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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to worry my daughter's becoming feral?

170 replies

fabergeegg · 09/06/2013 21:00

We have a golden retriever dog. She's perfectly trained (not a stealth boast as golden retrievers are very easy to work with).

I have a DD of 22 months and they're inseparable. Visitors think it's cute. But we don't get out much and I'm worried she's demonstrating dog behaviour without realising it's abnormal. She's not pretending to be a dog.

At the few mother and toddler groups we've attended, DD looks bewildered. If she's feeling brave, she tries two techniques, neither of which work with other kids very well. There's dominance - she'll slowly approach other children with an intense, unblinking stare, like a gang leader in a film. She doesn't smile or speak. Then there's teasing - I know she shouldn't. She offers something and whips it away, expecting the other child to make a lunge. (This is not what my dog is trained to do and she has never harmed DD. They know I don't allow it so they go off together and do it somewhere else). When DD's eating her biscuit, or feeling pally, she drops to her hunkers - this is usually where the dog's head would be. I can see her confusion when all she sees is other children's knees. Eventually she gives up and withdraws.

When she's trying to initiate play, she drops on her back and starts rolling around. She expects them to do the same. When we go out for a walk, she pants manically and runs around in circles. When she's eating, she'll often give the dog half, as a matter of course, even if it's chocolate. If she's forgotten to do this, she'll take a bit out of her mouth and hands it over then. Or she'll simply open her mouth and allow some food to fall onto the floor. She likes games when she has to retrieve things. Obviously I try to correct her on all this but it's not as if she's trying to play up.

Otherwise she's a normal kid. AIBU to be slightly worried?

OP posts:
TheSecondComing · 10/06/2013 10:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lollylaughs · 10/06/2013 10:18

We have a Labrador and dd and he are pretty inseparable. If it were another breed I wouldn't have believed it, but being a Retriever, I do...

I don't know who said that they are dim dogs - really they are one of the brightest breeds..

Just to add, when the dc's were younger I found them in the garden, ds had put the dog collar and lead around dd's neck and he was making her 'go for a walk' together (he had the dog and lead as well as his sister in a dog lead and collar..)

The 'stare' did make me laugh though Grin

fabergeegg · 10/06/2013 10:29

cjd my own small terror (should that be terrier) a few months back went through a stage of crawling and barking Grin Thanks.

feminine and lolly - Grin You couldn't make it up, could you.

:) 2nd coming - you almost had to. Just got my ability to post back.

OP posts:
Saidar · 10/06/2013 10:32

Maybe you should take your DD to see a professional ?

ComposHat · 10/06/2013 10:33

I say let the dog raise her completely! It will be a facinating anthropological/psycological study to see how she'll turn out.

passmetheprozac · 10/06/2013 10:49

That photo is adorable. Smile

Can you use it as an opportunity to learn about dogs and other animals? Or can you get her interested in other things, like books and games? So she doesn't spend quite so much time with the dog.

I'm 27 and roll around with my dogs, and I am an almost normal adult Grin

I think your dd will have a cracking career as a vet!

AmberSocks · 10/06/2013 11:18

Fakebook get a grip.

OP this ahs made me really want a dog!One day,dh doesnt like them and i already have 2 cats,oh and 5 kids!

that pic is gorgeous!

spiderlight · 10/06/2013 11:48

I have some classic photos of my DS when he was about a year old, merrily crawling round my dad's garden lifting his leg against various plants. He had no idea what he was doing but he was clearly copying our dog! I'll stick one on my profile if I can find them.

34DD · 10/06/2013 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Canidae · 10/06/2013 12:44

I did this as a kid although I had no dog of my own until I was older. I clearly remember rolling on my back in the grass with a neighbour's labrador and copying the collie 'stare' from watching sheepherding. Dogs made me feel happy and still do. My 2yr nephew has started seeing my dogs more and loves to copy the panting noises.

Your DD won't still be doing this for long as she grows up and learns her speech will work better with people than dogs. She will have interests that are more fun with other children and her behaviour will change with this. If she is anything like I was then she will come home from a great day at school and tell her dog all about it. Grin

Perihelion · 10/06/2013 15:00

When DD was 3, I found her in floods of tears in a weird position.....turns out she was upset that she couldn't lick her bum, like the dogs do.......

fabergeegg · 10/06/2013 16:37

Perihelion just when I thought it was impossible for this thread to get any funnier. Grin

Candidae, passme and spiderlight...thanks.

compost: That's secretly what I'd love to do. But won't, obviously :)

OP posts:
Roary1 · 10/06/2013 16:54

I think this thread is a wind up.

My son is 22 months and we have THREE dogs.

He has never exhibited any dog-like behaviours.

Brilliant thread though.

Loa · 10/06/2013 17:01

We have no dog or cat or any pets.

We had to endure nearly 18 months of our three taking it in turns to 'be' the dog/cat' with accompanying behavior - it started when our youngest was just coming up to 2 - eldest 5.

We assumed it was a poorly thought out sales pitch to us.

Loa · 10/06/2013 17:02

They are 'normal' now.

MammaTJ · 10/06/2013 17:24

My DS who is 6 went to a birthday party on Saturday and he insisted on playing musical not chairs hoops as Wolverine. He does speak and knows he isn't actually a wolf or a dog though. We have a dog, who he adores but he has never consistantly displayed dog like behaviours. He does pretend quite often though.

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell · 10/06/2013 19:59

You're a good sport OP Grin

The picture is really lovely.

fabergeegg · 10/06/2013 20:31

Thanks Alex :)

Just found DD standing beside the dog's bowl chewing a big nugget of dry dog food. Hadn't occurred to me she'd try it.

It's gone too far.

OP posts:
marzipanned · 10/06/2013 22:25

OP, worry not, I was obsessed with being a cat when I was little and ate their food several times. I'm now a normal adult (DH would argue crazy cat lady :) )

Your DD and your dog both look gorgeous. Well done you for not rising to some of the ludicrous insults on this thread. Fakebook - you should be ashamed.

NeverendingStoryteller · 11/06/2013 17:26

My friend was in a similar situation - it came to a head when her gorgeous daughter got down on all fours, in front of other parents and kids from the village, and drank water out of a puddle, just like the dog. Seriously! My friend got her little one enrolled in preschool quick smart and the phase passed.

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