I think DS gave a good reply to a rude woman

[HollyBerryBush]

In short. Full bus. Heavily pregnant woman got on with push chair. DS was sitting in the adjacent buggy/luggage seat.

He got up and said "would you like my seat?" (she was parking her buggy)

She said "oh just fuck right off"

He said "I'm so sorry, I thought you were pregnant now I realise you are just fat and rude and I apologise for thinking your need might be greater than mine"

disclaimer< he can tell the difference between post natal baby belly and a 9 month distended stomach in a crop top.

disclaimer 2< I do realise he is legally a child himself, but his height, build and hairiness pitches him mid 20's.

Harsh! But hell did she deserve every last word.

Ah, I was joking about the 'rather rude', of course it was way beyond rather rude. And I know that one in four people having mental health problems does not mean one in four people being rude. That's what I said in my post. What I meant was that if three out of four people don't suffer from mental health problems, then its actually more likely that she was just being rude, than that her abuse was 'caused' by a mental health problem.

So were you even there or are you just taking his word for it?

But I didn't explain myself well in my earlier post.

No treacle your figures are all guesses. Whatever the reason behind her reaction, it would have been better to ignore. Only if someone is being attacked physically would I ever advocate retaliation.

Good on him, she was incredibly rude. If she'd been polite to him and he'd told her to fuck off everyone would have been up in arms about the youth of today and he'd have been chucked off the bus.

I think your son was fucking fabulous Holly, both in his original offer, and his response to her.
If a total stranger offers a kindness, there is no excuse for a "fuck off" response, no matter how hormonal, stressed, distressed or even bereaved you are.
None.

Do you think the pregnant woman could have been a fellow mumsnetter?!

Well done to your ds for replying so quickly, pregnancy shouldnt be an excuse for rudeness. I have had 2 dc myself and was never that rude to anyone.

God I was a lone light in a wilderness there for a while. At last! ONE supporter!

I do think violence is a worry and for that reason I would ALWAYS encourage young people to avoid arguments with strangers. People have been stabbed for less. So being a peace loving hippy aside I jsut don't think it's wise.

Why can't someone be rude r nasty because they ar not a particularly nice person, without the cries f depression or special needs

I know my figures are all guesses , I was half joking to make my point. But what it comes down to, for me, is that personally I have never associated mental illness with verbally abusing strangers, so it certainly wouldn't be the assumption I would reach if someone randomly told someone else to fuck off. I would just conclude that they were being rude, because to me its a much more likely explanation.

Someone asked that upthread piglet. They CAN be rude and nasty without sn but it's not nice to respond in kind. It's just pointless and it feeds the hate and the bad energy.

instead of putting more bad energy out there, why not just let the nasty comment die where it falls?

But yes, I do take your point about not antagonising people because you don't know how they will react.

Treacle I disagree. But MH issues aside, as I said it's of no use putting more nastiness out there...all it does is invite another nasty response.

Ah, so you're advocating self-preservation rather than the placating of the perpetrator of bad behaviour?

I'm clearly in the majority, but the reply really doesn't strike me as particularly clever or commendable. The woman may well have been unhinged/uncouth/ mentally disturbed, but the 17 year old sounds like something of a smart-arse.

Oops minority, not majority!

Well, I understand your point of view, but I see it as a positive that he pointed out that her behaviour was unacceptable.

Bewitched both.

I'd be horrified if any child of mine behaved like such s smug disrespectful smartarse.

Nothing at all to be proud of .

How does politely offering someone your seat translate to "smug, disrespectful smartarse"?