To think fuck off with your competitive parenting!

[HandbagCrab]

Ds and I were looking at a bird in an enclosure at an animal centre. Ds can say duck for all birds but I was trying to see if I could get him to say bird too (he's 18 months). This woman spies us and brings her child and parks her buggy next to us so they are practically touching (there's lots of space so this was unnecessary).

She's all 'what colours can you see in the partridge's tail, Jocasta? (Jocasta names some colours) Very good, can you see any other colours too?' in a loud parenting voice.

I feel it's just another bloody example of competitive, constant comparison between dc and I'm so tired of it. I get people are insecure, but why should they get validation from my child because theirs can 'do' more than mine? I know it's not a big deal, but I find these little comparisons happening all the time and this is just the latest and most ridiculous of the lot.

I just walked away from partridge-worrying mum, what do you do with the competitive buggers?

It's enough for me that I and dh think ds is marvellous and everything he does is amazing. I don't need validation from randoms that he is great and I'm doing a good job (although unprompted compliments are lovely and we did get some yesterday too). I don't see how this makes me insecure/ uninvolved/ disengaged/ thinking I'm inadequate/ terribly anxious or any of the negative aspects posters have tried to pin onto me. I think I do a fairly reasonable job of parenting and although it is very early days ds seems happy and enjoys life.

I'm quite glad I posted this as I actually feel more confident now about batting the comparisons and performances away.

I don't know what one is btw if anyone wants to enlighten me and lets hope he doesn't learn any spelling and grammar from me after THAT post

I'm sorry that combine you feel that others are sneering at your dc when they come out with something impressive. That's just another way of comparing and judging dc and that would piss me off too if someone did that.

It's a shape with twelve sides.

Sorry realised that's ambiguous too. It's like a cube but has twelve sides. Like dungeons and dragons dice. Each side is a pentagon or hexagon I think.

I don't get the mumsnet horror at parents talking to and educating their children.

It's far better than "move!" Bellowed at toddler while mum negotiates clothing rails in Primark.

Some of you are barely going to be able to contain yourselves when your child reaches school. There will always be one five year okd child who will be delivered to school with a laptop and loaded PowerPoint presentation in order that she be accepted onto school Eco committee.

There will always be the eight year old who turns up with balsa wood constructed glider while everyone else has made a paper dart 5 mins before school

"It's enough for me that I and dh think ds is marvellous and everything he does is amazing."

Well then you're miles ahead of me :)

I think my kids are grand and most things they do in public are embarrassing. :o

But I'm stuck with them and quite enjoy talking to them and it passes the (long) days looking after them.

I totally need the validation from other people. Not that I get it often, as they are very badly behaved.

I don't have the mental capacity when out with my kids to be aware of who else is around and come up with schemes to try to impress them.

I don't think it sounded like performance parenting at all, to be honest. It sounds more like she came in the hope of striking up conversation, or even a smile, because parenting small children can be quite lonely.

She was asking her child colours. You were teaching your child a new word. It's not her fault that you took that to be smuggery and showing off.

My DD2 is 5 and is currently obsessed with homophones. If you heard her out and about saying 'Mum is a homophone because...' you might think she was showing off. In fact, it's just one of the many things that makes me suspect she has some sort of SN. That and repeating patterns.

I'm with you really, though some of them are quite genuine I think and just stuck in parent-world for the time being.

I slipped into it by accident once. Every time someone plays a metal xylophone, which is actually called a glockenspiel, and someone refers to it as a xylophone, I say "its a glockenspiel" in a jokey way. Okay, not every time just a few times here and there.

So we are at a play place thingy and I was in the baby bit with my daughter and my son who was about 2 and a half strolled up. He started whacking on a glockenspiel with a beater. An older baby went to join him and the mother said "ooh do you want a turn on the xylophone darling! Can you say XYLOPHONE?" and my son just handed the beater over, raised one eyebrow and proclaimed "its a GLOCKENSPEIL" before strolling over to a trike that had become free

I hate this loud parenting. It's so rude and ignorant. Not everybody within 100 yards wants to hear your shrill voice.

I HATE loud parenting BUT it usually makes me laugh, the crap that is spouted!

"it usually makes me laugh, the crap that is spouted!"

What do you spout when talking to toddlers?

Pearls of wisdom and timeless gems?

I sat next to a little boy age about 8 on a plane. I was reading Calvin and Hobbes and he kept reading over my shoulder. I asked him if he wanted to borrow it and he told me he wasn't allowed to read comics, so I lent it anyway and told him not to tell his dad. He was called Tarquin. Poor lad, I hope he grew up and told his parents were to go

Oh I like talking. Not so sure all children like listening all the time. What happened to being alone with their thoughts?

... and also allowing children to initiate the conversation rather than being prompted all the time. Quite exhausting for them, and also, too much like school

Didn't really know what loud parenting was until reading about it on here but realise that I'm really guilty of it and probably drive everyone mad, for example I say to DD in front of others 'Mummy go clap, clap, clap, miniSpice do'

Was doing it at a BBQ yesterday and realised I sound like a twat! But not going to stop doing it, she's my PF(and only)B and I love chatting to her and teaching her stuff.

Only you were there and I have no idea at how good you are reading people and situations.

Maybe she was being competitive, maybe she wasn't - did you have a good time out with your family?

Just wondering - going on a couple of posts I've seen here - would I be right in thinking talking to a baby is considered loud parenting no matter what? Isn't that just exposing a kiddo to language? And if I were in Ali instead of Waitrose and talking through my decision to buy either Lambrini or Strongbow instead of say, Proseco or Cliquot, would I be protected from being shoved into the loud parenting camp by onlookers?

AThing I dont spout any of the aforementioned pretentious nonsense as detailed in this thread

"Chottie Mon 27-May-13 11:54:44

OP - you ought to visit my local Waitrose on Saturday afternoon, I hate all that 'loud parenting' stuff too. Jocasta, Tarquin et al are there being 'introduced' to kumquats, aubergines etc."

Aubergines?! I consider that child abuse actually.

Well, well, you Lear something everyday: I didn't think partridges were water fowl- here was me thinking they hung about in pear trees.

Does this qualify as a foul story? Ba dum tush?

Learn, even...

WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU LEARNED ABOUT PARTRIDGES, VENUS? CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT THEY EAT?

(loud Mumsnetting)

pink

I think interacting with your child is central. I do think some people feel they have to talk to them all the time, rather than responding to them and having a two-way verbal or non-verbal interaction. Often this is interpreted as showing off.

It irks me when the child doesn't get a word in edgeways, or the parent seems to be in "teaching" mode all the time (I think that stems from anxiety sometimes).

I prefer the term OSTENTATIOUS PARENTING