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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think DS gave a good reply to a rude woman

203 replies

HollyBerryBush · 05/06/2013 23:01

In short. Full bus. Heavily pregnant woman got on with push chair. DS was sitting in the adjacent buggy/luggage seat.

He got up and said "would you like my seat?" (she was parking her buggy)

She said "oh just fuck right off"

He said "I'm so sorry, I thought you were pregnant now I realise you are just fat and rude and I apologise for thinking your need might be greater than mine"

disclaimer< he can tell the difference between post natal baby belly and a 9 month distended stomach in a crop top.

disclaimer 2< I do realise he is legally a child himself, but his height, build and hairiness pitches him mid 20's.

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 06/06/2013 17:36

I'd love that. There I am, minding my own business on the bus and the OP's son who's 17 but looks older, calls an aggressive woman fat and then uses me as a human shield.

If that's what really happened...

olgaga · 06/06/2013 18:32

Does no one think she must have misheard him? It's such an odd response.

That's for sure. I agree with other posters - this is an imaginary scenario, designed to seek attention and test whether or not the behaviour would gain approval.

It's just too unlikely.

So what your DS was actually saying, OP, was "If I said this, would you approve?"

OP I'm afraid that unlike your son, you seem rather lacking in imagination!

funkybuddah · 06/06/2013 18:44

I think it's a good response, she was rude. If you tell someone to Fuck off especially when they have been nice, expect some rudeness back.
Being pregnant had nothing to do with it, it's not an illness you are not exempt from being taken to task (hate when people use pregnancy as an excuse, I had stressful pregnancies but still expected people to treat me like they always had)

chunkythighs · 06/06/2013 19:17

Reminds me of the time when I saw a bloke park across not one but two disabled car spaces-sans badge no less! (Mumsnet gold).

I pointed out what he did. His response was to tell me that he could do what he fucking wanted. My response? "My apologies, I thought you were stupid. I didn't realise you were an ignorant prick!"

I was and still am so proud for thinking of it there and then and not an hour later!!

My vote is for your son OP

cees · 06/06/2013 19:54

Well done to your son, she was a nasty bitch.

MamaMumra · 06/06/2013 22:31

That made me laugh Grin
Teach me next please Holly

UrbaneLandlord · 07/06/2013 00:05

The heavily pregnant woman was quite wrong and your DS was entirely justified in making that reply.

OK, he's got his own back, which is fair enough. But he's descended to the level of the heavily pregnant woman: does he really want to live his life down at that level (even on rare occasions like this)? So far, he's actually validated the poor woman's dark view of a world full of hate & pain.

He could have done even better. He could have said something like "Oh right, I'll take that as a "No" then". But I really do hope you're OK, you look after yourself."

This combines assertiveness (important!) with kindness and humour. Everyone on the bus who overheard the conversation would have thought "Wow! Whataguy!" And most important of all, when she got home and reflected on her day, the woman would have repented at her leisure.

blueemerald · 07/06/2013 00:32

Two rude people met and were rude to each other. The End.

StuntGirl · 07/06/2013 00:36

blueemerald Grin

cumfy · 07/06/2013 01:14

Is there any chance her invective was precipitated by a late offer of the seat ?

It does seem an odd thing to come out with.

IsThisAGoodIdea · 07/06/2013 01:25

Blueemerald, well said.

I find it quite odd that anyone would come up with such a caustic reponse without missing a beat like that. Wouldn't you just be shocked and embarrassed? Or at the most say "No need to be so rude" or something? Especially coming from a teenage boy, I don't find it impressive at all. Does he always have a ready stock of insults within his grasp? Nothing to be proud of their OP.

The woman's response was clearly bizarrely rude. There simply must have been more to it.

Honestly? They sound as bad as each other.

blueemerald · 07/06/2013 01:28

Although the son was nice to begin with. Wish he could have kept the moral high ground.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 07/06/2013 01:37

Well, nobody is obliged to simply accept being told to 'fuck off', special needs or not.

However, given that the thread was started HollyBerryBush, well, meh, I just don't believe the story. She long-since ceased to have any credibility on here at all, and my reaction is just to think this is a fabrication.

IsThisAGoodIdea · 07/06/2013 03:38

It did occur to me it wasn't true actually. Or that it is a heavily edited version of what happened. It just doesn't ring true - the comments made by either party.

Selba · 07/06/2013 04:17

Agree with neo and olgaga.
If it happened as described the woman was very rude ( stating the obvious here)
If he responded as claimed I would not be in the least proud of him. There are better ( and cleverer ) ways to handle rude unreasonable people than to stoop to their level with a cheap insult.

TheSecondComing · 07/06/2013 10:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwattyBunting · 07/06/2013 11:39

What utter bollocks.

Sallystyle · 07/06/2013 11:47

Perhaps she wasn't pregnant and just fat and thought he was taking the piss.

Nah, very unlikely. I wouldn't be proud of my son for coming back with that. Kill the rude arseholes with kindness and never go down to their level.

SpecialAgentTattooedQueen · 07/06/2013 12:49

Being proud of your son for being nasty and in front of a child, then cowardly hiding behind other seats therefore possibly risking injury to said person/people? That screams spoiled brat to me, not witty and certainly not mature. Just a bully.

Noticed OP hasn't come back... Hmm

Holly, I think you need to work on your parenting skills. Being 'proud' of your son for not only being nasty but childish isn't something to be proud of. Sounds like the smart mouth needs to grow up before he learns a life lesson... Or is he only okay to dish out the personal insults to women? Confused

Also, if he was able to hide in seats behind other people, why were you sitting there anyway? Hmm

Yes, non existent pregnant lady was rude, but your son was an immature brat. I hope by 17 my DTS is more mature than this attention seeker.

ApocalypseThen · 07/06/2013 16:27

What I can't see is how the response could be seen as sarcastic.

limitedperiodonly · 07/06/2013 17:11

Holly, I think you need to work on your parenting skills...Or is he only okay to dish out the personal insults to women?

Wise words. Enquiring minds need to know. Expect to be asked wherever you turn up holly

Louise1956 · 07/06/2013 17:38

I think it was a good response. nobody should be rude when offered a seat.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 07/06/2013 19:11

DonDrapers Why? What happened?

fallon8 · 07/06/2013 19:32

What a gastly child...and you think it's ok for him to speak to people like that

MyBaby1day · 08/06/2013 06:29

He did the right thing, she will swear at the wrong person one day hope she does. No excuse at all.