To ban kissing my baby on the lips

[Nora2012]

I'm not sure if I'm the only person in the world who has this view but I hate when other people kiss my baby on the lips. My MIL is the main culprit and it makes my skin crawl. I won't deny that we don't get on, so that exasperates the issue, but it's not just a hello/goodbye kiss, she picks bet up and just slobbers all over her face. DD is only 6 months old but has started cringing, I'm sure she doesn't like it, she doesn't laugh. The MIL also smokes and although I won't allow DD near when she's actually smoking her breath constantly stinks of smoke. How do I approach this situation? My husband and I show DD affection all the time, so she's not lacking in love. I just feel she doesn't treat DD as a person with a right to her own personal space she just treats her like a doll who's just there for her to pull and poke.

Yanbu! I hate this with a passion. When dd was in nursery and started interacting I found that the nursery had taught her to kiss on lips. At home I'd tell her "no kissing lips, yuck! Only mummy and daddy kiss lips". She's a little star because she learnt it well and went and told the nursery exactly that.

My dh's cousin also had a habit of kissing dd on the lips when she was about 3, that was stopped when dd screamed "No!" Covered her lips and ran away. The deluded woman ran after her trying to grab her for a kiss and dd kicked her (lips still covered) and went and sat in the car. We drove off after that. I just waved and laughed!

There is no need to kiss babies on the lips. Dh and I don't and we've said to gps/family not to either. I just said 'we don't kiss dd on the lips' the first time they met her and that's it. Don't worry about offending her re the smoking ffs!!! It's your daughter's safety that's more important.

And uptight my arse! Or shall I come round and kiss your husband on the lips and see if you like it?

I wouldn't say its yuck! I kiss ds on the lips sometimes, just a quick peck. I'm the only one though. My mil would never do this and I be pretty pissed off if a smoker kissed ds on the lips.
If you don't like it tell your mil you don't like it as she's a smoker and dd is too young to be kissed like that.

It's a bit cringeworthy so tabby about it weirding you out. However I don't buy the "unhygenic" reasoning; in a few months you'll be following her around the house trying to get her to stop putting the tv remote/dog toys/her own feet in her mouth. A peck on the lips will do no harm unless they have herpes

Ok Alibaba how would you feel if someone infected your dc with the coldsore virus, which has and can kill babies??!? Do you think that once they had developed their first coldsore you would feel fine about it because you weren't 'uptight' about kissing on the lips??

It is ignorant people who feel the need to kiss babies unecessarily on the lips that spread these infections.

I never kiss anyone other than my dp on the lips because there is just no need to do so.

Tabby?! Clearly I meant YANBU.

I obviously wouldn't let anyone who had an active coldsore kiss then on the mouth, but no-one would.

I, MIL and my mother all suffer from coldsores and none of us have passed them to my sons despite the fact that all of us kiss them on the mouth.

Ewww. Ewwww. I din't kiss my two on the lips as babies. Why would you? Just no need. Rasperries on the bum is the way to go.....

Well I can see the hygiene issues and the smoking thing would bother me, but there are few things as nice as a slobbery lip kiss from a toddler you love! I think it's tragic and odd that people somehow think it's inappropriate for anyone but partners to kiss on the lips. I was probably a preteen before I entirely stopped kissing my father on the lips.

I agree with Bue re kissing on the lips generally speaking.

OP I can see why you aren't happy with it though. Your baby is probably cringing because of your mil's smokers breath. I don't mean that offensively to smokers, I smoke. I also carry a lot of mints with me at all times.

YADNBU.

but there are few things as nice as a slobbery lip kiss from a toddler you love!

Really?! I do it because my toddler loves to kiss me on the lips, but I don't enjoy it, cos it's all slobbery, mixed with snot at the moment too.

Coldsores are infectious before they start to show.

A friend's baby spent 3 weeks in hospital with a cold sore infection. I've not sure why anyone would want to risk that.

Am I the only one that thinks there is nothing wrong with kissing a baby on the lips! Particularly a member of family.
I DO get the issue with her beings smoker, but I find it sad that people think there is something wrong with kissing your own baby on the lips.

Just seen that I'm bit the only one, but clearly in a minority.

Just tell her NOT to do it!

Why must it be a big deal?

If anyone started kissing my baby on the lips I would be very, very clear that it not happen again!

You have to be assertive with things like this! If she's annoyed, do you really care?

Thanks pink, I will try to be assertive. And I'm not too worried about upsetting her. Like you've all said its less about me and more about the health and happiness of DD so shes'll just have to get over it.

I'm with Alibaba and mootime on this. I'm actually astonished by how many people think kissing DC on the mouth is gross. The smoking issue would bother me, but not to the extent that I'd stop her. Re. hygiene, a) surely exposure to germs helps to build good immunity and b), as CraicDealer said, she'll have far worse in her mouth soon! Re herpes, I get cold sores and I know they're coming when I start to feel run down, so I avoid kissing DH/DC then. Additionally, (correct me if this is wrong) don't bfing mothers actually need to kiss their baby on the mouth to create the relevant antibodies for the bmilk? I heard this recently from a friend so can't link to evidence, sorry!

Thanks pink, I will try to be assertive. And I'm not too worried about upsetting her. Like you've all said its less about me and more about the health and happiness of DD so shes'll just have to get over it.

Ban?? How do you even begin to enforce a 'ban'?

I think they will all laugh at you and carry on regardless really

Exactly nora catch her in the act the next time and just " no, no no! Absolutely no kissing on lips!"

Or you could do it the sneaky way and the next time you see her tell about a friend of yours that you had to have words to because she missed your baby on the lips!

Oh MIL it was sooo disgusting, I'm glad my family wouldn't do that, etc.

Yabu. How uptight can you be? So mil is not allowed to kiss her granddaughter now, is it?
Fuck me.

If anyone started kissing my baby on the lips I would be very, very clear that it not happen again!

Blimey O'reilly!! The joyless have arrived!

I have never in all my life known anyone to vocally outright ban people from kissing their baby on the lips. Never!

If I did I'd think they were to be avoided.

Blindly, I've kissed tonnes of kids on the lips. They kind of zoom in and plant a big slobbery one on the old chops.

Never ever thought about it really. Wouldn't occur to me to not kiss on the lips.