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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if this sounds like negligence?

169 replies

GadaboutTheGreat · 05/06/2013 13:57

DD (14 months) took a bit of a tumble at the childminders today, apparently she fell down the step onto the decking in the garden. Childminder couldn't reach her in time due to helping another mindee.
I got an accident form from the childminder & full explanation & apology, but DH is v unhappy and thinks it's either negligence or at the very least not child-friendly. I think that accidents happen, although of course was concerned when I saw her.
DD is fine now, just has a few scratches.

Would you take this further, ask for more safety measures etc?

OP posts:
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/06/2013 14:15

I mean you'll see from these pics that some deck steps are high.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/06/2013 14:16

Oh. So she fell out of the door leading to the decking? Like one step???

Original poster
GadaboutTheGreat · 05/06/2013 14:17

She fell down the step after she'd come over the door threshold bit.

OP posts:
moogy1a · 05/06/2013 14:19

neo would you remove all steps from your home?
Toddlers have to learn to negotiate steps. And thry fall over a lot in the process!

WeAreEternal · 05/06/2013 14:22

Kids fall over.

Unless your DP expects the CM to follow your DD around like a shadow or wrap her in bubble wrap she will occasionally have accidents.

Nokidshere · 05/06/2013 14:22

As a childminder I take every precaution that I can to minimise any risks to the children I mind. They still manage to have accidents though and I have the (triplicate) paperwork to prove it!!

You can remove every risk.

Thurlow · 05/06/2013 14:24

It happens. I can't imagine there was anything the CM could have done to prevent it, no more than a parent could have done in the same situation. 16mo tripped over on the CM's patio the other day while running for the trampoline and bless them, one of the older kids made a grab for her but that just made it worse and she skidded on her back on the patio and rubbed her arm against the fence at the same time. She looked like she'd been mauled by sandpaper. But she could have tripped just the same anywhere, with anyone watching her.

Does your DH have sole care of your DD often? I don't mean that as a dig, I just think that if you spend a lot of time with a toddler you get to see how they can trip over their own shadow.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 05/06/2013 14:26

Moogy catch up. I misunderstood.

Nokidshere · 05/06/2013 14:28

Can* should have course be Can't!.

Original poster
GadaboutTheGreat · 05/06/2013 14:29

Thurlow, DH doesn't look after DD on his own very often, he works full time & weekends we are usually all together.

OP posts:
moogy1a · 05/06/2013 14:31

sorry neo

Thurlow · 05/06/2013 14:31

Maybe he's not overreacting per se, but he just doesn't quite understand how easily they trip over and how you'd need eyes in the back of your head and Mr Tickle arms to stop them every time.

Also call me a bad mum if you want but I think a few little trips and falls like that are part of the process of learning that something like a step requires care and attention to climb down.

zipzap · 05/06/2013 14:34

Time for you to go out by yourself during the weekend then and give him a chance to look after your dd and judge for himself how much running after her he wants to do...

and if this changes as he looks after her for longer or if he imagines he has several children all with the same demands but running in different directions at the same time!

oscarwilde · 05/06/2013 14:34

Refer to DH to this website and pray he doesn't take you seriously
www.kidsafetyhats.com/ Grin

Original poster
GadaboutTheGreat · 05/06/2013 14:37

Shock at those safety hats Grin

OP posts:
ipswitch · 05/06/2013 14:48

Is your DH being serious- Negligence?
What planet is he on...or is he in the legal professions?

Original poster
GadaboutTheGreat · 05/06/2013 15:06

Oh fgs I've just spoken to DH and tried to reassure him - he is not reassured at all and thinks it's not normal to fall down a step & get scratches, if it doesn't happen at home.
Confused

OP posts:
TantrumsAndBalloons · 05/06/2013 15:10

does it really never happen at home?

Original poster
GadaboutTheGreat · 05/06/2013 15:13

I don't think DD has ever had a big scratch on her face as a result of falling. She has fallen on the flat plenty of times though Smile
He suggested the childminder installs a gate on the step Hmm Even we don't have any in the house! Gah

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 05/06/2013 15:14

How often does he look after your DD on his own because he doesn't sound like someone who is experienced with toddlers at all.

CaptainJamesTKirk · 05/06/2013 15:15

Good grief... Has your DH never seen your daughter fall over before? Has she never stumbled when with him, did he consider himself negligent?

ipswitch · 05/06/2013 15:16

Your DH is really pissing me off now.

Cant imagine how you must be feeling, but what are you going to do about him?

AnyFucker · 05/06/2013 15:18

Your H sounds like the worst kind of attention-seeking, ambulance-chasing, self entitled plonker

He isn't really that bothered about your dd's bumps and bruises, he just likes making a fuckload of noise about it, because it makes him look like Mr Big

I bet he's the type that is rude to waitresses and taxi drivers, isn't he ?

Original poster
GadaboutTheGreat · 05/06/2013 15:18

Tbh he is making me feel like I don't care enough about DD's safety Hmm Sad

OP posts:
financialwizard · 05/06/2013 15:18

Bless him. My husband was like that with dd until the first time he was alone with her when she was toddling. She tripped, caught her head on the coffee table and had a nasty, but clean cut.

He was never like it again (she was fine btw) because he now realises she is a clumsy clot!