To ask if this sounds like negligence?

[GadaboutTheGreat]

DD (14 months) took a bit of a tumble at the childminders today, apparently she fell down the step onto the decking in the garden. Childminder couldn't reach her in time due to helping another mindee.
I got an accident form from the childminder & full explanation & apology, but DH is v unhappy and thinks it's either negligence or at the very least not child-friendly. I think that accidents happen, although of course was concerned when I saw her.
DD is fine now, just has a few scratches.

Would you take this further, ask for more safety measures etc?

He never wants this to happen again? Seriously? When ds 1 was between the ages of 1 and 2 i think he had a permanently bruised forehead! Obviously i didn't want it to happen, but lively inquisitive toddlers will get plenty of bumps and scrapes. Of course you could keep them permanently clamped to your hand or strapped in a buggy but that's not going to do them any long term good at all.

Perhaps your DH would spend his time better by opposing the new Government Guidelines that say childminders will be able to look after MORE children. What will he do then - take your DD away from the CM?

God help him when your DD goes to school. I've just had yet another letter home form school about an incident where my DD (5) was sitting on the grass at playtime and another child wasn't looking where they were going and ran into her. She has a nice black eye.

Would your DH think that was negligent? What about illness and the dreaded chicken pox, just got that out of the way too.

OPs DH sorry but you really need to get a grip you are not doing your daughter any favours by helicoptering her like this.
How long seriously are you going to make her stay within arms reach? 5? 10? longer? An important part of growing for children is them learning to manage risks on their own. Heart stopping for us as parents but an imperative skill to learn. Much as we would love to protect them from everything, we won't be around forever so we have to teach them to be successfully independant.

Wow! I'm always receiving accident slips from DD's nursery as she's a climber (but only good going up, falls coming down!). I don't blame them, it's just an accident & she's adventurous. The worst accident happened whilst I was in the room with her. She climbed into my table, fell off & needed her head glued! Sometimes you can't stop these things from happening. Tell your DH to get a grip!

Any parent feels bad when their child hurts themselves in their care but I think your DH is going to go into full on meltdown when it happens to him

I don't need to reiterate just how much these things happen. DD has walked into and caught her head on the open car door twice this week, despite it being open for a while and me both me and DP thought she was looking where she was going!

at 14m I guess she hasn't been walking for all that long, so a bump seems like a big deal, in a few months it really won't.
In the past week I've had slips home from school saying that DD1 has walked into the door and bashed her face falling off a chair....

I'm with the majority, a grip needs to be located for your DH.

Littlies fall all the time - and IME it is part of their learning experience and they'll do it even on a permanently flat surface. But, also, childminders work from home. Their home is meant to be suitably safe, but it's not supposed to be a padded box. You can't realistically expect every single step to be closed off - heck most people have one at every door of their house. The CM will have had her home inspected and the inspector will have been happy that the significant risks are guarded against. Falling down a single step isn't one of them.

Thanks for the replies. I know full well DH needs to get a grip, but unfortunately this kind of neurosis runs in the family. Our DNephews are so unbelievably cotton-wooled it makes me sad for them. I thought DH and I were on the same page until having DD

I think some people are forgetting how terrible the first few bad bumps your child gets feel. If he's still complaining in 6 months time he has a problem, but now he is just a fairly new parent who doesn't understand how often bumps happen to toddlers. DH and I both felt dreadful about DS's worst falls for the first few months he was walking, but we're calmer now. I have to force myself not to be a helicopter parent though, it doesn't come naturally to everyone to let them fall, especially with PFB.

My ds has had glue in his head, his eyebrow, a burn and a finger injury and he is only 4. I sometimes wonder if his medical records scream "negligent mother" but he genuinely is just 100mph, into everything and accident prone. They would never let me be a childminder.

Hope your dd is ok and DH calms down.

Have you only got the one? I think it helps break down the cotton-wool feeling when you're regularly in sole charge of more than one!

My 2nd child fell over at the park today and bit his tongue. Blood everywhere. I wasn't that close to him, so felt really bad, but really he tripped over his own foot and was unlucky to bite himself. That's all.

Maybe you could suggest a regular DD/DH bonding time, 3 hours at the park every week - I'm sure she'll have an accident while he is watching her eventually!

Accidents happen. DD1 still has a scar which she received on her second day at nursery. She was 13 months and she tripped, hitting her head on a cupboard. I confess that DH and I were a little alarmed at the time, but it never crossed ourinds that the nursery were negligent. Toddlers fall all the time.

I'm still waiting to hear what your gripless DH is expecting to happen next :-/

Hi Gad - you said in an earlier post that you're a SAHM. Was just wondering how your DH felt about your DD going to the childminder if you're at home. D'you think he could be hoping that you'll say you won't send her again? It does sound like he'd prefer her to never leave your house!

One of my mindees fell over their other day walking on grass. Flat grass. He's twelve months. I've also had mindees who bump doorframes or bonk themselves with a toy.

Wtf?

So some men do fuck all with their DC's yet when an accident happens come over all the big I am?

And some women are ok with this and pander to their wankiness?

it would appear so, Ezza

I was once watching a friend's 13-month-old: sitting next to her on the floor. She jumped up and pushed the TV off the stand onto his foot. A bone broke in a toe. I could not have been closer to her but the accident still happened.

Charming Ezza He does plenty of stuff with DD.

I believe DH has the right intentions but is severely misguided in his reactions. He thinks he's right, I know think I'm right

My neice (about 18 months old) once did a slow motion somersault from the sofa as I was sat on the floor next to her

my arms attempted to catch her because I was close enough, but missed (and probably made her land more awkwardly, tbh)

she broke her collarbone

in my care ! shock, horror !

did my sister blame me ? Nope.

who will "win" here, OP

are you going to quit the childminder ?

there is no compromise really, is there

she can't partly attend the childminder

she goes, or she doesn't

Does he look after her alone? Or even interact with her at home?
Because it seems hard to believe that he can possibly think she will never have an accident at home.

If she was to fall over and cut herself whilst at home with you, would he accuse you of being negligent? Because...again, she will have minor bumps and scrapes. At some point in the future. So will he make you feel that's your fault?

AF I think the difference here is that a step down to the garden is an obvious obstacle for just-walking DC. There is no preventative measures that could be taken for falling off a sofa.

That would be DH's arguing point anyway.