I think I was but I just saw red.

[CbeebiesIsMyLife]

Please be gentle!
I'm sat on the sofa cuddling my sleeping teething 16 month old who has been up most of the night, up stairs is my sleeping 2 and a half year old.

A van pulled up outside and tried to deliver a parcel next door. She wasn't in so the delivery driver came and rand my door bell. The front door is frosted glass and my the living room door is open so he could see me sat on the sofa.

I ignored him, as I didn't want to wake my sleeping baby. He knocks loudly on the door and peers in the glass shouting, I continue to ignore and he knocks harder (I swear he was going to break the glass it was that hard and loud)

DD2 jumps awake and starts crying and then I hear DD1 moving around upstairs. Meanwhile delivery man is peering and knocking again.

I'm shattered and was half dozing myself, I'll admit I saw red. I flung the door open (he almost fell in through the door) and shouted, 'if someone doesn't answer the door there is usually a reason, I'm not interested today' and slammed the door leaving a rather stunned delivery man.

I then tried to shush my baby back to sleep and could see him in the street trying other doors shouting in my direction (no idea what he was saying!) Now I have 2 tired grumpy toddlers awake after only sleeping for less than an hour. I know that's not his problem and he didnt know. BUT.

Am I Being Unreasonable to not answer my door? Did I really commit some great crime?

(I know I was probably unreasonable to shout at him!)

Cbeebies

Yes, you are right

Don't delivery drivers/couriers get paid per parcel? I'm sure one of them told me he did, recently, which is why he was trying all the nearby houses to take my neighbour's parcel in for them

I have got one of the royal mail stickers but haven't put it on my letter box yet, we usually have the same 3 or 4 postmen and they are great, but some couriers are awful just lately. I was hanging washing in my garden last week and I heard a van, then something being unloaded, then long constant knocking on someone's door, and finally HELLOOOO being shouted 15 times. At the top of his voice! Sure, I could have gone out and taken the parcel in, but he'd annoyed me so much by then I just thought fuck you even the DCs were mocking him lol

Yanbu as it's up to you when to answer the door.

I don't have DCs... is it common for them to be such light sleepers? the babies and children I know seem to be able to sleep through most things!

You WERE being completely unreasonable...... he was only trying to go above customer expectations, to get the job done, to deliver the parcel and instead he got shouted at by a mad cranky woman.

He didn't know you'd had a teething issues all night. He was entirely innocent, yet you went off at him as if he was just a piece of shit.

He would have been reasonable to ring and/or knock once, but surely knocking, shouting and peering in, with no intention of leaving, crosses the line to unreasonable behaviour, cronullansw?

He was not 'entirely innocent' He was a complete knob jockey.

I don't understand. The front door is frosted. So he can see the shaped of you sitting there but not what you are doing.

If that is the case then why would he not try to get your attention?

I understand the frustration at the neighbours, but it is hardly the delivery drivers fault. He is just doing a job. It depends on the delivery company as to their policy on delivery, but with the increase in Internet shopping couriers are under increasing pressure to deliver 1st time.

Whereas it used to be a requirement that's parcel was delivered to the actual address but more and more companies are changing this because people complain if they don't get their delivery on time.

I have been on the receiving end of calls from customers complaining that their goods have not been delivered. The first thing a customer says is that it should have been left with a neighbour.

You are not being unreasonable to be annoyed with the neighbour. I do think, though that you are being unreasonable to shout at him and be angry at him when, by your own admission, he didn't know your circumstances. Added to the fact that he could see you were there ( although not what you were doing through frosted glass) I can see why he tried several times.

If it is becoming that much of a problem and you don't want to cause problems by talking to the neighbour why don't you put up a sign saying you only take delivery of letters and parcels addressed to your address.

^I don't understand. The front door is frosted. So he can see the shaped of you sitting there but not what you are doing.

If that is the case then why would he not try to get your attention? ^

That would be fine if he tried once or twice. Surely after that anyone with any consideration would realise that there is a reason that the door isn't being answered. It's not as if the parcel was for that address, which would have made it slightly more acceptable.

Do you really think that it is reasonable to ring and then continue knocking on the door indefinitely?

He rang the doorbell once and knocked twice. It's not like he stood there for 10 minutes or knocked indefinitely. And what did he shout? We haven't been told. It may have been "hello, can you hear me" or "hello, are you ok?"

If the driver doesn't deliver the goods someone will complain. If he tries someone else will. I am gals I don't have to do his job.

I have a laminated sign on my front door that states that I do not take in parcels for any other address than my own, for precisely this reason...

Glad not gals lol.

Couthymow. What sense.

Cronullansw - how was he 'just doing his job' ? His job, surely, was to deliver a parcel to the OP's neighbour, not to fucking harass the OP by repeatedly ringing the doorbell, knocking on the door AND shouting?!

Why does the OP need to do the parcel delivery person's job for them? If they can't deliver to the recipient, then they leave a card for the recipient yo arrange another delivery time, not piss off her neighbours.

I am not parcel force, and I don't expect to be used like I am.

Sort your own fucking parcels out, cheers!

Because if he can see me sitting there, and I have CHOSEN not to answer the door, then continuing to ring or knock is just going to piss me off. If he can see me, then he KNOWS that I am CHOOSING not to answer the door, for whatever reason.

So in that instance, he should kindly go away and leave me alone.

My NEIGHBOUR'S parcel is HIS problem, not mine. I arrange my deliveries for when I am at home, leave express notes for my parcels not to be left with neighbours if I am not home, if I'm not home for a delivery then it is my OWN responsibility to rearrange it, not my bloody neighbour's job!

I am quite capable of making a phone call when I get a card telling me that I have missed a delivery (only happened twice, when parcels were delivered before 9am when I have asked for afternoon delivery.) I now don't buy if people use shittylink, but I can fix it myself without inconveniencing my neighbours.

Ergo, I don't expect to be disturbed by their bloody shopping either!

Only did the sign AFTER I had at least 5 people do EXACTLY what this delivery driver did. And yes, every damn one of them got a gobfull from me.

My home, don't disturb me unless I have asked for you to.

In the case of parcel delivery people, you are ONLY EVER given that permission if the parcel is addressed to me.

If the customer rings up and complains that the parcel should have been left with a neighbour, did they first ASK that neighbour if they were willing to take in a parcel, BEFORE buying the item? If not, then the customer should be told that it can only be delivered to the DELIVERY ADDRESS. If that is a neighbour's address, as agreed with the neighbour, then fair enough. If not, then the customer should be told its tough, their neighbours are not their own parcel delivery office!

Ask your neighbours to specify under 'special instructions' that companies are NOT to leave parcels at your house. Most websites have a space where you can add these instructions. Your neighbours can pick their parcels up at the delivery office, or have it delivered to their work. Also, stick a note on your door saying you do not accept deliveries for other homes.

I've never been asked to take in a parcel for a neighbour and I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't want one of mine left with a neighbour either. If I buy something, I make sure it is delivered either at a time that suits me to be home, or I get it delivered to work, or to my PO Box so I can pick it up at my convenience. A neighbour expecting me to play postman pat for them would be told to bugger off and take responsibility for their own shopping.

Wow, lots more replies since yesterday.
Just to clarify ilove, he rand the door bell once then knocked increasingly louder and harder 3 times. He was stood there for around 5 minute before I answered the door.

Although he may not have seen the baby, he could see that I had seen him. I couldn't hear what he was shouting, but I did hear the word door, so I assume something like answer the door.

I don't really know that neighbour, I only see her when she knocks to pick up a parcel. And that's a quick transfer as she also has kids she has to leave to come and pick up the parcel.

Thanks to every one who said I wasn't BU. and for those who said I was, I've taken opinions and suggestions on board.

We had a decent sleep last night, so hoping for a better day!

Couthymow. I don't think ringing the bell once and knocking twice is unreasonable. How does he know that you have " chosen" not to answer the door.

You may have headphones in and can't hear him, or the TV turned up loud. Or you may have taken ill.

And it's great to hear how you have respect for your neighbours. Yes, it seems like in this instance the neighbour simply expects it, but what if your neighbour needed to make an emergency drs appointment? Or got held up for some reason?

And if for some reason they need to go out having arranged a delivery how many doors do they knock on to ask if it is ok.

I have on occasion had to go out when something was delivered. On the whole, my neighbours have always been happy to help, and I will always be happy to help myself.

To give the driver a gobfull is just rude. He IS doing his job if the terms of shipping state that a parcel can be left with a neighbour ( which most do nowadays).

As with any walk of life you will find the odd unreasonable person but most couriers are reasonable very hard working people just trying to do what they are paid to do.

I bet the people complaining are the same ones that complained at Christmas when their delivery was delayed.

Sorry cbeebies. Wasn't ignoring your reply. Started to type and then needed to change a nappy!

Did your neighbour say sorry? Have they asked if it is ok as it is a recurring issue for you? If not I understand why you are upset.

And it is very unusual for a driver to wait 5 minutes. When they have 40+ drops and then collections to make so they can't afford to hang about.

It seems to me that delivery drivers can never get it right.

Either we get the threads about them creeping to front door, not knocking or ringing the bell, delivering a calling card and running off again. Or you get a thread like this one [although this is the first time I have ever read of this situation tbh].

OP, I think YWBU. The poor guy was only trying to do his job. And as someone else said, how was he to know that you didn't have headphones on or hadn't heard him for some other reason?

Now, go and write that note to stick on door and enjoy your rest.

But please don't discourage delivery drivers with their exuberant door ringing and knocking. I MUCH MUCH prefer this to the creepers and the deliveries I keep having to collect from the sorting office EVEN THOUGH I BLOODY WAS HOME WHEN YOU TRIED TO DELIVER THANKS VERY MUCH!!!

I once had a delivery driver try really hard to convince me to take in a parcel of his for a local industrial estate several streets over. (He had a delivery for me and them askede to take this one too) he went on and on, wouldn't take no for an answer. (We did say NO)

But it was so strange it was almost comedic! Please take in this parcel it's for x business, its just a left, and a right and the second on left.

And on and on!

I think the difference is that if someone rings or knocks a couple of times, with a gap to allow you to answer its seen as efficient and polite.

Ringing and knocking multiple times when they can see you and shouting is actually quite rude. Especially if they're then going to ask you to do the favour of taking in someone else's parcel.

The line between efficient and rude isn't that thin, but some drivers seem to think it's their right to have you answer the door to them. My neighbour has torn strips off several people for doing this, and even though she is completely nuts and the packages are for her when they come complaining to my door I point out that maybe if they'd politely knocked twice and gone away maybe they wouldn't have gotten that reaction. And then I refuse to take her parcel too, coz she's fricking nuts

And this is why when I was buying a house I wanted a 'battle axe' block with a gate.

First thing I did was disable the intercom.

If I am expecting you, the gate is open. If you are friend/family and you turn up and the gate is locked you call me.

If you are neither of those things then you can go away. Doesn't matter how long you stand there pressing the button, I can't hear you.

What can I say, I am anti-social.

So morloth. If you are expecting a delivery of something on a non time critical or specified delivery service how do you deal with it? Spend all day watching for them?

If you are in the sort of fortress you describe then you can simply answer buzzer and say no!

Morloth I like your style!