to make a scene on the train

[photographerlady]

I didn't but AIBU to just throw my hands up and really just make a scene next time. I commute over an hour to London on the train. In my third trimester of pregnancy I applied for upgrade for Mums to Be on southwest trains. Have the pass now to sit in first class if the train is full.

The past month I've sat in first class. I am slower now and especially after work when huffing my way to catch the train after quitting time I get on with only 5 minutes to spare. About five coaches down its first class (ten coach train) and its rammed so I get on and sit in FC as those first five coaches have no seats.

Today the ticket checker came to our carriage when we was moving she checked my pass and said that there were seats on this train I have to leave first class. I was more shocked but then she preceded to tell me that she could revoke my pass and I have to move now. So at 33 weeks I walked down two carriages on the moving train til I found a seat.

Now I am working til 35/36 weeks but after thinking about today AIBU to just say "No" next time that I am not moving and take it from there. I mean they can remove me from the train or say I am causing a scene but tbh I feel as though its not worth the strain and cramps in my stomach to hustle down the platform or weave through carriages to make sure all seats are taken before I go back to the pretty empty first class section.

[Sirzy]

She looked through half of the train before giving up. She should have checked there were no seats first, she has said she knows the front half is always full so why not head straight to the back? It seems obvious she just wanted a FC seat

[FamiliesShareGerms]

Just thought: I worked and commuted all the way through my pregnancy, right up until my baby decided to come (with no warning) at 34 weeks. I like to think that my waters going on - and making a right mess of - one of the seats on SW Trains was a little bit of karma for all the cancellations, overcrowded trains and price hikes I endured...

[MidniteScribbler]

I don't care where the OP sits, but I suspect that the clue to why this issue even occurred is in the thread title. OP wants to create a scene. I'm betting that if the guard questioned her about her ticket, and she quietly said "I checked and couldn't see a seat, and things are getting pretty difficult with walking on the moving train" that it would have been the end of the issue. Instead, she wanted her scene, was rude, and the guard put her foot down.

Not everything needs a scene, and to expect to have one actually does a huge disservice to pregnant women. Huffing and puffing and shoving a belly in the face of someone or dropping hints or doing the whole "I'm special, I'm gestating here" scene is not the way to go about getting things to work in your favour, or making things better for other pregnant women. A bit of politeness goes a long long way. Pregnancy is difficult for some women, and less so for others, but acting like you're the only person who has ever carried a child is only going to get people's backs up. And let's face it, who among us hasn't been determined not to give ground when someone is acting like a twerp?

[burberryqueen]

fgs does it matter, it is not as though she was depriving anyone of a seat.

[FamiliesShareGerms]

Do you lot know how long a peak hour commuter train is and how it's nigh on impossible walk the whole length of the train before it departs (even if you get on at the start of the journey) and then walk back up the platform - against the flow of people - to get to the middle of the train again?

[diddl]

I meant only sit in FC if SC full.

I also agree with getting the ticket inspector to go with her.

Shame the carriages don't show the number of empty seats!

[TartinaTiara]

What MidniteScribber said. Also, all the remarks about the ticket collector are a bit nasty - jobsworth, cow, dried up barren vessel insanely jealous of OP in her fecund glory (am wildly paraphrasing here, but jealous of OP's pregnancy has been mentioned by at least a couple of the more mouth-foaming posters).

FFS the woman was doing her job, OP sounds like a bit of a precious princess even from her own, very biased, account. I don't (thank all that's holy) have to deal with pissed off commuters on a daily basis other than being part of the mass of pissed off commuters but by the sound of it, ticket collector said there were seats in SC and said that the pass could be revoked. Now, how likely is it that she went straight to pass being revoked? How much more likely that she said SC seats are available, OP went all precious, ticket collector then got a bit pissed off and said "T&Cs, pass can be withdrawn if you don't want to abide by them". God, if none of you would have done the same, you're all fucking saints.

And OP, yes, YWBMassivelyU to be chucking your toys out of the pram about this. If you're going to be pulling a tantrum about being asked to move seats on the train, christ help us all if you're ever faced with a real problem.

[Binkybix]

I do certainly know what a peak hour commuter train is like, thanks. I still think OP is being a bit unreasonable. It might make better sense to walk along platform to the carriages furthest from the station first.

[Saski]

I can't believe this thread is still going.

Well said Tartina.

And first class should be abolished? Why? Doesn't it make sense that the operator sets aside a small section and charge more for them for those willing to pay 2 or 3x standard fare (no idea how much it is) for a guaranteed seat, thereby allowing them to make more money and expand it's services?

Certainly the trains have a lot of problems in this country, but preventing them from making money is not going to help anything. Maybe, as was said upstream - maybe they've got the ratio of first to standard wrong, who knows. But there will always be people who wouldn't blink at the prospect of paying 4x standard fare for quiet & a guaranteed seat.

[Unami]

No, I don't think it does make sense for an area of the train to be reserved, and 80% empty at peak times. Train companies should be focused on providing an excellent service for all their customers at a reasonable price. They're not some benevolent victorian charity.

It's baffling that train companies are continually allowed to sell tickets without guaranteeing seats. I agree that train companies have a lot of problems, but generating profits does not seem to be one of them!

[fedupofnamechanging]

Those of you who are suggesting the OP asks someone to give up their seat, would you be happy to stand for your journey when she could sit in first class and not inconvenience anyone? I would happily stand for a of woman if there were no seats on the train, but not just because some jobsworth was being arsey.

The only time she should be asked to leave first class is if first class is heaving and there are no seats for paying customers, but there are seats available in cattle standard class.

[gummybear13]

You are pregnant, not ill. Why should you get special treatment for being pregnant???

[fedupofnamechanging]

Why not gummy bear? Some people feel like shite while pg. Extra consideration for those who feel like shite ( for whatever) reason, would make the world a nicer place.

[Guide26]

You are being unreasonable, the ticket has limitations, one of them being if the train is full then you are allowed to use first class, the train wasnt full so you should of sat in a normal seat, if you're struggling so much you need to discuss with your boss about leaving work earlier or getting a later train home so its not such a rush.

[Floggingmolly]

Why should extra consideration extend to allowing pregnant women a seat in 1st class when there are 2nd class seats available?
She wasn't asked to stand, drag someone else out of their seat, or sit in the luggage rack.
She was simply expected to use the vacant seats in 2nd class, because she had paid for a 2nd class ticket.

[Unami]

Again, she'd looked through 50% of a busy train and made a reasonable decision to stop in first class. Going through the rest of the train, to the very end, to look for a seat is over the top, and then, if there was no seat available, would involve her then turning back and trying to get past all the other people going to the end of the train. So, she'd probably end up stuck standing at the end of the train until the isle was clear enough to get back up to first class. Not very practical, and not inkeeping with the the spirit of the pass in the first place.

[Alligatorpie]

I can't believe this thread is still going.

Op admits for 4 weeks she has been going to FC as the first five trains are full - (without checking the less busy part of the train.) Inspector tells her some seats are empty and as per the T&C, she is expected to move. Her upgrade is valid only when SC is full. it was not. Op decides she wants to throw a tantrum because she likes FC but doesn't want to pay.

How is this considered reasonable? FFS.

[ChasedByBees]

FFS only read first 200 pages but the amount of snark is making me cross.

Of course YANBU. Those that are saying you are perhaps haven't been on a train in rush hour. It's not easy (or sometimes even possible) to walk down the length of a train carriage. If people are standing, you have to squeeze past them and their bags. I've had to abandon my reserved seat in a far carriage on occasion because I simply can't reach it, this is when not pregnant.

For those saying 'ask someone to move when there are no seats' why should she when this scheme allows her to sit in first carriage if there are no seats? Why make the ordinary carriage more crowded when actually, she is entitled to a seat in FC? (And I mean properly entitled - she has a pass and everything, not the ridiculous MN version of the word).

I had the same OP. I was on a train that I simply couldn't move through so I sat in FC. The jobsworth conductor told me there were spaces 4 carriages down and I told her it simply wasn't possible for me to reach them. I stayed where I was. although got massively glared at by her when her nice colleague gave me a complimentary orange juice. Take that entitled fans!

[Unami]

It's just really picky and petty to say that her use of the pass was unfair and unreasonable. It's insisting she follow the letter and not the spirit of the law.

[ChasedByBees]

Oh and someone said they were still driving the day they have birth as if to prove how capable they were. I drove myself to hospital when my waters broke but there's no way I could walk down a packed carriage. Totally different thing so drop the smugathon.

[crashdoll]

"Those that are saying you are perhaps haven't been on a train in rush hour."

Quite the contrary. Not sure why you'd assume we have no idea but whatever. I've never seen a person in genuine need of a seat in a 2nd class carriage ever be denied.

OP would be hugely unreasonable to make a scene, that just screams the MN version of entitled to me. If I were the FCC ticket inspector, I would not have asked her to move but OP is not within her rights to sit wherever she wants. IMO, it sounded like she just preferred first class because it was less hassle which is understandable when 33 wks pregnant but I can also see the ticket inspector's POV.

[ChasedByBees]

I assume that because people are suggesting she moves down several carriages when it's sometimes physically impossible for even those that aren't pregnant.

[Floggingmolly]

The ticket inspector appears to have managed it...

[Binkybix]

It also appears that the OP managed it in the end, as well as the first 5 carriages.

As I suggested earlier, might be easier to walk down the platform to the end carriages, which are nearly always less full, in the first place.

[TinBox]

Why should she have to go to such lengths? You're talking about the difference between a completely full, and almost completely full train. You're talking about half a dozen seats on ten carriages. It's beyond anal to suggest that the use of the pass is unreasonable.