Asked my bumps daddy not to drink at home?

[Aimeeleighb]

Ok so bump isn't that big yet but asked my other half to not drink at home as I know I am really gonna miss our nights in with a few drinks and a take away etc.
He thinks I'm being unreasonable but I don't think I am?
I have changed my diet, routine and of course my body is changing too so I don't think its much to ask to keep alcohol out the house?

YABU. But I'm guessing you've sussed that by now. Don't be put off, dust yourself off and come back and have a laugh. :)

So will it be BD and BM for now on?

(And where oh where did BM go....)

YABVU. You are giving up alcohol because it may (or may not in small quantities but that's a whole other issue and thread) affect the health/development of your unborn baby. His drinking has no such effect so there is no reason for him to stop. You may find he naturally drinks a bit less as drinking alone isn't as much fun. Why can't you have a takeaway?

Oooh you 'orrible lot, you've scared the OP off

OP - YAB a bit U in my opinion. DH cut back on his drinking whilst around me when I was pregnant, and I appreciated that, but I would never tell him he couldn't drink at all. It depends though on whether you mean a couple of beers of an evening....or getting wankered! I wouldn't have appreciated the latter, but would not mind the former...

OP, change your name and start again.

You will always be known as the bump daddy poster.

yabu so very much so.

Oh good grief some of you are just so desperate to be seen to be so amazingly cool and tolerant aren't you?

The op is asking her partner not to drink at home while she's pregnant. She's not saying don't go out, no alcohol at all or decreeing instead of asking.

If her partner cannot forgo a drink of an evening to show a bit of support and acknowledge the tremendous sacrifices she is making carrying his baby, well that's a bit sad. When did drinking alone become something desirable or fun any way?

It is thoughtless to eat a cream cake in front of someone on a diet. It is thoughtless to crack open a six pack in front of someone who is pregnant. It's just basic manners to think of others.

Why should a man get to just blithely carry on as if nothing had happened with his sole contribution being an orgasam? A drink is not a right nor a necessity.

I think the only reason DH agreed to a third was so he had 9 months of a nominated driver .

Seriously though, I do feel a moment of 'god, I fancy a beer' in this hot weather when he is drinking one, but I'd never stop him. I think it helps counterbalance my tears / emotion / whinging / having to carry heavy stuff for me at the moment. I don't think I'm a very nice person to have around when pregnant to be honest!

Wow, strong reaction to a bit of alcohol!

I love Brie, and if I really bloody wanted it while pregnant I would (politely) ask DP if he wouldn't mind not eating it. I seriously doubt it would get this kind of reaction!

Similarly if it was a mr whippy ice cream, the board wouldn't go mad for me asking. I'm sure a few will suggest that it's because there are pregnancy friendly alternatives to Brie and mr whippy, but then there is with drinking- it's called not drinking! Seems like a foreign concept to some.

I'm not saying the OP should expect her DP/DH to not drink. But if she is finding it hard of a weekend when they would bothy usually drink then I don't see the harm in asking the question and it being a discussion and choice.

Some have questioned the OP's relationship with alcohol and whether it's healthy because of her asking DP/DH but no ones questioned the DP/DH and his relationship with alcohol. If she is finding it hard because she misses it then what's a few month without it? Nothing!

And yes perhaps I wouldn't use the term "bumps daddy" but is all the bashing really warranted? We use DH etc, do you really think any of us actually use 'dear' in real life? It's a bit fucking twee for a start.

No one's mentioned the lack of apostrophe in the title yet...

(Runs away)

What an incredibly bitchy response to a post, with few exceptions!

Good thing your OH is used to cosy nights in, though. I would be more worried if the question implied that he was always out and refusing to give that up!

Op, you need to relax a bit as you have a long way to go and have to accept that there will be a lot of things your oh (refuse to use bump daddy) can do but is recommended that you don't, alcohol just being one of them.

being a parent means a lot of compromise so choose your battles carefully.

i say this from the position of being in the final days/weeks of a second pregnancy and can't stand the smell of alcohol but happily poured my oh a glass of wine last night. I figured that as of this weekend he will be on the alcohol ban in preparation for the hospital dash it wasn't a biggy.

Yes chipping you are right. Tonsillitis it is.

Op sorry for the jokes but bumps daddy is a bit lame to be honest and yes you are pregnant and probably will be again. The world still turns.

However unless your dh is getting fighting pissed every night you can't really expect him to forgo a tipple.

Its like the phrase 'we are pregnant' well no actually you arnt because I dought in 9 months dh will be pushing a head out of his nether regions.

Anyway having a baby is far more exciting than having a drink. Best of luck xx

The OP's use of 'bump's daddy' was a little bit funny... Then someone else changed it to 'bump daddy' and I nearly wet myself. < texts DH to tell him his new name > the worst thing is, he's going to love it.

K8 I am not desperate to look cool

I honestly didn't care when my bump daddy wanted a drink, eat blue cheese or whatever it was I couldn't do when pregnant.

Then again, I never understood why people find it so hard not to drink alcohol for 9 months.

My husband doesn't mind when I eat a cream cake around him when he is dieting either. Perhaps we are just genuinely laid back ;)

If you're anything like me whilst pregnant (hormonal, rage-filled, vomit fountain) YABVU. I think if I had kept him sober, I'd br single by now

Otherwise, YAB a bit U.

"Bumps Daddy" - I don't give a damn, really. Personally, I hate "DP", (not that I like preggertwee either, but each to their own ) but I cant be arsed with reactions like this.

I think you should come back (minus name change) and OWN that "Bump's Daddy". Revel in your early pregger happy tweeness... pretty soon it will be "THAT BASTARD THAT DID THIS TO ME!!!" (or is that just me? )

OP, this would be like me not having a drink because DH had heart surgery and doesn't drink now.

Not gonna happen.

Or cheese, or crisps.

Sorry, forgot to say YABU.

I think poor BumpsMummy has run for the hills.

I love curryeater.

OP, assuming you're genuine, welcome and let me show you how you should have worded that post to ensure a response that you are indeed being perfectly reasonable:

"I'm pregnant and really missing having a drink and some of my favourite foods right now. Bloody DP is sat next to me having a beer and I'm so pissed off that he can't even save it for when he's at the pub and at least empathise a bit which how I feel. Should I LTB?"

yuk to 'bump daddy'.

and YABU. Sorry, but if you can't cope with the sight of someone else have a beer or two then you have a BIG problem with booze.

of course if he is getting drunk every night, he has a problem too. In that case you both need to sort your lives out before the child is born. You will both need to be sober when you are getting two hours sleep a night..

Blimey, nest of vipers, anyone?

Take off those judgey-pants and be nice!

i don't think you're being unreasonable. I was a NIGHTMARE when I was pregnant: i didn't eat in any restaurants because of the smoke (in the days before the smoking ban) and refused to use perfume because it contains alcohol (I now realise this was ridiculous). But I think what you've asked for is perfectly reasonable :). You're having to endure 9 months of (what was for me) agony and low self esteem, the least he can do is honour your dietary wishes! Although if you go out for a meal then it is unreasonable to say he shouldn't drink then. (does that make sense?).

i don't understand the bitterness towards men for not suffering when a woman is pregnant. How will them being miserable lesson your misery in any way? Surely you love them so want them to enjoy themselves if they can. I know one nct nutter lady who insisted her DH got up with her every time she bf'd thru the night, to just sit next to her. Why? so everyone was sleep deprived. She would say resentfully 'why should he get away with it' and i just think that level competitive pettiness is the wrong attitude to have.

Before you get pregnant you know the effect on your body, you also have choices. I chose to drink the odd beer/glass of wine. I also ate most things. I gave up mussels and DH ordered them often and slurped them in front of me. Was i bitter? um no. Why should he go without thru a choice of my own.

IF on the other hand he has said to you he doesn't want you touching a drop of booze, then i would possibly say that he give up too. But if he's left the decision up to you, then surely it has nothing to do with whether he has a drink.

I just hate this kind of 'professional' mother martyrdom.

This post reminds me of being pregnant and going upstairs for a bath, deciding I wanted a glass of water, coming downstairs, opening the kitchen cupboard for a glass and finding a full glass of red wine stood there next to the clean glasses. DH had hidden it, and then hidden himself, when he heard me coming in case I was upset or jealous. I wasn't. :-S

oh and the non alcy becks vier is quite nice, so if you are having a takeaway curry, with the strong flavours of the food, i doubt you'd notice it isn't the good stuff.