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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ban kissing my baby on the lips

155 replies

Nora2012 · 09/06/2013 17:02

I'm not sure if I'm the only person in the world who has this view but I hate when other people kiss my baby on the lips. My MIL is the main culprit and it makes my skin crawl. I won't deny that we don't get on, so that exasperates the issue, but it's not just a hello/goodbye kiss, she picks bet up and just slobbers all over her face. DD is only 6 months old but has started cringing, I'm sure she doesn't like it, she doesn't laugh. The MIL also smokes and although I won't allow DD near when she's actually smoking her breath constantly stinks of smoke. How do I approach this situation? My husband and I show DD affection all the time, so she's not lacking in love. I just feel she doesn't treat DD as a person with a right to her own personal space she just treats her like a doll who's just there for her to pull and poke.

OP posts:
ApocalypseThen · 09/06/2013 19:54

Actually, I'm an age I don't care to mention, and I still kiss my mam on the lips. She's my mam, gave birth to me, changed my nappy and all, you couldn't have a more intimate relationship on a physical level.

Lifeisontheup · 09/06/2013 19:55

I can honestly say I didn't think about how people kissed my babies, on the lips or not. I was just pleased they wanted to show affection. I have had cold sores in the past and would not kiss anyone if I had an active one but otherwise wouldn't bother.
I think people are too precious now, makes me less likely to go near babies now.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 09/06/2013 19:55

Ha. Today I was pinned down on the floor by my 6 year old and my 3 year old, they proceeded to give me the sloppiest kisses known to mankind. I couldn't have stopped them even if I did think kissing on the lips was disgusting!

PlateSpinningAtAllTimes · 09/06/2013 19:56

squoosh I said the same thing to DH earlier- something along the lines of "this is such a weird thread...from the title I expected everyone would be telling the OP to get a grip....but they're all agreeing" Confused

pictish · 09/06/2013 19:59

I agree Plate - I too was expecting a run of GAFGs.

This is some sort of strange MN pocket of extreme neurosis.

ElphabaTheGreen · 09/06/2013 20:00

I kiss my baby on the lips. Where possible, he seizes my lower lip in his four teeth then sucks like it's a boob and laughs fit to burst! I'm a bit Hmm about the vast number of people here who think kissing your baby on the lips is odd. DS chews the dog toys if I can get to him quick enough, FFS. I hardly think a kiss on the lips from me, his dad or his grandparents is a death sentence.

On the other hand, 33 year old DH still kisses his mum, dad and grandmother firmly on the lips, and in public if we meet up with them on a high street or shopping centre, which I think is well odd. MIL insisted on kissing me on the lips once. My recoil at the time and whiplash inducing head turn whenever she tries to kiss me now have made my position clear on the strange practice. I stopped kissing my own mother on the lips when I was about 11. I ain't kissing anybody other than DH now!

But kissing a baby on the lips? I fail to see the problem

Pinkflipflop · 09/06/2013 20:01

Kissing your own baby on the lips is ok and lovely!

Fag breath randoms kissing those lovely lips is not!

elbett · 09/06/2013 20:02

I can honestly say I have never known anyone in RL find kissing on the lips weird. We've always kissed lips in my family and I'm 26 and still do! DD has just started giving slobbery toddler kisses and I actively encourage it. It's no different to a cuddle IMO.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 09/06/2013 20:02

My MIl gave my DH cold sores as a child and he unwittingly passed this to me, I caught my MIL putting my baby's whole fist in her mouth the other day! Out came the hand gel

PlateSpinningAtAllTimes · 09/06/2013 20:10

Slightly off the point but on the issue of germs: I was driving on the motorway the other day when DS 'helpfully' gave DD his sandall to keep her occupied. She (being 6mo) started sucking the bottom of it, which had just been on DS's foot as he walked into a service station toilet. That made me shudder. Kisses from granny...not so much.

crashdoll · 09/06/2013 20:12

"I caught my MIL putting my baby's whole fist in her mouth the other day!"

Ewww!

StyleManual · 09/06/2013 20:16

This is like the toilet brush thread all over again.

Why would you not kiss a baby on the lips? That's normal isn't it? I still kiss my mum on the lips btw.

Sparklingbrook · 09/06/2013 20:16

I would never kiss a baby with a toilet brush. Shock

Kiriwawa · 09/06/2013 20:17

I actually can't remember if anyone gave DS a kiss on the lips when he was a baby. I know his grandparents do now when he's 6.

I wish this thread were full of GAFG posts. It's terribly sad that it isn't.

Alternatively MN exists in some kind of lip-smacking twilight zone where MIL can suck the very lifeblood out of a babe by kissing them on their unsullied lips Hmm

OneToThree · 09/06/2013 20:21

What's GAFG?

I kiss all mine on the lips, ds 6 and dts 2. I will probably stop when they get older though.

BigBoobiedBertha · 09/06/2013 20:24

I wonder if the people who say that kissing on the lips is only for partners are the same people who say that that breasts are only for their partners too. Hmm

To be honest I wasn't a big lip kisser with DS1 - he didn't seem to like it so I didn't do it - he was showered in kisses almost everywhere else, it wasn't like he was starved of affection. DS2 on the other hand is a whole other creature. I more often than not get a bigger smacker on the lips from him rather than the cheek. Unless he is ill or particularly slobbery it is lovely.

But on the other hand, kissing a baby if you have been smoking is a no-no. I thought it was linked to cot death. If you aren't meant to breath on babies after a fag, I pretty sure you aren't meant to kiss them either- obviously the risks are small but that and the stink would be enough for me to ban it

Tell your MIL to stop it. Don't have to make a big fuss

Thurlow · 09/06/2013 20:26

I am 33. I still kiss my dad on the lips. I guess we're just weird.

The wannabe toddler has just learnt to do big, tonguey kisses, you can't avoid them.

PlateSpinningAtAllTimes · 09/06/2013 20:31

y, y Bertha - when you think about which part of your body a baby comes out of and where they get their milk from (most babies, for some of the time at least), how is it odd to kiss them on the lips?!

ElphabaTheGreen · 09/06/2013 20:31

OneToThree Get A Fucking Grip.

PeachActiviaMinge · 09/06/2013 20:33

I love kissing my baby on the lips don't love it so much when he sticks his drooly pukey tongue out at the same time though. Still kiss my ten year old on the lips too.

plummyjam · 09/06/2013 20:40

Why is it odd though? I'm assuming (correct me if I'm wrong) that it's because it might be perceived in some way as sexual. That's the only reason I can see that somebody would kiss their partner on the lips but not their own baby.

It demonstrates a level of intimacy that is perhaps only reserved for a partner, child or parent but a kiss on the lips is not in itself a sexual act in my book.

HeySoulSister · 09/06/2013 20:41

Op please come back and explain how you will enforce this ban!!

FoxyRevenger · 09/06/2013 20:43

This thread is mental.

Just Grin Shock at the post upthread (sorry, can't remember the poster) who said kissing a baby on the lips is 'ewwwwww' but kissing them on the arse is lovely.

Sparklingbrook · 09/06/2013 20:50

That was me Foxy. Raspberries on the bum. Now don't tell me that isn't the done thing. Grin

Thurlow · 09/06/2013 20:51

I do vaguely remember a thread similar to this where someone said they couldn't even consider kissing their DC on the lips because they gave their husband blowjobs Shock