To think doing a poo is the least sexy thing in the world and therefore not understand how anyone can enjoy anal?

[AmadeusRocks]

That really. I've heard it feels like doing a poo backwards...... Sounds grim to me!

poo i cant it hurts due to back n bum injury ;) pmsl .

Ooh I like doing a nice big poo

Well there are actual biological reasons why sex immediately after childbirth isn't the best idea but don't let that stand in the way of a good rant.

Grim not for Me at all, yuck. Oh and Yanbu at all!

I hate doing big poos.

^

Actually, I used to enjoy a big poo, since childbirth they hurt :(

There's nothing so underrated as a good shit, and nothing so overrated as a bad shag.

Trudat.

True true

My friend once had a 'horror turd'. As long as a cock but twice as wide. It jammed. He said he had to pull it out with his hand
He came into work and told everyone. Since then I have been right off big poos.

psml at horror turd.

Maybe the OP knew it was the kind of topic that got a lot of response on MN and just wanted lots of people to post and chat as a distraction technique?

I remember talking to random people at the supermarket about whatever crap I could think of to keep a conversation going in those early days.

Also, by day 4 I was still sold on celibacy as the only contraception of choice but maybe anal would have been another option :)

at horror turd. I had that after the birth of my ds. I was in agony. Tried to pull it out but i had stitches. Sent dp out to get supposetries to soften the bastard. When it arrived, it nearly emptied all the water out of the loo when it plunged in :(

I am CRYING at these.

Stop!

I think that's it though Charlie you wouldn't talk to people in the supermarket about bumsex in order to start a conversation because that would be weird. Or would you?

I seen a facebook status this week, a mans obviously:

Just been for a big jobby

What a word.

"horror turd"

That was quite an outburst monkeyfacegrace. Congratulations on the sex four days after giving birth to a premature baby. Please accept this award in recognition of your sheer awesomeness. You must be the best wife ever.

Was there a picture of it Diary?

I think the crowning baby/sex thing must have been confusion. I looked away and tried not to make eye contact with DH!!!

Thinking about sex having had a baby is perfectly normal. In my case I was worrying about how to avoid it though!

I wonder where all the posters are who used to have bumsex, I remember them telling me everyone that when you get up after DTD your bottom is open. that put me right off tbh, not that I had ever been on

Amadeus, I hope you are ok. Please post your BFing worries on the bfing board, you will get loads of help. And ignore the nastiness, you can post on whatever you want, I thought your thread was funny! Take care.Xx

To be fair, are there not loads of other places pervy old men could get their kicks than mumsnet?

I agree.

Given that with a few clicks of a mouse you can watch all the actual bum sex you've ever desired, a thread full of people going 'anal sex eurrrgggh' interspersed with the occasional person saying 'I enjoy it' is hardly the height of eroticism is it?

No sparkling the word jobby is visual enough for me tbh

Open bottom. That doesn't sound good. When does it shut?

Diary Tbh 'open' is an exaggeration. Stretched is probably more accurate. It's not a big gaping hole or anything and it gets back to normal pretty sharpish.