to make a scene on the train

[photographerlady]

I didn't but AIBU to just throw my hands up and really just make a scene next time. I commute over an hour to London on the train. In my third trimester of pregnancy I applied for upgrade for Mums to Be on southwest trains. Have the pass now to sit in first class if the train is full.

The past month I've sat in first class. I am slower now and especially after work when huffing my way to catch the train after quitting time I get on with only 5 minutes to spare. About five coaches down its first class (ten coach train) and its rammed so I get on and sit in FC as those first five coaches have no seats.

Today the ticket checker came to our carriage when we was moving she checked my pass and said that there were seats on this train I have to leave first class. I was more shocked but then she preceded to tell me that she could revoke my pass and I have to move now. So at 33 weeks I walked down two carriages on the moving train til I found a seat.

Now I am working til 35/36 weeks but after thinking about today AIBU to just say "No" next time that I am not moving and take it from there. I mean they can remove me from the train or say I am causing a scene but tbh I feel as though its not worth the strain and cramps in my stomach to hustle down the platform or weave through carriages to make sure all seats are taken before I go back to the pretty empty first class section.

[Alliwantisaroomsomewhere]

YABU

[gordyslovesheep]

Jesus I was MASSIVE at 33 weeks - and I find walking down A moving train carriage hard anyway - very wobbly (although it could be because I view train travel as an excuse to drink wine) - but not the same as sitting down in a moving car really

[Yettish]

Train companies won't get rid of first class because it's a huge money spinner. But people who pay a premium for first class tend to get a bit twitchy when people who haven't paid rock up expecting a free seat. Which was why the train manager tried to move the OP on. First class subsidises the whole train and must be preserved.

[WorraLiberty]

I didn't say about offering a seat.

I said why didn't you ask for a seat?

Never in my life have I seen a heavily pregnant woman refused a seat on a busy train if she's asked for one.

[Lweji]

Unless the train had about 30% empty seats, I think it's unreasonable to make a heavily pregnant to walk down carriages looking for a seat.

Are there no reserved seating?

[blondieminx]

Is it full moon or something? Jeez there are some hideously unsympathetic responses on here tonight.

[Abra1d]

I don't understand why 33 weeks means you find moving around so hard? You're not THAT big by then, surely? I would have liked a seat at that stage but moving down a train wasn't a huge issue.

[schobe]

There is not point to having 1st class carriages imo.

[Pigsmummy]

WorraLiberty calm down dear, there are likely no more than 1/2 3 at a push pregnant women per train on SW trains at any time.

[schobe]

I am a bit socially stunted and found asking for a seat excruciatingly embarrassing. So I just fumed all the way home.

I really am not mature enough to be joining in this debate!!

[BlueyDragon]

I'm surprised - I never got moved out of First on SWT when I had a Mums-to-be ticket. But I would have done if asked (my trains were usually full) because those are the conditions of the ticket. IME few people will volunteer a seat, preferring to go to sleep/immerse themselves in their Blackberries or newspapers, and lots of people not me are not comfortable with asking. As there are usually seats in First, it's a pretty good solution that leaves paying customers in their seats and gives the heavily pregnant some sitting space.

I wouldn't push the point, OP, you are just being asked to comply with the T's and C's of the ticket. If you're that concerned about changing whilst the train is moving, you could ask if it's ok to wait until the next station.

[ohforfoxsake]

Fucking hell - what happened to kindness, and empathy?

Both on the train and on MN.

[edam]

Also, what were the other passengers doing? Shouldn't they have been offering you their seats, as you struggled down the moving train?

If there are any nice human beings on your train, you may benefit from a top tip. Carry a scarf and 'accidentally' drop it in the lap of someone who is sitting down and has their head buried in a book/newspaper. When you say 'excuse me' they will look up and notice you are obviously preggers, and hopefully leap up.

Worked on me. I honestly had my head buried in my kindle and hadn't registered the preggers lady (crowd had moved down, she hadn't been next to my seat for more than a few seconds). Thought it was a very clever manoeuvre.

[WorraLiberty]

WorraLiberty calm down dear, there are likely no more than 1/2 3 at a push pregnant women per train on SW trains at any time.

Fuck me. Michael Winner's come back to haunt us!

[BoffinMum]

I would have said I was actually feeling quite sick and if she could overlook it I would be very grateful, as I didn't feel up to trekking down the train.

[photographerlady]

No reserved on the train I go on no. The one thing I think this thread as shown me (that I will admit to agree with) is that I don't ask someone to give up their seat. Mainly cause standing 45 minutes is a tall ask when they had a seat and I have been rejected in the past asking. People going to Basingstoke aren't the same as those on the Tube and even pregnancy I found it hard to get pass people and luggage to get down the train.

[edam]

(hers, I mean, not mine!)

Bollocks to 'First class subsidises the whole train and must be preserved', btw. I pay £4k a year for the privilege of cramming onto my commuter trains, I'm subsiding first crapital connect by giving them an interest free loan, I am staggered that anyone is so mad they think I should be tugging my forelock at those in first class.

[ohforfoxsake]

Not entirely relevant but I once got moved from the VIP seats in the cinema.

We were the only two people in there.

Some people are just twats.

[WorraLiberty]

Don't get me wrong, no-one can blame the OP for trying (I'd probably try it myself).

But having got to sit there for the past month, I think she would be VVU to cause a scene because her luck has run out.

[ohforfoxsake]

But you wouldn't have to ask anyone to give up their seat when there are empty ones (even if they are in first class). Win/win.

Like I say, twats.

[ExcuseTypos]

YANBU

I came back from London today on Sw trains. It was absolutely heaving, I found it difficult to walk through the train looking for a seat. There were bags and people everywhere. I certainly wouldn't want to do it whilst heavily pregnant.

Of course the inspector shouldn't have made you move.

I agree with BoffinMum, next time tell them you feel ill and don't want to move.

[schobe]

But worth trying to puke on the inspector's shoes, I'm sure you'll agree.

[TSSDNCOP]

Why don't you walk down the platform? If you did that you wouldn't have to clamber over luggage.

[lottiegarbanzo]

On reflection what really irks me about your post is nothing to do with your pregnancy. It is that your response of first resort, should you decide to make a case for staying is first would be to 'throw up your hands and make a scene'. Why not try asking nicely, appealing to the conductor's better nature, or reasoning with her calmly and pleasantly?

Making a scene aka throwing a tantrum is toddler's, or a very manipulative adult's, way of trying to get what you want; deeply undignified and embarrassing all round.

[Avondale]

I never knew you could get a special pass for being pregnant! Wow! I got tearful once at 38 weeks when had to stand for an hour on train home but I was over it five minutes after getting off the train. Think you need to get a grip love