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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked my bumps daddy not to drink at home?

209 replies

Aimeeleighb · 05/06/2013 23:28

Ok so bump isn't that big yet but asked my other half to not drink at home as I know I am really gonna miss our nights in with a few drinks and a take away etc.
He thinks I'm being unreasonable but I don't think I am?
I have changed my diet, routine and of course my body is changing too so I don't think its much to ask to keep alcohol out the house?

OP posts:
PaleHousewifeOfCumbriaCounty · 06/06/2013 17:59

I saw the title and laughed maniacally. NOW im a mumsnetter :)

mymagaret · 06/06/2013 18:00

Also , there is nothing wrong with 'Bumps Daddy', the amount of times i read 'DD DS' and frown. We have a nickname for the baby and im sure enough people would frown at that. The question wasnt about what name she chooses to call the father!

expatinscotland · 06/06/2013 18:02

My 'bump's daddy'. Is this the twee version of 'baby daddy'?

FFS.

BOF · 06/06/2013 18:07

It is a bit of a shame the pasting the poor woman has had- as I said last night, my first post on mumsnet broke lots of the unwritten rules, but I was lucky enough to just be ignored rather than run out of town. It can take a while to adapt to the lingo when you're new, and she might have hung around and become a valued member if she hadn't been ripped a new one.

I am going to pull rank now and wheel out that time-honoured MNism that we all hate:

"MUMSNET AT ITS WORST SadAngry"

Wink
QOD · 06/06/2013 18:08

Yabu Hun xxxxxxxxxxxx

mummy to a precious moody teenager princess fluffikins aged 14 years 5 months and I can't fecking work out the days

candyandyoga · 06/06/2013 18:12

This is a joke right? Bumps (sic) daddy?!

Or a new chav saying I have not heard before today...

Pmsl

BOF · 06/06/2013 18:16

You really are evil fuckers, you know.

MrsMillions · 06/06/2013 18:18

I would far rather have him at home enjoying a night in with me accompanied by a few drinks than down the pub with his friends having lots...

The reality for us: DH has had some beer and wine (and the odd glass of his favourite rum) at home, definitely much less than if we were sharing bottles of wine and his waistline has shrunk a bit as a result. He's had a few more boozy nights out with friends, which have generally been fine and allowed me time with trash TV, but on some occasions the results of beer and curry have been a little bit, ahem, aromatic for my pregnant nose!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/06/2013 18:19

I used to call the boys 'the bump' when they were in utero - I see nothing wrong with that.

However, Aimeeleighb - I am sorry, but I think you are being unreasonable to expect your OH to stop having a drink at home whilst you are pregnant - unless the smell of alcohol is making you feel sick. If it is just 'rubbing in' the fact you can't drink whilst pregnant, then that is not a good enough reason.

I am on a diet at the moment, because I have developed type2 diabetes, and it makes me a bit jealous when HDTV and the dses happily wolf down chocolate and biscuits and crisps whilst I nibble on a rice cake, but I wouldn't dream of asking them not to eat unhealthy stuff at home whilst I am dieting.

SmellsLikeWeenSpirits · 06/06/2013 18:23

I thought it was women who lost their identity after having kids. It's nice to see the balance reassessed

changeling1234 · 06/06/2013 18:25

SDT would love to see your HDTV eating chocolate Grin

MatersMate · 06/06/2013 18:37

Ah bless your heart OP, if you're still reading, relax, some people get a kick out of diving in and ripping the piss relentlessly Hmm really, don't let it bother you.

FWIW You're IMO being a tiny bit unreasonable expecting him to stop drinking completely at home, pretty sure you'd be more pissed off if he went down the pub?

It's going to be a loooong pregnancy if you think he will be pregnant 'with' you! And after all, he doesn't get all the cool stuff like kicks and flutters to make the not drinking worth it!

Good luck with your pregnancy.

fanjobiscuits · 06/06/2013 18:46

I think YANBU. If I was asked this by my OH I would be fine with it. Being the only pissed one in a couple is a bit rubbish anyway.

Tweasels · 06/06/2013 18:47

I really hope the OP was a troll. If not some of you lot need to hang your heads in shame.

What's wrong with just saying YABU and these are the reasons why. No need to be a cunt eh?

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 06/06/2013 18:49

You want him off the booze when the baby has arrived, so he can pitch in and do his whack of night duty etc! Let him enjoy the odd drink now! :)

EleanorFarjeon · 06/06/2013 18:51

Bump's daddy? I feel quite queasy.

YABU. Very.

HesterShaw · 06/06/2013 18:52

Poor OP.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 06/06/2013 18:54

Bump's daddy?! That finished it for me. Grin

Sparrowlegs248 · 06/06/2013 19:02

Well, going against the grain i don't think you are being unreasonable. It seems you should refer to bumps daddy by another name......

MrsKoala · 06/06/2013 19:03

What i don't understand about those saying it's considerate for a partner not to drink, is why? Why does it make any difference to the fact you have chosen not to drink? It doesn't make you any more or less anything - it has no bearing on you or how you feel physically whatsoever (unless they are hammered and then it is actually painful to listen to a drunk witter on). But if it really is a couple of beers how does it make you feel worse in any way? Confused

And to those saying people are being awful to the OP. I can't see that anywhere, i just see people taking the piss out of her terminology, it's hardly calling her a cunt or anything. I thought it was quite light hearted really. Unless she wraps her sense of self worth in a nick name she has for her DH. I don't think anyone meant it to offend her - i certainly didn't, it was more a reaction to the word, not the OP herself and i think that's quite obvious.

JenaiMorris · 06/06/2013 19:27

When you're first pregnant you're full of twee shite, surely?

I was.

It's a big deal becoming a parent and it can take a while to realise that not everyone's head is so full of cutesy terminology. Ds was referred to as Lil G. G being for gangsta Hmm

Anyway, it would be nice of the OP's partner to refrain from waving ice cold pints in her face and scoffing great hunks of Stinking Bishop. But it would be unwise of her to try and impose a ban.

HandMini · 06/06/2013 19:39

What i don't understand about those saying it's considerate for a partner not to drink, is why? Why does it make any difference to the fact you have chosen not to drink? It doesn't make you any more or less anything - it has no bearing on you or how you feel physically whatsoever (unless they are hammered and then it is actually painful to listen to a drunk witter on).

It has absolutely no bearing on how pregnant wife/girlfriend feels physically, but what the OP is getting at is solidarity, understanding, empathy, compassion, feeling a bit sorry for your beer-desperate wife, just trying a small chunk of what the restrictions of pregnancy feel like.

MrsKoala · 06/06/2013 20:01

Sorry, handmini - i still don't see it, it will give them no clue to what being pregnant is like, it will just ensure they are sober. I don't see any solidarity in it at all. Surely, if you are desperate for beer then someone else not having a beer doesn't make you any less desperate. YOU still aren't getting a beer.

OctopusPete8 · 06/06/2013 20:04

I think YABU,

him not drinking won't make you feel any better about not being able to trust me you'll just end up with 2 sober n pissed off people.

HandMini · 06/06/2013 20:19

MrsKoala - I don't think I can explain WHY someone joining you in giving something up / abstaining helps you along, but it does. I guess it's the principle that AA or Weightwatchers works on.