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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to worry my daughter's becoming feral?

170 replies

fabergeegg · 09/06/2013 21:00

We have a golden retriever dog. She's perfectly trained (not a stealth boast as golden retrievers are very easy to work with).

I have a DD of 22 months and they're inseparable. Visitors think it's cute. But we don't get out much and I'm worried she's demonstrating dog behaviour without realising it's abnormal. She's not pretending to be a dog.

At the few mother and toddler groups we've attended, DD looks bewildered. If she's feeling brave, she tries two techniques, neither of which work with other kids very well. There's dominance - she'll slowly approach other children with an intense, unblinking stare, like a gang leader in a film. She doesn't smile or speak. Then there's teasing - I know she shouldn't. She offers something and whips it away, expecting the other child to make a lunge. (This is not what my dog is trained to do and she has never harmed DD. They know I don't allow it so they go off together and do it somewhere else). When DD's eating her biscuit, or feeling pally, she drops to her hunkers - this is usually where the dog's head would be. I can see her confusion when all she sees is other children's knees. Eventually she gives up and withdraws.

When she's trying to initiate play, she drops on her back and starts rolling around. She expects them to do the same. When we go out for a walk, she pants manically and runs around in circles. When she's eating, she'll often give the dog half, as a matter of course, even if it's chocolate. If she's forgotten to do this, she'll take a bit out of her mouth and hands it over then. Or she'll simply open her mouth and allow some food to fall onto the floor. She likes games when she has to retrieve things. Obviously I try to correct her on all this but it's not as if she's trying to play up.

Otherwise she's a normal kid. AIBU to be slightly worried?

OP posts:
marriedinwhiteagain · 09/06/2013 22:02

You know what I meant Brian woof Grin.

My dd's turning into a couch potato - got eyes and has them peeled on her laptop. She's also boiling at the moment. We're looking into counselling.

KingRollo · 09/06/2013 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmberSocks · 09/06/2013 22:06

sorry i laughed so much reading the op,its is very funny,and i think its quite sweet!

OP,dont worry about it,she will grow out of it,we ddnt really go out much when mine were all tiny either and they were a bit feral,and we didnt even have a dog!as she gets older and starts to have more and more time with other children she will grow out of it.They dont really "socialise" with other kids at this age anyway,they usually either play next to each other or be horrible to one another ime.

Picturepuncture · 09/06/2013 22:06

Oh come on Picture - get rid of the dog, just because the DD is copying it?

No, not at all. Copying it is totally normal toddler behaviour.

Disappearing off with it? Indicates the OP isn't coping with the care of both dog and child.

Being manipulated into doing it's random mischievous bidding? Disturbing.

Being unable to socialise with other toddlers because she's exhibiting dog social behaviour all the time instead? Really weird.

all those things together- that adds up to getting rid of the dog.

It is after all a dog. An animal. A pet. Make sure it goes to a good home OP, then get on with raising your human daughter.

fabergeegg · 09/06/2013 22:08

For crying out loud, how do I make my profile page public?

OP posts:
hurricanewyn · 09/06/2013 22:09

What is the picture of?

SPsCliffingAllOverMN · 09/06/2013 22:09

Is the dog a toy?

GladbagsGold · 09/06/2013 22:09

Get the dog a job as a nanny for a family of little darlings?

AmberSocks · 09/06/2013 22:09

picture you are being so ott. Hmm

pictish · 09/06/2013 22:11

Picture come on...you don't think you're taking this just a tiny touch too seriously?

Salmotrutta · 09/06/2013 22:13

I agree Amber.

The OP can sort this out and probably her DD will grow out of it anyway!

I seem to remember my two pretending to be snakes and shit. Slithering around on their stomachs.

ScarletWomanoftheVillage · 09/06/2013 22:13

Hey faber, this puts me in mind of a book by Virginia Woof , think it was called To the Doghouse Grin

5madthings · 09/06/2013 22:16

Snort...

My children regularly pretend to be/I,it ate animals, they even take each other for 'walks', they seem normal most of the time.

SirBoobAlot · 09/06/2013 22:19

DS was a cat, a dog, a lion, a sea cucumber (fuck you very much, Octonaughts...) and a jelly fish today.

We have none of the above.

We had a very bright German Shepard when I was a child. Even she couldn't have 'communicated' to me by 'nudging my arm' that she wanted me to spread cornflakes over the floor.

And if this is actually happening, and you are letting it happen, then you need to take a more proactive role in actually parenting, and not leaving it to a dog.

fabergeegg · 09/06/2013 22:20

At last, photographic evidence that the dog exists!

OP posts:
Awks · 09/06/2013 22:21

Copying a dog is normal. Allowing an under 2 to be babysat by a retriever is weird. Get rid of the dog and start from there - I would.

pictish · 09/06/2013 22:21

I think the dog supposedly making the child get the cereal out with a sly nudge is fantastic! Grin
I want to believe it.

thirdfromleft · 09/06/2013 22:22

So... You're basically saying your daughter is being a little bitch ?

SirBoobAlot · 09/06/2013 22:23

That's a very cute shot. But the safety part of me is screeching, "You allowed your baby to be that close to a dog's jaws?".

5madthings · 09/06/2013 22:23

Well my children often say that their imaginary friend (which is often a dog) 'made' them do naughty things....

coffeeinbed · 09/06/2013 22:24

There's no need to get rid of the dog.
Be a more proactive parent - yes, let DD play with other children - yes.
Watch DD and DDog - yes.
Get rid?
No.

fabergeegg · 09/06/2013 22:25

Sirboob: I realise I shouldn't allow it to happen. DD does get inordinate amounts of adult attention.

OP posts:
pictish · 09/06/2013 22:26

It's probably true!
The dog whines at the cupboard and nudges the wee girl. The wee girl knows the cereal is in there, thinks the dog seems hungry - does the sensible thing and gets the shreddies out.

It's lovely.

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 09/06/2013 22:26

DS pretends to be a woolly mammoth all the time.

Enrol her in nursery- if she's upset, tell her it's like puppy training classes.

diplodocus · 09/06/2013 22:26

Oh the picture is sweet - they look so in tune! I can believe it - some dogs are great at getting people to understand what they want. Personally I suggest a few more Mother and toddler groups and not to worry too much - I'm sure it will all come out in the wash (or at least in nursery). Personally I wish mine were a biddable as a golden retriever. Mine are more poorly trained Jack Russell with a hint of pitbull.