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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ban kissing my baby on the lips

155 replies

Nora2012 · 09/06/2013 17:02

I'm not sure if I'm the only person in the world who has this view but I hate when other people kiss my baby on the lips. My MIL is the main culprit and it makes my skin crawl. I won't deny that we don't get on, so that exasperates the issue, but it's not just a hello/goodbye kiss, she picks bet up and just slobbers all over her face. DD is only 6 months old but has started cringing, I'm sure she doesn't like it, she doesn't laugh. The MIL also smokes and although I won't allow DD near when she's actually smoking her breath constantly stinks of smoke. How do I approach this situation? My husband and I show DD affection all the time, so she's not lacking in love. I just feel she doesn't treat DD as a person with a right to her own personal space she just treats her like a doll who's just there for her to pull and poke.

OP posts:
pictish · 09/06/2013 23:16

Isn't it just?

Sparklingbrook · 09/06/2013 23:17

Sad Oh well. Too late now. I will add it to the list of things that are my fault.

LifeOfPee · 09/06/2013 23:19

I'm glad lots of other baby lip kissers have come on the thread, the majority of posts at the beginning were making me feel like I was the only person to kiss their baby's lips.

5madthings · 09/06/2013 23:20

Have I entered a parralel universe?! Wtf is wrong with kissing on the lips? We all do it in our family, its entirely normal,my dd gave me a delightfullu slobbery snotty kiss this afternoon.

I love kissing and being kissed by my children especially!

Sparklingbrook · 09/06/2013 23:22

I await the conversation that I will have with the DSs when they ask 'Mum why didn't you kiss us on the lips as babies?'

Shodan · 09/06/2013 23:30

Ds2 (5) likes to give me "100 kisses Mummy" while I'm in the bath Shock .

I have damaged him For Ever. [sadface]

IneedAsockamnesty · 09/06/2013 23:40

The op has made it very clear that she has no problem with people kissing their own children on the lips.

Just doing it to other people's kids or other people doing it to hers.

pictish · 09/06/2013 23:42

I think we are responding to other posters tbh sock.

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 10/06/2013 00:43

Smile Pictish.
Something so innocent and natural is being demonized under the guise of "hygiene"....

MerkinMaker · 10/06/2013 01:16

Me too, Lifeofpee.

My family are very kissey but pil aren't. When ds kisses them he also says 'no, on the lips grandma' but she won't, which I do find a bit sad.

plannedshock · 10/06/2013 02:47

My b-il told me and my dp he had never kissed his little girl on the lips and neither had the DM. He found it weird. I find it weird that people find it weird. I kiss my dd on the lips so does my dp, my family have always kissed on the lips. I really don't get how it's weird.

StrawberrytallCAKE · 10/06/2013 03:32

I come from a non lip kissing family and I had to make my feelings known about no lip kissing when dd1 was born with dh's family. It took a while to sink in though. I can't explain exactly why I think it's a bit gross, the fact there are more germs in your mouth than your bum or the invasion of personal space but definitely not because it is sexual. I don't think babies necessarily need kissing on the lips, I mean what do they get from it other than bacteria? It's definitely not comforting. I like to cuddle my dds a lot and squeeze them and kiss them all over their faces (raspberries on the bum are also a definite after a bath here) so it's not like we're a cold family Smile.

I am raising my children so if dh's family didn't support the way I am doing so then they wouldn't see much of them. OP YANBU to ask her not to do it.

Not judging btw, just giving my opinion so maybe you lip kissers can see it from another pov.

everlong · 10/06/2013 06:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whoopwhoopbib · 10/06/2013 06:31

I don't have a problem with kissing dd on the lips because I think it is 'sexual', the only reason I don't do it and don't like it is purely down to coldsores.

Yes they can be caught from towels, glasses etc but I don't share these or let dd play with them.

Three members of my family suffer from them including me and two on dp's side that I know of so I would rather no one kissed her on the lips for this reason.

If I didn't have them I would quite happily kiss her on the lips but I can't risk her catching the life long virus which is easily spread to other parts of the face and body.

Also if she was kissed and got a coldsore I would not be able to carry on bf her as they can develop on the nipple and so any subsequent newborn babies would also be put at risk.

Yes I might come accross as 'anal' about this but I don't care, it is far more important to me to protect her from this virus than it is to worry about what other people think.

valiumredhead · 10/06/2013 08:29

Good Lord, I'm with pictish on this!

MrsMelons · 10/06/2013 08:36

Only on MN do people object to kissing young children on the lips. I have worked in childcare and know loads of young children and their families. I can honestly say I have NEVER heard anyone with these sorts of feelings in RL.

My friends and family kiss my DCs on the lips and I have never heard anything so ridiculous. I think it is a very odd message to send to say you must never kiss on the lips.

MrsMelons · 10/06/2013 08:37

BTW I would definitely object with her kissing her after smoking, that is gross!

MrsMelons · 10/06/2013 08:38

oh and coldsores of course (not that they are gross but obviously dangerous)

StrawberrytallCAKE · 10/06/2013 08:40

I only mentioned not thinking it was a 'sexual' thing as up thread someone had thrown that one in to derail any sensible reasons for not wanting children to be kissed on the lips. Which is obviously ridiculous.

I don't think it's only on mn, I've met a lot of people who feel the same.

MrsMelons · 10/06/2013 08:45

Strawberry - that wasn't aimed at you. You have actually given your reasons and said its what you do (or don't) do. Its the posters who have said eeeewwww etc and have no real reasons why its not ok other that the fact they dislike their inlaws!

I think it may be how you are brought up, ie lip kissing family or not. We are a very affectionate family and have always kissed on the lips, my friends are all the same and we kiss each other on the lips. I don't see it as weird and TBH my DSs have eating mud and snails (and probably worse) so I think the germs from anyones mouth are fairly tame in comparison Grin

VulvaVoom · 10/06/2013 09:08

I kiss 8 month old DD on the lips occasionally but that's because I sometimes can't resist it plus I don't mind her dribble snot

Not sure how I would feel about other people doing it though, a bit yuck.

Even worse is when people put their fingers in DDs mouth and I worry about whether they've washed their hands (Stepdad particularly!)

AmberSocks · 10/06/2013 09:53

I wouldnt let someone who smoked hold my baby,ive actually said no to a couple of people before,although tbf they were just random people i didnt know at a party not family.

As for kissing on the lips,i would probably just go ugh dont kiss him on the lips!

Binkybix · 10/06/2013 09:56

I wouldn't want to kiss a baby except from mine on the lips. Dribbly and icky!

Oddly though, I too would raspberry a clean bottom :)

Nanny0gg · 10/06/2013 10:03

Sparklingbrook
There is nothing to beat raspberries on a baby's bum! (apart from on their tummies). Grin

I must admit, I don't see anything wrong in kissing them on the lips, but if it's me doing the kissing, I tend to kiss on cheeks. Toddlers, however, don't give you a choice!

Medal · 10/06/2013 10:08

Get some antibacterial gel. Squirt it all over your lips, squirt it all over your child's lips, maybe put a pump in your mouths as well just incase. THEN you can kiss your own child on your lips.

As for a peck on your own child's lips being connotated as sexual - that is just bizarre, and quite worrying!

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