to make a scene on the train

[photographerlady]

I didn't but AIBU to just throw my hands up and really just make a scene next time. I commute over an hour to London on the train. In my third trimester of pregnancy I applied for upgrade for Mums to Be on southwest trains. Have the pass now to sit in first class if the train is full.

The past month I've sat in first class. I am slower now and especially after work when huffing my way to catch the train after quitting time I get on with only 5 minutes to spare. About five coaches down its first class (ten coach train) and its rammed so I get on and sit in FC as those first five coaches have no seats.

Today the ticket checker came to our carriage when we was moving she checked my pass and said that there were seats on this train I have to leave first class. I was more shocked but then she preceded to tell me that she could revoke my pass and I have to move now. So at 33 weeks I walked down two carriages on the moving train til I found a seat.

Now I am working til 35/36 weeks but after thinking about today AIBU to just say "No" next time that I am not moving and take it from there. I mean they can remove me from the train or say I am causing a scene but tbh I feel as though its not worth the strain and cramps in my stomach to hustle down the platform or weave through carriages to make sure all seats are taken before I go back to the pretty empty first class section.

I am not easily offended so reading all the comments :) I am glad some have easy 33 week pregnancy I myself feel like a beach ball on cankled stumps.

If the train is just about to leave, you have to get on it, at the first door.

The train won't wait for you to walk down a platform, along 10 coaches, looking for a seat.

It would be very annoying to have to move, but you should have seen it coming really. First class seats are bloody expensive. I don't really see the point of this funny pass thing, you could just ask for a seat like a normal, grown up woman if you need one (this is more directed at the irritating women who passive aggressively rub their bumps until some chump leaps up rather than asking the people in the allocated seats to let them sit down than you OP).

That's the impression I got lottie or my response might have been a bit different.

Though not all that different considering she's been using first class for a month so one journey out of god knows how many, isn't really bad.

Just thinking that that is a really nice idea of the train company. Personally I would have said "Which carriage is that? Brilliant - thanks. Do you mind if I wait until the next station - I'm not that steady on my feet these days." and smiled nicely.

And then moved when the train stopped.

Avondale, why the frick did you stand? Were you travelling on the roof? Shout until you get a seat. Christ.

Typos you walk through the train...not down the platform.

Fair enough the OP doesn't want to/feels unable to do that so the sensible thing to do is ask for a seat.

You don't have to shout, you just have to ask.

Not everyone notices ever passenger around them during the commute. They're normally half nodding off or they've got their noses in a newspaper, book or kindle.

But once they're asked (ime) they'll oblige.

I think the monumental shittiness on this thread is precisely why women don't feel they can ask? WHo wants to ask for a seat only to have some smug mumsnetter telling them how their pregnancy ought not to be a problem, and not to be so entitled. Love.

Can't you get to the station earlier or catch a later train??????

I am presuming you catch your train from a London station

I still think you are being U.

edam you misunderstood my tone. I was representing the train company's point of view. They don't give a shit what people in cattle class think. Believe it or not, first class IS a money spinner - that's why they have it. It costs ££ to sit there. It's not a free refuge for everyone who fancies a comfy seat. If it were, it would be as full and hideous as standard class and the people on expense accounts would get back in their cars.

Are you Mylene Klass? 'The first woman in the world to have a baby™'

Or, 'Well OP, you chose to get PG. what did you expect?'

Well I suppose it depends where you get on. I worked in London so the train was standing at platform. You arrive in good time (because you know you want to get a seat) and walk down the platform until you see a carriage with seats.

In the morning I knew from experience where there were likely to be seats so I positioned myself in the place where those carriages stopped.

OP

YANBU. Not at all.

Some pretty harsh responses on this thread.

Yanbu

thankfully I was always offered a seat until my last week 38 weeks pregnant I was huge the driver on the bus told a man to move he pretended he did not hear and he got a telling off from many of he passengers

I would not want to ask because of attitudes shown on here. but really so what you get to sit in first for a few weeks i am sure you have had your fair share of crap sevice, having to stand on journeys ad increase in fares
and squeezing though a crowded train while it is speeding along in not that easy when you are heavily pregnant.

Good grief! I can't believe how mean spirited some people are.

Why should someone who is not pregnant and has paid for their seat be asked to give it up for the OP when there are empty seats in first class? Trains are very overcrowded the train companies are making a fortune out of us, lets co-operate and try to get as many passengers sitting down as possible instead of standing/sitting on bags/blocking corridor space.

Why begrudge a pregnant woman a bit of comfort? She won't be pregnant and sitting in first class forever, someone might as well make use of all those empty seats.

At 33 weeks I was certainly 'heavily' pregnant some of us do grow enormous unwieldy bumps, some of us suffer conditions of pregnancy that mean too much amniotic fluid is produced and makes our bumps much bigger than they should be.

The OP searched 5 carriages before opting to sit in first, she wasn't acting 'entitled'. She made it clear she would have taken a seat in standard had she found one there first. Must she scour the entire train? She complied with the spirit of the T & C, as someone else said are pregnant women meant to leap up and check the train every time it stops just in case someone has got off and left a spare seat?

If it happens again OP politely tell the inspector you are feeling very tired but offer to get up and look for a seat when the train next stops. If they insist you move then you should do so but shame on them. Write to the CX of SW trains and point out the issues you've experienced.

I don't think you were being unreasonable. First Class wasn't full, so what difference did it make if you sat there? I don't understand the mumsnet thing of "pregnancy isn't a disability so you must stand for hours, pull pushchairs up flights of stairs while having a toddler on your back in a sling etc, etc. Of course pregnancy isn't a disability, but for some people it makes things harder, so a bit of understanding and the odd allowance from those around isn't a bad thing. It's just been nice!

TSSDNCOP- "you arrive in good time"

It not always easy to do that in London though is it? understatement of the century

I apologise for grammatical errors in my post. It is the fault of the wine.

Mrs BertBibby - I totally agree with your post.

There are some right smug bitches on this thread. But looking at some of the posters, I'd expect nothing less. Same old, same old....must be great to be so flaming perfect.

OP - best of luck going forward!

Excuse well yes actually, particularly if you want a seat. I believe it's called planning ahead.

Of course you could just sit in FC and be told to move.

Yanbu

I think it was mean of her to make you move, but the whole First Class Pass thing seems ridiculous. Just ask someone for a seat. Also, if walking down 2 carriages of a train is physically difficult for you then it's probably time to stop work.

YANBU and the ticket person was being a petty fool. And can we stop with the whole "pregnancy isn't an illness" shit?! Every pregnancy is different and I felt pretty fucking I'll through most of mine.

It's so weird and mean spirited.