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Original poster

I think DS gave a good reply to a rude woman

203 replies

HollyBerryBush · 05/06/2013 23:01

In short. Full bus. Heavily pregnant woman got on with push chair. DS was sitting in the adjacent buggy/luggage seat.

He got up and said "would you like my seat?" (she was parking her buggy)

She said "oh just fuck right off"

He said "I'm so sorry, I thought you were pregnant now I realise you are just fat and rude and I apologise for thinking your need might be greater than mine"

disclaimer< he can tell the difference between post natal baby belly and a 9 month distended stomach in a crop top.

disclaimer 2< I do realise he is legally a child himself, but his height, build and hairiness pitches him mid 20's.

OP posts:
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 06/06/2013 09:19

Paradise that's it exactly. There's no point (or glory) in lowering yourself.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 06/06/2013 09:20

Lol at Moomin the Razor Queen! Grin But I don't believe she needed to be told....she won't go home and regret her words no....but she MIGHT have retaliated violently to a comment about her weight. And it's just not worth the risk...AND it's not on to spread bad Karma man.

Loulybelle · 06/06/2013 09:24

He could have said it differently, but he was right to call her on her behaviour.

Sometimes people are just arseholes, and need reminding sometimes.

changeling1234 · 06/06/2013 09:25

Haven't read the whole thread but I can't believe that anyone thinks it's ok to tell someone one to fuck off for offering them a seat.

I think your DS was quite right to be rude back - maybe it will make her think twice next time before being so offensive.

And the most shocking thing about this story is that some people think she was ok to say that and your DS was in the wrong. There are some very odd people on here these days.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 06/06/2013 09:28

Changeling. Well read the whole thread then, and then you will see noone said it was OK for her to say it Hmm

Moominsarehippos · 06/06/2013 09:34

I wouldn't have said she was fat though... Personal insults is opening a whole door or shit!

I saw a fight at the weekend. 2 strangers. One chased the other us the street and just started screaming at him:

Angry man 1 (young black man): what'd you do that for? You made me look racist in front of my friends!
Slightly worried man 1 (asian): eh?
AM1 - yeah, what did you do that for?
SW1 - dunno what you're talking about
AM1 - rant rant rant, waving arms about
SW1 - why don't you fuck off
AM1 - why don't you fuck of??
Repeat last two lines with more and more puffing out the chest and finger waggling.

A crowd descended, surrounded AM1, and SW1 was escourted across the road by two women.

They just couldn't stop. Neither was going to back down and it was coming to a head. Someone was going to be spitting out teeth. Now whether anything had happened - real or imagined is anyone's guess.

You can't assume that anyone isn't carrying some sort or weapon these days, but we do need to try to ensure that randon strangers can't start abusing people for little/no reason. Yes, they will come across the wrong person one day and I'd rather it was just a sarky put down than being stalked and having acid thrown in their face (as happened to a woman who dared to ask some teenagers to keep the noise down in a cinema).

SPsCliffingAllOverMN · 06/06/2013 09:35

Is all this 'he was a smart arse' all because he is a he and he said it to a pregnant woman?

Had it have been a man with a pram who told a 17 year old girl to fuck off would she have been cheered because she stuck up to a man?

17 or not well done him for telling her.

fuzzywuzzy · 06/06/2013 09:45

I actually dont think he was rude back to her, he replied quite articulately and refrained from swearing at her.

I'm on the good for him side.

IT's reactions like this that put otherwise polite people from acts of kindness in case they get abused for it, far better to hide behind the paper/ipod/feign sleep than risk being sworn and yelled at in public for bein a nice person.

I went thro a horrendous period in my life, acts of random kindness were greatly appreciated and accepted with profuse thanks particularly during this time, I still remember some of those strangers now years after the fact and think a happy thought for them.

Pregnancy is most certainly no excuse for rudeness, I had a toddler and was heavily pregnant and used public transport at one point in my life too, none of this reduced me to a rude, sweary ingrate.

bluestar2 · 06/06/2013 09:52

When did it become ok to ignore rudeness? If everyone challenged behaviour like hers a little more often perhaps people wouldn't feel it was ok to be so rude in first place.

His response would be slightly more dignified without the fat bit but well done in challenging her rudeness and its nice to see some people do still have manners and common decency to offer a seat to someone more in need.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 06/06/2013 09:52

No..the "he was a smart arse"is because he responded with a petty insult about her weight, I assume.

olgaga · 06/06/2013 09:56

SP I have never defended the rude lady. I have nothing to say about the rude lady. That's not the issue.

Some people are just bloody rude and unpleasant, for whatever reason - or for absolutely no reason at all.

That doesn't mean it's clever or admirable to be rude back. That's nothing to be proud of.

OP's son made himself look as rude and unpleasant as the rude lady. The right response in this situation was to move and ignore her rudeness.

I bet OPs DS wouldn't have been such a smart arse if it had been a man, not a woman, who had been rude to him.

SPsCliffingAllOverMN · 06/06/2013 09:59

She was rude for no reason. He offered her a seat that is all. So he had every right to be rude back if he wanted. I wouldn't have ignored her telling me to fuck off for no reason.

Had he had said 'oi fatty, want this seat' then her response probably would have been allowed Grin but he didn't

TheSecondComing · 06/06/2013 10:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlueberryHill · 06/06/2013 10:03

Quite a few people are saying that the OPs son was rude, quite a few of these posters, not all, seem to think it is fine for them to call a stranger obnoxious, rude, arrogant, smug, cocky over the safety of the internet. Slight case of double standards I think.

I'm not sure I would have done the same thing, but I quite liked your son's response. He should maybe consider that it may not be wise if someone will kick off though.

madmayday · 06/06/2013 10:21

Good on him. The only reason he should have held his tongue was out of self-preservation. But sod considering her feelings after she was so bloody rude - he tried to do her a good deed and she threw it back in his face, so quite frankly I think he was within his rights!

Honestly, there are some people on here that truly believe that women can do no wrong and have an excuse ready for any bad behaviour from their fellow females. What bollocks - if it had been one of your 17 year old daughter's calling a rude, sweary man "rude and fat", the only reason people would have been telling her off for saying it would be out of concern for her personal safety (should the man decide to attack her). I bet not one person would have said; "but maybe he was having a bad day/was mentally ill/recently bereaved/etc". Nope - the general consensus would have been that he was being an arsehole and deserved it, but that she shouldn't say things like that for her own safety, in case he turned on her. There would have been no consideration for the man's "feelings" whatsoever.

I think there are some posters on here who will always cast the woman in the victim role.

olgaga · 06/06/2013 10:26

I would like to make it clear that I do not see this woman as a victim. I simply think meeting rudeness with rudeness is not the right response.

All it is ever likely to do is escalate the situation.

There's nothing clever about that!

KellyElly · 06/06/2013 10:33

If you took the fat bit out then yes. He brought himself down to her level by insulting her. Surely a good MN response would have been 'did you mean to be so rude?' Grin

crashdoll · 06/06/2013 10:45

I don't know why some people assume that because some of us think the OP's son was wrong that it means we think the lady was in the right. Confused She was exceptionally rude, he was a smart arse back.

fuzzywuzzy · 06/06/2013 10:48

I think rude people need to be pulled up on their behaviour, maybe he shouldn't have called her fat, but she did need a firm reply. Quietly slipping away is accepting her behaviour and her behaviour was not acceptable.

He did not engage in argument and disappeared in the crowd after his own reply.
Good for him.

trackies · 06/06/2013 10:51

lol brilliant

TantrumsAndBalloons · 06/06/2013 10:54

I really really hope I have bought my children up in such a way that if someone tells them to fuck right off, for doing something nice, then they call them on it.

Because to be honest we will never ever know if the rude woman was "having a bad day" or quite simply just a cunt.

Because people are cunts for no reason other than that is what they are.

You can sit there and come up with a million reasons why she was rude. But then I can do the same thing for the shits who broke into my mums house. Maybe they were having a bad day. Maybe they had mental health problems? Maybe they needed to steal my mums jewellery for some other reason I cannot think of.

But actually no. The point is there are people who think they can do and say whatever they please. Why should no one respond to them? Or are we supposed to say "no thats ok, speak to me how you want. Just in case you are having a bad day?"

ParadiseChick · 06/06/2013 10:57

No one has cast her as a victim!

crashdoll · 06/06/2013 11:01

Of course this lady needed pulling up on her behaviour. He could have done it with more dignity though and not ended up looking like a smart-arse teenage boy.

MsJupiterJones · 06/06/2013 11:37

Does no one think she must have misheard him? It's such an odd response. Either that or she had really held on to her pg bump.

Of course there is no excuse if she did hear him but that's no reason to be pleased he was so nasty back. Sarcasm would just be saying the last bit about thinking her need was greater. The rest was not, it was just unpleasant. I would be very disappointed if my son or daughter told me they had spoken to someone like that, whatever the provocation.

Leavenheath · 06/06/2013 12:02

Newsflash:

HollyBerryBush has raised a son who's almost as contemptuous of women as his mum!!

Who'd have thought it, eh?

Not that any of this happened.

Just another excuse to get women frothing about the behaviour of other women. Especially pregnant women who wear crop tops.