AIBU about DS and wedding invite?

[Dontlookattheknees]

A old high school friend of mine is getting married. In school we had been very good friends but have drifted apart (we were in a group of about 8. 4 of us are still best friends but all 8 of us still talk and see each other)
All 7 in this group have been invited to the wedding and were all excited (we want to go out and buy saris to wear)
She is the first to get married out of this group. 
When my invite came it didn't include DS which I was a bit shocked at because it is a massive wedding with lots of kids (a big Bengali bash) but I figured they had to draw the line somewhere so chose not to invite friends kids (I'm the only one out of the 8 to have a DC) It doesn't bother me.
I bumped into her today in town and she said she got my RSVP and I was asking how plans were going.
She said that she hoped I understood why DS wasn't invited
I told her that it was fine that kids weren't invited and it would be nice to have a night out (I'm a single parent) 
She was pleased I understood that it would be difficult to have DS there but I should know that kids will be there at the wedding
I must have looked puzzled because she carried on that because DS doesn't have a father, and that it would upset a lot of guests if a kid "like that" was at the wedding, so she and her FI decided that it would be best if my DS wasn't invited as having him at the wedding wasn't really appropriate

I was stunned, I ended up making my excuses

But that's not on is it?
(I know it's her day and all that crap) but it isn't the 1813 so AIBU to think she is being unreasonable and ridiculous?

[pigletmania]

Exactly kwinkits, it does not matter about culture. The fact that she said the phrase 'a kid like tat' speaks volumes about what she really thinks of you and your situation.

[pigletmania]

I could not be friends with someone who look down on me, op friend may on the surface be inclusive and excepting, but deep down she holds those feelings, sorry clouds I don't agree one bit. I could not be at a wedding and look happy for someone who thought of me like that, and who looks down on me. In fact tey would not be my friend anymore!

[pigletmania]

And who saids those things about my child, Noway! Everytime we would meet up and sh would be Nicey nice to my son, I would know its all an act. Noboy talks about my Chidren in that way

[pigletmania]

In my eyes it is no different if she had said that there are Chidren at the wedding, just not your bastard son. Sorry if I've caused offence npbut for me thats how it would be

[Pixieonthemoor]

Breathtakingly awful. "A child like that"????? I am utterly speechless. Have you decided what to do OP? I know what I would be doing. I would write rescinding the positive RSVP, ending the friendship and saying heaven forfend that something should happen to your marriage/husband and you find yourself in the position of single parent. If they are genuinely offended by children being born out of wedlock then surely (sorry to be harsh here) they would not have invited you?! But I guess that would cause too much hoo-ha amongst your friend group so she just decided to be a vile bigot towards your son. I would also let all your friendship group know exactly what she said to you and then sit back and watch them all back out of the wedding too.

I am so so sorry that this has happened to you.

[Helltotheno]

would speak about a child of mine like that without me going absolutely APESHIT on their arse

Yeah you'd think, wouldn't you? I feel exactly the same. Constantly amazed though by the number of people prepared to put this sort of carry on from people they label friends, family etc before their own children.

OP hasn't been back which is usually an indicator that someone is going against the general advice... would like to be wrong though :)

[ohnoudidnt]

Im sorry,that must be so upsetting. How evil of this woman. I hope you are ok xx Im angry for you.

[dufflefluffle]

If you are going to refuse to go please please tell her - calmly and to the point - why not. It is a backward attitude.