To ask if this sounds like negligence?

[GadaboutTheGreat]

DD (14 months) took a bit of a tumble at the childminders today, apparently she fell down the step onto the decking in the garden. Childminder couldn't reach her in time due to helping another mindee.
I got an accident form from the childminder & full explanation & apology, but DH is v unhappy and thinks it's either negligence or at the very least not child-friendly. I think that accidents happen, although of course was concerned when I saw her.
DD is fine now, just has a few scratches.

Would you take this further, ask for more safety measures etc?

A gate for one step... A little step out into the garden? I think your DH is ring ridiculous.

My DS goes to nursery he's been in the accident book a few times. He grazed his nose quite badly tripping over his own feet (whilst he had his hands in his pockets) onto a concrete path. That's not negligent, it's an accident. And my DS learnt a valuable lesson not to walk with his hands in his pockets and to look where he was going.

Your DD will learn to be more careful on the step, she will learn from it, that is what children do. Tell your husband to stop being ridiculous!

I was called to playschool to collect DD after a fall a year or so ago. She was 2. She has a MASSIVE bump to her head. The staff told me the didn't know what had happened - that she came in crying from the toilets. When I got there, DD screamed and showed me the corner that she had banged her head into - at the bottom of a number (5/6) of stairs. Out of the room. She had been allowed to go outside, by herself (no lock on gate), came back in and fell.

Obviously, she didn't go back there. That probably was negligence. But even so, what was I to do, other than accept their apology and insist their procedures?

What does your DH realistically think the CM should do?

Your way to deal with this is to develop some interest of your own in the evenings and weekends and get him doing sole care for his dd for several hours at a time

the man knows nothing about child care, does he?

No AF he's not that type, he does care most about DD's safety. He just doesn't understand how easily falls & bumps can happen because he doesn't let DD go further away from him than arms reach

insist their procedures were reviewed and carried out

he does not care more about your dd's safety

he just likes making a bigger song and dance about it

he is an attention seeker, and I reckon he gets something out of making you feel inferior

you have already said he has you thinking you don't take care of your dd's safety well enough

I find it difficult to believe he isn't a put down merchant in other areas too

Doesn't sound negligent to me. It is impossible for the CM to follow every child round with her hands out stretched just in case one of the them falls

He says he never wants this to happen again. Of course neither do I, but it's not something that anyone can 100% prevent is it?
That's not good enough for him it seems.

I think there's an element here of your dh wanting to follow up on something, knowing that he's not going to be the one doing it. If you say to him 'okay dh, I think you are being ridiculous but feel free to call Ofsted and ask them their thoughts, and put a complaint in writing to the CM', then he will magically decide it's not so bad after all.

Then he needs to give up work and look after dd full time himself

What other alternative is there ? (for him)

Was the back door open, or were they going outside and on the way out she toppled?

But of course it's going to happen again.

Look my ds1 is 14. In the last year alone he has broken his wrist. Sprained his ankle. Fallen off a wall (don't ask) fallen off his bike because he was trying to text and ride (again, don't ask)
All of these incidents apart from the bike happened at school. 2 by playing football. One because he was showing off to a girl.

Ds2 has also fallen off his bike, fell down 3 steps at school, fell over more times than I can count in the playground. Tripped over his laces into a lamppost. Cut his leg. Bruised from football.

Unless your DH intends to follow your dd around for the rest of her life, with his arms outstretched, accidents happen.
If you do not let your children do anything, anything at all like play in the park, run down a hill, ride a scooter, that is negligent IMHO
You absolutely cannot prevent them from doing normal things, just in case.

And, it teaches them about safety.

My ds1 will never text and ride a bike again

...and this is exactly why I would never ever want to be a CM.

Accidents happen, your DH is being ridiculous!!!

Have you shown him this thread op, so that he can see that we all think he might be over reacting just a little massively ?

Maybe he needs to take sole responsibility for your DD's 24 hour care, seen as no one else seems as responsible as him. Is he willing to give up his job to ensure her safe care?

I've been thinking about it and I think you dh might have a point.

I've a 12 month old who falls over all the time and bangs himself that life. But if the door was left open then I do think it was dangerous as any child would go towards the back down and a 14 month old is unlikely to be able to step down without support.

Out back door goes out to a patio so we don't leave it open as ds would fall out and not understand about stepping down.

We have a gate over it so the air comes in but he can't get out without help

I was just going to say the same thing as meddie and any....: maybe if he is so bothered, he will have to go give up his job and stay home with her. Dearie me, he sounds a right wally - sorry :(

Of course she's not bloody fallen over much yet - she's only 14 months. How long's she been walking for? 4 months at most, I would bet. He is in for a biiiiiiiiig shock when she gets more confident and starts climbing up and down all sorts of dangerous structures.

Did he have any role in researching/ choosing the childminder? If not, I would hazard he's just throwing his weight around a bit to show he matters.

Just trying this on for size because my DH is an over-reactor with limited sole-charge experience too... He keeps DD much closer than I do, and is must more careful about what he allows her to try.

However, when she did get hospitalised from nursery, he managed to overcome his initial anger by going in to talk to the nursery manager himself, without me there. I was worried that he would destroy our relationship with nursery in his anger about the accident, and that we wouldn't be able to send DD back. In the end (he works in Health and Safety) he did a full walk-round of the area where DD was hurt and reassured himself that it was safe enough. He built a good relationship with the staff which remains positive, even though they rarely see him. Would your DH consider going to meet the CM and see her house? Would you trust him to do it?

DD1 fell over and broke her hand. At a special school, with more staff than you can shake a stick at, on safety surfacing . The Head Teacher apologised to me, but really what is there to say? Accidents happen. Sometimes the accidents are injury free, other times not.

My 16 mo did exactly the same thing with the CM yesterday - it was a lovely day and she had the kitchen door open with one step down to decking. Dd fell over and banged her head, and we were given an incident form. We didn't think twice about it! We have a lip between our living room and conservatory and to begin with DD tripped over it all the time. Still does when she's excited and running fast.

I don't think it's in any way negligent - I imagine they'd been in and out a lot. If your DH doesn't learn to let your DD run, fall, tumble, and scrap, she's going to fall and hurt herself a lot when she's older - it's important that children learn boundaries, pain, and care at a young age.

Hope DD is ok and agree with others - tell your DH you disagree, as does everyone you've asked, and tell him to raise it himself if he has an issue.

Eep, my dyspraxic DS would give your DH conniptions! He can fall over laying down.

Don't let him make you feel bad, falling is all a part of learning and all toddlers do it. A lot.

He could always look around for a Childminder that comes with a "Zero injury guarantee" but I think he would have a hard time.

There must be a thread on MN somewhere about random accidents that have occured to toddlers. They can literally be standing still in an empty room and still manage to fall over and cut themselves.

The other week I had my back turned and DD tried to climb onto one of those little plastic kitchen stool, tipped it over and split her eyebrow open nastily. I had no idea she was capable of that - the stool is now out of reach, obviously. And like other posters, while we have lots of lips and steps in our old house and DD is confident with them 99% of the time, every now and again she will fall over. So I wouldn't in any way say it was negligent of your CM to be far enough away from your DD to not be able to catch her, that only had to be a few feet away so I doubt your DD was sprinting out of the door while the CM was ignoring her.

Is there a way you can reassure your DH that falls, bumps and bruises are just part of being a toddler?

Kids fall over, all four of my dd fall over occasionally. I really think you should chill on this one, unless of course you have any other reason not to trust your childminder?
Your dhs reaction is somewhat ott, does he have suspicisions of the cm?

Your dh is a drama queen.