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to make a scene on the train

362 replies

photographerlady · 24/05/2013 22:06

I didn't but AIBU to just throw my hands up and really just make a scene next time. I commute over an hour to London on the train. In my third trimester of pregnancy I applied for upgrade for Mums to Be on southwest trains. Have the pass now to sit in first class if the train is full.

The past month I've sat in first class. I am slower now and especially after work when huffing my way to catch the train after quitting time I get on with only 5 minutes to spare. About five coaches down its first class (ten coach train) and its rammed so I get on and sit in FC as those first five coaches have no seats.

Today the ticket checker came to our carriage when we was moving she checked my pass and said that there were seats on this train I have to leave first class. I was more shocked but then she preceded to tell me that she could revoke my pass and I have to move now. So at 33 weeks I walked down two carriages on the moving train til I found a seat.

Now I am working til 35/36 weeks but after thinking about today AIBU to just say "No" next time that I am not moving and take it from there. I mean they can remove me from the train or say I am causing a scene but tbh I feel as though its not worth the strain and cramps in my stomach to hustle down the platform or weave through carriages to make sure all seats are taken before I go back to the pretty empty first class section.

OP posts:

YoniWidge · 24/05/2013 22:08

Sorry, but yabu. Pay for a first class ticket, or sit in second. Your choice.


Rainbowinthesky · 24/05/2013 22:10



SixFeetUnder · 24/05/2013 22:11

While I understand where you are coming from I do think you should make some effort to find a seat before going straight to First Class. Or if you really feel strongly that First Class if the only place you would feel comfortable you could always buy a ticket for there?


LEMisdisappointed · 24/05/2013 22:11

Wow yoni - have you left your sympathy and empathy somewhere this evening?

OP YANBU what a cow


Jinsei · 24/05/2013 22:11

Do you have complications with your pregnancy? If not, then YABVU. Pregnancy is not a disability. Your pass allows you to sit in first class when the other carriages are full. If there were other seats available, then it was right that you should move.


WilsonFrickett · 24/05/2013 22:12

Of course YABU. You have a pass to sit in first if the train is full. The train isn't full. Therefore you can't sit in first. It doesn't sound like she had the best customer skills in the world, but you were still breaking the rules. And you'll feel a lot worse office they revoke your pass and put you off at the next station.


yaimee · 24/05/2013 22:12

Yabu to expect a seat in first class when there are seats on the train.
She wbu to ask you to change seats while the train was moving and if this happens again then it wouldn't bu fir you to say that you would find a new seat the next time the train stops.


FattyMcChubster · 24/05/2013 22:12

The pass is for when there are no other seats. There were seats so you didn't need your pass.


ZZZenagain · 24/05/2013 22:13

I think you have to go with the validity of your ticket. If there are seats available, you don't have the right to sit in first class with that pass. It does sound like a pain but I think the ticket collector was in the right really, she was just going by the book.


ReluctantBeing · 24/05/2013 22:13

Yabu. If it is such a struggle, stop working.


Finola1step · 24/05/2013 22:14

YANBU. On my train, there is always space in first. Always.

If it happens again, tell them you will move but you will need them to escort you to an available seat. Remind them that the train is moving and you do not want to be put at risk by having to negotiate your way through a moving train. Throw the whole health and safety, duty of care etc. at them.


MrsCosmopilite · 24/05/2013 22:14

I think you should only be using your ticket for the purpose that it was intended for. Why can't you just ask someone to give you their seat? I did that when I was pregnant, and was having a day when I felt ill/achy etc.


BornToFolk · 24/05/2013 22:15

Have the pass now to sit in first class if the train is full.

Well, there you go then. If the T&Cs of the pass are that you can use First Class if the rest of the train is full, then yes, YABU to go straight to First Class.


gordyslovesheep · 24/05/2013 22:15

I don't think YABU - yes pregnancy isn't an illness etc etc BUT if the OP got on the train and it was full is she expected to get up at every stop and look for a seat before returning to first class? - I think the ticket person was being rather petty


DiscoDonkey · 24/05/2013 22:15

Yabu, your pregnant and perfectly capable of walking down a platform or through carriages unless you have spd which you haven't mentioned. You just don't want to.


WorraLiberty · 24/05/2013 22:15


Just walk down the train


WineNot · 24/05/2013 22:16

If it happens again, tell them you will move but you will need them to escort you to an available seat. Remind them that the train is moving and you do not want to be put at risk by having to negotiate your way through a moving train. Throw the whole health and safety, duty of care etc. at them.



BimbaBirba · 24/05/2013 22:16

Gosh, people on here are so mean!
It was very harsh to tell you to get up and find another seat, IMO. At what point are you supposed to check for free seats with that pass? Are you supposed to get up and walk the length of the train every time it stops at a station in case someone has got off?
I'm sure that's not the case so IMO provided the train was pretty much choker, YANBU. Poor you commuting so late in pregnancy


DiscoDonkey · 24/05/2013 22:17

Seriously finola, an escort? Put at risk? Good grief


TheChaoGoesMu · 24/05/2013 22:17

YABU, sorry. If you want to sit in first class all the time with no restrictions, then you have to pay for that.


Cloverer · 24/05/2013 22:17

YABU I'm afraid. There were seats you could move to.

If you are unable to safely walk through two train carriages, maybe you should get the GP to sign you off work? This doesn't sound sustainable.


Queazy · 24/05/2013 22:18

I think the words 'pregnancy is not a disability' and 'pregnancy is not an illness' should be banned. This woman is heavily pregnant, exhausted and had a pass to sit in 1st class if she couldn't find a seat. Sure, have a look for a seat in standard when you get on, but no need to scour the whole train to find one! I think the guard should have just reminded you to have a good look for a seat, but should have left you be. How mean to send you packing.

I hate my trains. Luckily, recently some very kind people have given me a seat. I remember how much I loved getting a seat even before pregnancy, so it makes the whole thing a lot easier.

Hope the next few weeks go ok for you op


blondieminx · 24/05/2013 22:18

YANBU to just want to sit down while heavily pg, YAB a bit U about making a scene.

On our line you have to send a letter off to the train co, from your HR dept confirming maternity leave dates and they send you a letter entitling you to 1st class for your last 8 wks of work.

Next time smile sweetly and say "as you can see, I'm getting really big now. I'm sure you can use your discretion here...?"

Enjoy your maternity leave!


Floggingmolly · 24/05/2013 22:18

Did you know the train wasn't full when you went directly to 1st class?


IslaMann · 24/05/2013 22:19

YABU You're pregnant, not ill. If you can't sit in any seat apart from first class then start your mat leave. Frankly I'm stunned at your sense of entitlement.

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