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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to worry my daughter's becoming feral?

170 replies

fabergeegg · 09/06/2013 21:00

We have a golden retriever dog. She's perfectly trained (not a stealth boast as golden retrievers are very easy to work with).

I have a DD of 22 months and they're inseparable. Visitors think it's cute. But we don't get out much and I'm worried she's demonstrating dog behaviour without realising it's abnormal. She's not pretending to be a dog.

At the few mother and toddler groups we've attended, DD looks bewildered. If she's feeling brave, she tries two techniques, neither of which work with other kids very well. There's dominance - she'll slowly approach other children with an intense, unblinking stare, like a gang leader in a film. She doesn't smile or speak. Then there's teasing - I know she shouldn't. She offers something and whips it away, expecting the other child to make a lunge. (This is not what my dog is trained to do and she has never harmed DD. They know I don't allow it so they go off together and do it somewhere else). When DD's eating her biscuit, or feeling pally, she drops to her hunkers - this is usually where the dog's head would be. I can see her confusion when all she sees is other children's knees. Eventually she gives up and withdraws.

When she's trying to initiate play, she drops on her back and starts rolling around. She expects them to do the same. When we go out for a walk, she pants manically and runs around in circles. When she's eating, she'll often give the dog half, as a matter of course, even if it's chocolate. If she's forgotten to do this, she'll take a bit out of her mouth and hands it over then. Or she'll simply open her mouth and allow some food to fall onto the floor. She likes games when she has to retrieve things. Obviously I try to correct her on all this but it's not as if she's trying to play up.

Otherwise she's a normal kid. AIBU to be slightly worried?

OP posts:
ThreeBeeOneGee · 09/06/2013 21:35

They have dogs in NATO?

coffeeinbed · 09/06/2013 21:35

Try and arrange more contact with other children.
Nursery?

I'm sure she'll grow out of it.

pictish · 09/06/2013 21:36

I don't think my dd is weird with her dog persona. She goes to nursery, plays happily and well with her siblings and friends alike....but she has always liked animals, and will be a dog because it winds her brother up for the sake of it, or when she feels pressured in a social situation. She's a cautious and shy girl who takes a while to come around to a larger crowd or people she doesn't know well.
I think she's perfectly fine and normal.

OnTheNingNangNong · 09/06/2013 21:37

I wouldn't allow my child to go and disappear with the dog.

Maybe an agility class would be beneficial to your LO? It's social and good exercise.

LEMisdisappointed · 09/06/2013 21:37

no one will believe me now of course, but i was genuinely worried that DDs speech delay was due to the amount of time she spent with our dog as an only child. She didn't pretend to be or even act like a dog though.

As for the dog persuading her to get the cereal with little nudges and voices - well i dont know about that, but maybe that is what my dog is asking DP for. I started a thread yesterday about my dog talking to us all night! maybe it wants some cocoa pops!

fabergeegg · 09/06/2013 21:37

Well, I've uploaded a photo. Can you see it?

financialnightmare: Why should I take a job? I don't see the connection.

Awks: You don't have to be bright to know there's cereal in the cupboard.

Atyourcervix: That's worrying. DD's not that bad. It's not that she can't speak 'human'. She just seems...bilingual. And she seems to think 'dog' behaviour is meant for people her size.

OP posts:
apostropheuse · 09/06/2013 21:37

You're fortunate that your daughter is pretending to be a dog Pictish. The OP's daughter is being manipulate and trained by the family pet Hmm

financialnightmare · 09/06/2013 21:38

Get a job to pay for a decent nursery.... Grin

lunar1 · 09/06/2013 21:41

Is you've been framed still going on? I'd be trying to get a video!

wannabedomesticgoddess · 09/06/2013 21:41

Children often role play as animals which is normal.

But if a child is learning their social skills from a dog....well, thats really not normal.

crashdoll · 09/06/2013 21:42

My sister used to think she was dog when she was a child. She even used to lift her leg by trees and pretend to pee when we were in the park! Grin She is now a perfectly normal adult with a degree from a good university and a fab job. She no longer thinks she is a dog.

fabergeegg · 09/06/2013 21:44

crashdoll thank you, feeling more positive now...

OP posts:
fabergeegg · 09/06/2013 21:45

financialnightmare oh I get it :)

OP posts:
Picturepuncture · 09/06/2013 21:45

I am deadly serious OP.

Your family pet is having a detrimental effect on your DAUGHTER.

or not and this is all a wind up

coffeeinbed · 09/06/2013 21:47

My toddler did the cocked leg thing as well.

DollyClothespeg · 09/06/2013 21:48
Confused
marriedinwhiteagain · 09/06/2013 21:49

She isn't really being a dog - she isn't parking, growling or whining, Actually dd whined really well and we didn't have a dog.

She doesn't lift her leg at lamp posts does she OP?

If this is true I think your daughter needs ss intervention.

Awks · 09/06/2013 21:50

Its quite normal for kids to pretend to be dogs but what you are describing is a kid being controlled or managed by a dog and that's disturbing.

If you genuinely are worried that your dog is making your dd knock cereal boxes over then you must rehome your dog.

Salmotrutta · 09/06/2013 21:50

Oh come on Picture - get rid of the dog, just because the DD is copying it?

What a ridiculous suggestion.

The OP just has to find some way of her DD and the dog spending less time together and mor opportunities for the DD to meet other children!

pictish · 09/06/2013 21:52

I thought I had already seen the weirdest thread of the day on the kissing-babies-on-the-lips-is-disgusting thread over yonder, but nope...this one wins! And not because of the OP either!!

BriansBrain · 09/06/2013 21:52

My dog was fucking awful at parking married I got rid of her because of it.

Grin
BriansBrain · 09/06/2013 21:54

Ad your profile is private op

dread to think what I'm going to see when it isn't

HollaAtMeBaby · 09/06/2013 21:54

Have you tried taking her to the vet?

OutragedFromLeeds · 09/06/2013 21:58

I've got a 22 month old who exhibits dog-like behaviour and we don't even have a dog Grin

He loves playing fetch and will take his ball up to strangers in the park to throw for him.

I got him some reins, which I though he'd object to, but he loves and brings them to me when he wants to go out.

He sits by the front/back door and whinges to go out.

He does enjoy the 'whip the biscuit game'.

He doesn't bark or anything though so I'm not overly concerned. Maybe it's just an age thing OP?

fabergeegg · 09/06/2013 22:01

No I'm glad to say she doesn't lift her leg at lamp posts. But then the dog is female so she wouldn't.

Still mystified about why it's so dreadful that the dog gets DD to empty cereal boxes over the floor. It's not as if she's out killing sheep. More worrying was the major parenting fail a few weeks ago when they tried to go for a walk. That was awful. My neighbour returned them.

OP posts: