To ask if this sounds like negligence?

[GadaboutTheGreat]

DD (14 months) took a bit of a tumble at the childminders today, apparently she fell down the step onto the decking in the garden. Childminder couldn't reach her in time due to helping another mindee.
I got an accident form from the childminder & full explanation & apology, but DH is v unhappy and thinks it's either negligence or at the very least not child-friendly. I think that accidents happen, although of course was concerned when I saw her.
DD is fine now, just has a few scratches.

Would you take this further, ask for more safety measures etc?

You sound like you are starting to agree with him OP.

My ds2 fell over his laces into a lamp post and ended up with a lump on his forehead. In my care. Which, technically I could have prevented by noticing that his laces were undone.

Doesn't mean I am negligent though.

My own thread is making me a bit depressed tbh

Of course there is prevention for falling off a sofa !

Don't put a toddler on a sofa and turn your back for a millisecond

There is always something a little kid will find to damage themselves on...they seem to gravitate towards the obstacles as if by telekinesis

Who could live like that though ?

the rest of the world accepts and understands this, and takes reasonable measures to prevent it

That is the difference, IMO

I asked you earlier if your husband makes you feel a bit shit about anything else. You didn't reply.

AF I do agree with you. I have real trouble expressing this to DH

Oh, I could go on and on

my baby dd rolled off the bed when I was changing her...happens to lots of people

17 years ago

she got her little red wellies stuck in the mud once, and went flat on her face in brambles

terrible mother and protector of children, me

would I accept my husband implying that though ? Would I fuck..

I am sorry, Gadabout, I don't mean to push or pry.

my H has done some daft things too

the day he gave dd a full strawberry and it got stuck in her windpipe

that's a memorable one

shit, my FIL came to the hospital to see newborn ds and actually dropped him and re-caught him before he hit the floor

had forgotten that one

Perhaps being in the care of a CM makes it easier to lay blame if accidents happen. I'm sure he wouldn't imply I'm negligent if DD did the same here, so what's the difference?

I'm a childminder and I'm glad I don't have you as my parents accidents do (occasionally) happen, your CM dealt with it well and for what it's worth if she's anything like me she's already beating herself up about it!

And as for the step, I presume when you were settling your DC with this CM, you had a good look around her setting?

Crazycake if you've read all my posts you'll see I don't think this accident was an issue at all. It's my DH who's blown it out of proportion. Of course I noticed the step when we first went.

there is no difference

accidents happen

what is he like with waitresses and taxi drivers (for example) ?

does he look down on people he feels are "inferior" to him, or see them as his subordinates ?

IMO, the people who you trust to look after your children cannot be seen as such

gadabout I only said that because you said earlier that he was making you feel as if you didn't care about DDs safety because of this.
And you wasn't even there.
So it just made me think how he would react if something minor happened whilst she was in your care.

Sorry if I am prying or reading things that aren't there IYSWIM

It just seems an extreme reaction. And to make you feel bad just seems plain wrong.

TAB, we are dancing round a big elephant in the room here

I know AF

I hope the OP doesn't feel as if I am trying to accuse her DH of anything. But I think it's very wrong that the OP is made to feel as if she doesn't care about her DDs safety when this was an accident.

And I can't help but think this is not the only time she has been made to feel she is doing something wrong.

you and me both, TAB

this feels like one of those threads that starts off as a relatively minor thing

but really isn't

It never really is though is it?

I always think for it to get to the point where you need other people to look at a situation objectively and confirm what you already know, then it's probably the last straw in a list of things.

indeed

hope you are ok, OP

I already replied about the waitress/taxi driver thing AF. He's not like that at all.

I am sorry if I missed your reply, love

Do you see my point though ?

Is he like it with you though OP?

Because when my DCs have had accidents at home, at school, playing out, whatever, no one has blamed anyone else. Or tried to make someone feel like they do not care enough because they aren't getting worked up over it.

I do. And I agree. But DH is not that type.
He is a worrier. Not an arse.

You say you're a SAHM. Does DH want your DD to go to a childminder?

And accidents happen. DD shoved a bit of pencil up her nose last year whilst DH and I were in the same room. One GA later . . .