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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to worry my daughter's becoming feral?

170 replies

fabergeegg · 09/06/2013 21:00

We have a golden retriever dog. She's perfectly trained (not a stealth boast as golden retrievers are very easy to work with).

I have a DD of 22 months and they're inseparable. Visitors think it's cute. But we don't get out much and I'm worried she's demonstrating dog behaviour without realising it's abnormal. She's not pretending to be a dog.

At the few mother and toddler groups we've attended, DD looks bewildered. If she's feeling brave, she tries two techniques, neither of which work with other kids very well. There's dominance - she'll slowly approach other children with an intense, unblinking stare, like a gang leader in a film. She doesn't smile or speak. Then there's teasing - I know she shouldn't. She offers something and whips it away, expecting the other child to make a lunge. (This is not what my dog is trained to do and she has never harmed DD. They know I don't allow it so they go off together and do it somewhere else). When DD's eating her biscuit, or feeling pally, she drops to her hunkers - this is usually where the dog's head would be. I can see her confusion when all she sees is other children's knees. Eventually she gives up and withdraws.

When she's trying to initiate play, she drops on her back and starts rolling around. She expects them to do the same. When we go out for a walk, she pants manically and runs around in circles. When she's eating, she'll often give the dog half, as a matter of course, even if it's chocolate. If she's forgotten to do this, she'll take a bit out of her mouth and hands it over then. Or she'll simply open her mouth and allow some food to fall onto the floor. She likes games when she has to retrieve things. Obviously I try to correct her on all this but it's not as if she's trying to play up.

Otherwise she's a normal kid. AIBU to be slightly worried?

OP posts:
BridgetBidet · 09/06/2013 21:17

How can a dog 'urge' a child to do anything? Can he speak? If he can you could make a lot of money.

fabergeegg · 09/06/2013 21:18

Sirboob: Yes, the dog does urge her to do things DD wouldn't have thought of doing. She looks intently at DD and nudges her arm. Then she looks at the cupboard door and makes sounds in her throat. I've seen her do this. DD opens the door because it's the obvious thing to do. Then the process starts again. Until the cereal's on the floor.

They're not alone together for long periods of time but they're constantly dashing off to play. Would you like me to cordon the dog off? It seems reactionary.

OP posts:
D0oinMeCleanin · 09/06/2013 21:18

My dog once stole the last yoghurt from the fridge, ate it will a spoon, spilled some on the sofa and then let me blame dd2 for it Shock

Also aren't dominant. Nor are toddlers.

If your dog walks over to other dogs with an unblinking stare that is aggression and needs dealing with asap.

Picturepuncture · 09/06/2013 21:19

If this is serous (which I sincerely doubt).

Get rid of the dog. Today preferably.

pictish · 09/06/2013 21:19

It's a dog. How can it be urging her to misbehave?

My dd is often a dog or a cat. More often than not she's a dog. She gets down on her hunkers, pants and rolls on her back, and we don't even have a dog!

I'm not sure about this. Is this a piss take?

SoulTrain · 09/06/2013 21:19

Erm....Confused

AtYourCervix · 09/06/2013 21:21

Does she react to moon phases?
Is her name Kaspar?

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 09/06/2013 21:21

Your dog is just that... a dog .
Get a fucking grip.

Salmotrutta · 09/06/2013 21:22

Nah, it'll be Mowgli.

Giraffeski · 09/06/2013 21:22

I have just literally done a little wee I am laughing hat much at this post. I don't know where to start. I really really hope it's true.

fabergeegg · 09/06/2013 21:22

Picture: Get rid of my retriever? You cannot be serious.

Pictish: Answered upthread. I'm reassured that your DD does some of this. Is she pretending to do it or she just doing it?

OP posts:
sweettooth99 · 09/06/2013 21:22

This reply has been deleted

We've removed this as the OP has privacy concerns.

SPsCliffingAllOverMN · 09/06/2013 21:23

Your dog is a dictator!

It is planning to take over the world and is co trolling your daughter obviously

Geez you people! Its serious man

pictish · 09/06/2013 21:24

Both. She often takes on the dog persona in social situations, as she is an introvert, and thinks if she's a dog she doesn't have to speak. She is 4.

Haggisfish · 09/06/2013 21:25

My DD loved the dog more than us and would do what the dog did - I would be a bit worried TBH, and would be taking DD to more groups/meeting up with friends for human interaction!

fabergeegg · 09/06/2013 21:25

Pictish So she's not the only one. This is good news. Trying to work out how to upload a photo.

OP posts:
VitoCorleone · 09/06/2013 21:26

I used to pretend to be a dog when i was a kid

Balaboosta · 09/06/2013 21:27

This is beautiful if it's true!

Sianilaa · 09/06/2013 21:27

And some of you thought I was making the softplay thread up!!

This is brilliant.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 09/06/2013 21:28

A photo of what? Her licking water from a dog bowl?

Jesus.

financialnightmare · 09/06/2013 21:30

I had a friend whose toddler genuinely seemed to behaved like the family cat. It was a bit .... weird. She grew out of it aged 3 or 4. But crawled around like the cat and copied the cat's behaviour. Hmm

It was really weird.

Definitely recommend the nursery etc and maybe you getting a part-time job...

Awks · 09/06/2013 21:31

This is a piss take. Golden retrievers are the thickest dogs in NATO. No way could one of them ever be in charge of a toddler.

Pictish can you upload a photo too so we can compare behaviours and environments? Thanks.

CreatureRetorts · 09/06/2013 21:32

This cannot be real.

Your dog is an animal. You, yes you should be stepping in and keeping an eye on your daughter. Not leaving her to be raised by a smelly four legged canine.

AtYourCervix · 09/06/2013 21:32

I used to know a child who thought se was a dog. Only communicated in pants, growls and yelps. And insisted on wearing a collar and lead.

She was weird. And grew in to a very odd adult.

apostropheuse · 09/06/2013 21:34

Oh FFS this cannot possibly be true OP.

On the slim chance that there's any truth to it your daughter should of course never be left unattended with the dog. Genius or not. (The dog that is). The dog also shouldn't have chocolate.

I have to say I roared with laughter at the panting and running around in circles. Grin

The bit about initiating play by dropping on her back and rolling around was very funny too.