Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this dog needs to go to the effing vets?

201 replies

TheSeventhHorcrux · 28/05/2013 21:31

PILs went out, their dog was fine in the garden, they come back an hour or two later and she's only walking on 3 legs. Back leg bent and not touching the floor, she can't extend it at all. Moans when leg is touched.

3 days later OH and I find out, I ask whether she's been to the vets. "No, she's just pulled her leg". (She's still walking on only 3 legs, appears to be in pain).

7 days later OH and I visit, she's still walking on 3 legs and falls over/collapses when she tries to crouch. Basically there is no improvement. FIL says she's fine and he's not taking her to the vets. He says if it is the same by the weekend (will be 14 days) then he'll take him the following week (maybe 16-18 days later).

OH offers to take her to the vets, FIL says "only if you're fucking paying for it."

They're pretty well off, certainly well off enough to pay a vet (dog not insured).

AIBU to think that it is cruel not to be taking the dog to the vets now?!

OP posts:
Original poster
TheSeventhHorcrux · 29/05/2013 18:35

Aside from march round there and steal there dog, I can't think what else I can. I really don't want to push FIL as he can get quite nasty and it would be hideous to have a bad relationship with them, especially for OH.

Tbh I'm astonished OH managed to convince him to take her at all. I'm impressed, FIL isn't the type to be reasoned with

OP posts:
Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 29/05/2013 18:35

If they were going to take her they woulda taken her there's no reason y tomorrow is any different to today.

What a pair of neglectful arses :(

Original poster
TheSeventhHorcrux · 29/05/2013 18:36

I'm not sure what reporting them would achieve, I have no proof it didn't happen today...

OP posts:
Original poster
TheSeventhHorcrux · 29/05/2013 18:37

there's no reason y tomorrow is any different to today.

This is pretty much how I feel about it. Especially as FIL is self employed so is home during the day

OP posts:
Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 29/05/2013 18:40

Vets can tell. Through how it's healing, through bone formation , bruising etc stuff like that. It will be evident how long x

SuburbanRhonda · 29/05/2013 18:42

Well, I guess it remains to be seen, OP, whether your FIL does take her or whether he just said he would to get your OH off his back Sad.

Bobyan · 29/05/2013 18:43

If you report today it means that no matter what the dog will get seen. Even if they do nothing further.

plainjaney · 29/05/2013 18:43

WestieMamma, the bills don't always stop there with cruciate. My Mums dog Leo was a lovely little Shih Tzu who fell from the back of a chair when he was about 18 months old. He damaged his cruciate to such an extent he needed surgery and his leg pinned. Thankfully for Mum he was insured at the time.

When he reached ten it became obvious that the leg with the surgery was starting to turn arthritic, Mum had been warned that cruciate problems can lead to arthritis. There started the costs for daily painkillers for him. By this point he's an old dog and insurance isn't an option. Mum kept paying. Last year age 12 the pin pierced the surface of his back leg and caused an abscess. Another operation ensued to try and remove the pin. They couldn't take it out as it was fused with the arthritic bone. More money, more painkillers but she paid out.

Over the last 6 months it became apparent Leo was suffering, the drugs no longer controlled his pain, he cried in pain with every movement and Mum took the heartbreaking decision to let him go. He was 13.

To have a pet and stand back and watch it suffer is abhorrent I think.

Original poster
TheSeventhHorcrux · 29/05/2013 18:44

OH forced him to book it there and then. I think MIL was convinced too so hopefully she will follow it through

OP posts:
Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 29/05/2013 18:47

If its broken and its compressing an artery the delay means poor dog could have lost the circulation in her leg. They would have to amputate if that's the case. He could have cost him self hundreds of pounds extra. That poor dog so . Angry for you and the dog!!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 29/05/2013 18:48

Would you consider tipping the vet off about how long this problem has been ongoing? Though I imagine he or she will be able to tell that it is not a new injury.

Well done to you and your OH for getting your PIL to take this poor dog to the vet.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 29/05/2013 18:56

I agree with SDTG. Let the vet know that this hasn't just happened so they can make it clear how much the dog has suffered and how delay may have worsened the prognosis.

The vet doesn't have to mention your tip off at all as they will probably be able to tell this hasn't just happened.

Thank goodness your DH got through FIL's stubborn skull that something needed doing.

MissStrawberry · 29/05/2013 18:56

Has this poor dog been seen yet?

Your in-laws are vile but tbh you have also let this dog suffer longer than necessary because you put your relationship with its disgusting owners before his well being. He is an animal ffs and needs someone to care.

MrsBB1982 · 29/05/2013 19:01

missstrawberry - a little harsh I think. I'm an out-and-out animal lover but it's very easy for us to be judgemental sat on the other end of the internet. These things are never straightforward when it involves family. OP is clearly distressed by the events and I think her and her DH have already risked their relationship with her PILs to be the dogs advocate. What do you suggest they did?

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 29/05/2013 19:01

I wouldn't want a relationship with someone who'd do that. I wouldn't give a shit if they never spoke to me again. I'd just take the dog :(

MissStrawberry · 29/05/2013 19:02

I think the dog has had a harsh two weeks.

Original poster
TheSeventhHorcrux · 29/05/2013 19:08

Miss Strawberry, I see where you're coming from but it is not realistic to go and steal someone's dog and take it to the vets. It is not my place to do that. And even if I felt that it was the appropriate thing to do, I wouldn't be able to do it! I would have to break into their house!

I really did as much as I could in the circumstances. This has changed my opinion of FIL completely but it would be very unfair for me to sabbatage OH's realtionship with his parents as well

OP posts:
scratchandsniff · 29/05/2013 19:11

Does he think It's going to magically get better overnight? If anything he could potentially be adding to the vets bill by delaying treatment. What a pair of twats. I get on with my IL's but I'd seriously lose it with them if they did this. I really hope they sort it tomorrow. If not you have to do the right thing and get the rspca involved.

MissStrawberry · 29/05/2013 19:11

But you could have reported it to someone who could take the dog.

Has the dog been seen yet?

xkittyx · 29/05/2013 19:17

If my inlaws did that, too right I'd be permanently sabotaging my relationship with them. They are scum.

Original poster
TheSeventhHorcrux · 29/05/2013 19:23

I wouldn't just be permanently sabotaging MY relationship with them though, OH would be caught very much in the middle and I don't want to make this more difficult for him then it already is.

I genuinely care about the dog, all dogs in general. I'm really not an evil witch who cares more about my relationship with PIL than the dogs pain but it is far more complicated than that.

OP posts:
MissStrawberry · 29/05/2013 19:27

No, it really isn't.

These people are allowing a dog to suffer. Why would any of you want a relationship with them?

DrHolmes · 29/05/2013 19:36

You are just as bad as them, OP.
Shame on all of you.
Disgusting.

Original poster
TheSeventhHorcrux · 29/05/2013 19:40

Oh for fuck sake. Get a fucking grip.

OP posts:
alienbanana · 29/05/2013 19:41

Oh,get over your self.