Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think DS gave a good reply to a rude woman

203 replies

HollyBerryBush · 05/06/2013 23:01

In short. Full bus. Heavily pregnant woman got on with push chair. DS was sitting in the adjacent buggy/luggage seat.

He got up and said "would you like my seat?" (she was parking her buggy)

She said "oh just fuck right off"

He said "I'm so sorry, I thought you were pregnant now I realise you are just fat and rude and I apologise for thinking your need might be greater than mine"

disclaimer< he can tell the difference between post natal baby belly and a 9 month distended stomach in a crop top.

disclaimer 2< I do realise he is legally a child himself, but his height, build and hairiness pitches him mid 20's.

OP posts:
auntmargaret · 05/06/2013 23:23

But if no-one calls her on it, the cycle of unkindness continues.

saintmerryweather · 05/06/2013 23:23

sooo if im having a bad day im allowed to get away with saying what i want ESPECIALLY if im preggers? good to know.

WorraLiberty · 05/06/2013 23:24

She may have just had terrible news...she may have been mentally ill...there is never a good reason to be nasty to someone and no...not even if they've said mean things to you first.

If there's never a good reason to be nasty to someone, why are you trying your hardest to excuse her nastiness? Confused

And as for..... Especially not to a pregnant woman. Not at all!

Why? Does getting pregnant make you a superior human being or something?

If you're going to tell someone to fuck off when they're being nice to you, you should expect a similar response....pregnant or not.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/06/2013 23:24

Treacle but that's YOU. NOt her and not many others. And the DS was wrong to call the woman fat in front of her child. So what if the woman swears like that in front of her child....it does not make it right to respond in kind....not where children are listening. Sad And as I say, her "Oh fuck off" was a weird response...indicative of an imbalanced personality and not one which should have been given back to her.

saintmerryweather · 05/06/2013 23:24

neo - she could just be an arsehole in which case hollys son would be justified in what he said

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/06/2013 23:25

Worra because as I said, her response was just weird...not normal...therefore one might assume that she was having some kind of reaction to a terrible thing. Very bad news or mental illness.

ouryve · 05/06/2013 23:26

You've raised a good mumsnetter there :o

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/06/2013 23:26

Saint no....in my opinion it is never right to reduce yourself to the level of an arsehole.

saintmerryweather · 05/06/2013 23:27

do you honestly really feel that the question 'do you want my seat' can ever be justified with a fuck off?

Pilgit · 05/06/2013 23:27

He sounds lovely! When I was truly, horribly fat a very nice young man got up and offered me his seat on a london bus because he thought I was pregnant. Because that was a lovely thing to do and done for the right reasons I spent the next 15 minutes having a conversation about my phantom pregnancy. It was mortifying for me but that doesn't mean it should be mortifying for him for being polite. it was one of the things that finally made me lose the blubber......

WorraLiberty · 05/06/2013 23:27

Neo it does not give her the right to swear at people

And actually I'd rather her child grew up knowing there are consequences to being so nasty...rather than everyone pussy footing around her.

WorraLiberty · 05/06/2013 23:28

You've raised a good mumsnetter there

I wonder if Olivia got on the bus and said ? Grin

MalcolmTuckersMum · 05/06/2013 23:29

We're you the fat woman with the potty-gob then neo?

MalcolmTuckersMum · 05/06/2013 23:30

Bloody phone. WERE not we're.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/06/2013 23:30
Hmm
Original poster
HollyBerryBush · 05/06/2013 23:31

There are many ifs, buts and maybes in life. If someone does you a kind deed and you decide to rebut that offer then you deserve it paid back.

I knew the "if/but" responses would arrive ...so if/but the woman had no issues if/but Ds had a MH issue and her response had triggered a response to his hypothetical mental illness/bad day?

I think he played it with his usual dead pan panache, he's very subtle in his style.

OP posts:
pigletmania · 05/06/2013 23:32

Neo that is no excuse to be rude, I don't recal being regnant as a invitation to say or do what you want. He did not swear or shout at her, but have a very clever and measured answer, why should we take rudeness whoever it's from!

treaclesoda · 05/06/2013 23:33

Well, I've thought about this situation. One in four people (I think its something like that, I've heard that figure bandied around) have suffered a mental illness at some point in their lives, but one in four people don't go round telling kindly strangers to fuck off, so I'm inclined to think that mental illness had nothing to do with it, and she was quite possibly just rather rude. In which case, I don't feel there is any moral or social obligation to continue being polite to her. Just my own logic there though. and I know it doesn't stand up to scrutiny but honestly, I've known many people with mental illness and none of them have verbally abused strangers

missingmumxox · 05/06/2013 23:35

I just have this mental image of a women talking into her phone via blue tooth, and her "Oh just fuck right off" being directed at someone else and your poor son being the unwitting listener on this.
however he was polite, but cutting, so whilst I would not condone this behaviour (yes I would) good for him

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 05/06/2013 23:36

If I'd been on the bus and witnessed that, I may have instigated a round of applause for your ds.

Tooawesomeforausername · 05/06/2013 23:36

Brilliant, not just for offering his seat, but putting the rude biatch in her place!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/06/2013 23:37

Treacle "rather rude" would be something like a short "No!" whereas "Oh fuck off!" is unbalanced. And your figures about mental illness are bollocks...I am sure that you're corrrect about the amount of people who suffer MH issue but just because it's one in four that does not then mean that one if four people will be horribly rude!

There are all kinds of MH issues. From mild depression right through to much more serious ones.

CartwrightMiss · 05/06/2013 23:37

Why on MN is everything excuse by saying "you are being unreasonable because they might have -

"Special needs, depression, anxiety issue, mental health issues"

No, some people are just bloody rude and deserve the repercussion of their words and actions.

WorraLiberty · 05/06/2013 23:40

Neo your take on 'rather rude' and 'imbalanced' is just that... your take

There are many areas in the UK where people regularly tell people to fuck off and it has little to do with mental illness.

More to do with them being an ill mannered cunt.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/06/2013 23:40

Well it's about having a thought for others Cartwright. I just don't think that problems get solved by nastiness. Yes...some people are horrible, downright mean and rude and nasty but I would never respond in kind...far better to be kind again or to walk away. Better for you and everyone else.

Swipe left for the next trending thread