has known him for 6 mnths -arranged marriage)

[crunchbag]

That is horrible OP

It makes you wonder how your 'friend' really feels about you.

And how would people know that your are a single mum anyway.

[PointlessPost]

WHAAAAAAAAT !


Maybe, if you were being very charitable,you could email her and ask her to confirm what she meant. It would give her an opportunity to have a rethink and comeback to you with the biggest apology ever. If she confirms that she meant what she said then you know what you have to do

I would let your other friends know.

[EverybodysStressyEyed]

I would speak to one of your other friends. This will reassure you that it is odd and even people who know her think it's odd! It will also give you moral support when you choose to deal with it.


And I agree with the above - take your ds out and have a really fun day

[NicknameIncomplete]

I would definately decline and let the other friends know.

I would not want to be friends with someone who thought so little of myself and my child.