AIBU?
To ban kissing my baby on the lips
Nora2012 · 09/06/2013 17:02
I'm not sure if I'm the only person in the world who has this view but I hate when other people kiss my baby on the lips. My MIL is the main culprit and it makes my skin crawl. I won't deny that we don't get on, so that exasperates the issue, but it's not just a hello/goodbye kiss, she picks bet up and just slobbers all over her face. DD is only 6 months old but has started cringing, I'm sure she doesn't like it, she doesn't laugh. The MIL also smokes and although I won't allow DD near when she's actually smoking her breath constantly stinks of smoke. How do I approach this situation? My husband and I show DD affection all the time, so she's not lacking in love. I just feel she doesn't treat DD as a person with a right to her own personal space she just treats her like a doll who's just there for her to pull and poke.
ScarletLady02 · 09/06/2013 17:05
Hmmm...tricky one. I wouldn't be happy with a smoker doing it to such a young baby, but if she wasn't a smoker...well she IS her Nan and GPs do get a bit carried away sometimes....so YANBU and a bit U in a way
I can get your point about personal space, I hate people invading mine, but I can also understand people getting carried away with little babies...they are very kissable.
At the end of the day though, she's your baby. How does her Dad feel about it?
TwilightInParis · 09/06/2013 17:09
well she IS her Nan and GPs do get a bit carried away sometimes....so YANBU and a bit U in a way
I agree, one day you will be the MIL and want to show affection to your grandchild that your DD/DIL won't like.
I don't think you are being unreasonable about the smokey breath though.
ScarletLady02 · 09/06/2013 17:10
I do see what you're saying. It's a tricky one to deal with I guess. I think the smoking thing would really irritate me (and I don't really have an issue with smokers). The chemicals hang around, if you can smell them, then they're there, and she is still very little so that's a good enough reason to stop it right there.
Hopefully someone will come along with practical help 
whoopwhoopbib · 09/06/2013 17:11
Yanbu I hate it when dp does it to dd but this comes from the fact that I suffer from coldsores so I would never kiss a baby on the lips.
I think you should tell your dp how you feel and next time she does it just politely ask her not to.
I have asked soneone who had recently had two coldsores one after the other to not kiss then newborn dd anywhere and I don't care if it is deemed overprotective etc.
Coconutty · 09/06/2013 17:16
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
bornagaindomesticgoddess · 09/06/2013 17:19
Yuck, yuck, yuck! I hate that people do this. I would not even kiss my own baby on the lips, let alone let anyone else do it.
It is intrusive and unhygienic. So no, YADNBU. However, tread carefully... you don't want to hurt the MIL's feelings. And please don't mention her smoking, you really don't need to. It would come across as quite judgemental, I think.
kelda · 09/06/2013 17:24
If you feel the need to be backed up, tell her that the baby clinic have said that she shouldn't do it. I'm pretty sure that's waht they would tell you, along with not smoking an hour or more before she sees the baby.
And if she refuses to listen to you, then I would refuse to let her pick up the baby. Your baby's health is more important.
trackies · 09/06/2013 17:29
i've heard you can be a carrier of meningitis, but not actually develop it. Therefore, can pass it on without even knowing that you have and then the other person develops it. A member in my family died from it, and their close family relatives are now very careful when it comes to kissing. Perhaps use germs and a story like that to stop her from doing it.
marriedinwhiteagain · 09/06/2013 17:33
Totally inappropriate. DH and I didn't kiss our own children on the lips and our parents didn't ad don't either. Kissing on the lips is between partners, surely. YANBU.
But I'd say the smoking is your solution, at least you have a valid reason to ask your MIL not to do it.
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