To report colleague for racism?

[Madamecastafiore]

I just think she is incredibly thick but am finding it harder and harder to deal with her little gems lately.

Yesterday TB and whooping cough are apparently at epidemic proportions because of foreigners coming into this country.

And

She quite happily says, although lowers her voice a little (WTF) that her husband refuses to eat garlic as he couldn't stand the thought of smelling like a Paki!!!

I am in an office with her and one other woman who occasionally has a rant about foreigners taking jobs but am just about at the end of my rope with it. Ate these people just thick or I don't know, how can they think this is right?

I nearly said I felt sorry for her being married to a racist wanker but in all other respects she is actually a nice lady.

I can't ignore this can I?

[mercibucket]

tb comment - sounds uncontroversial to me, why do you think it is not linked to migration?

paki comment, use of the actual word, is completely beyond the pale and needs challenging at the time and in person by you or whoever else hears it, as well as reporting imo

[mercibucket]

actually, i take that back, about the tb link to immigration, as i can well imagine how it was said, so was meant to be provocative. i cant believe you didnt challenge the racist use of the p word tho

[HoHoHoNoYouDont]

I'm with those who suggest you challenge her comments directly. I have done this many times myself and find it is the best way to deal with it. It's always stopped them in their tracks and they have never made similar comments again in my presence.

[quoteunquote]

The next time she opens her mouth and vile bigoted thoughts come out, just say loudly, " You real need to go on a race awareness course, do you want me to help you?"

Then calmly explain to her why, you think she does,

I expect in the structure of your employment you would be better getting someone senior to suggest it,

this is why I will never be able to work for organisations such as the one you do, as I do not have the ability to keep my mouth shut when anyone steps out of line,

I use to take on board other people options about my conduct in such situations and made various attempts over the years, to fit in with some conceived order of conduct , but to no avail, it doesn't work for me.

If someone is stupid enough to spout a vile ill thought out opinion, any where near me, I will re educate them, until either they completely demonstrate they have had a change of heart, or they decide to do one and never come into the same space as me,

I have zero tolerance for hateful people, I will not tolerate it anywhere near me, so I don't have the problem.

I run building sites, when we have other crews working along side, they get warned by my crew, and if anyone is silly enough to open their mouths with stupid remarks (sexist, racist , anything hateful) I will change their attitude or they go.

I am told that I am good to work for and my sites are fun and happy, if I hadn't decided many years ago, to not tolerate any shit, I would have had to wear a snorkel as I would be swimming in slurry.

If you don't want hateful bigoted comments, wallpapering your life, stop it dead, say, "NO" the next time she starts, and every time afterwards, followed by,

" You real need to go on a race awareness course, do you want me to help you?"

You wouldn't jump in a swimming pool for your daily swim with great big jobbies floating around, so why spend your day with shite thoughts floating around, this woman is not just polluting your mind and day, she is polluting our world, and raising hatred with ideas, she needs filtering until she has had all the crap washed out.

[kiwigirl42]

just tell her to keep her racist comments to herself. its unacceptable in this day and age. I'd also tell your manager that you've had this issue.
I've had an ongoing email 'argument' with my FIL about just this sort of thing, about TB/ Gypsies/ forriners and all that.

You MUST challenge racism at every turn - you might not change her way of thinking but at least you may stop her spouting it.

[HoHoHoNoYouDont]

You wouldn't jump in a swimming pool for your daily swim with great big jobbies floating around, so why spend your day with shite thoughts floating around, this woman is not just polluting your mind and day, she is polluting our world, and raising hatred with ideas, she needs filtering until she has had all the crap washed out.

I just love that!

[Lazyjaney]

The TB episode is largely true, the garlic one is her reporting what someone else said so you need much better examples or she will just counter that you are a nasty shit stirrer (and yes, she will know who it was).

I've never seen a behind-the-back reporting go well for the reporter so I wouldn't do it, I'd challenge directly.

[claig]

What is the law of three?
And does paganism not distinguish between a fool and a non-fool and does it not have a concept similar to the Christian one of "forgive them for they know not what they do" when a person is a fool as opposed to someone with knowing malicious intent?

[claig]

Exactly right, Lazyjaney. She is reporting what her husband feels and says, nit what she says. So to try and get her in trouble over that is wrong.

[claig]

And is it not malicious to report a fool for talking about what her husband said?

[lydiajones]

Next time she says something racist be ready with a comment like, 'please can you not say things like that as it offends me'. Then just change the subject.

[giantpenguinmonster]

OP- I think it's really hard to challenge these things as they usually happen very quickly and it's easy to think about what you should have said/done after the fact.

But nice people don't say that kind of thing and she MUST know it's not acceptable really. I think you need to do something and it is a hard call what.

Good luck though. I'm from a mixed family and this kind of thing annoys and upsets me. Fight the good fight!

[nellieellie]

I think that when someone makes a racist comment in front of white people, they assume they can get away with it because you are white, which is really insulting. I think it is really incumbent of everyone to challenge racism at the time so that the person is aware of how offensive it is. You don't have to be aggressive or nasty, just say something like "I find that really offensive, please don't make remarks like that". If it persists, then complain to a line manager. As she keeps making these remarks, of course you could just complain, but I think it is important for individuals to stand up to this behaviour too.

[claig]

"ever mind the rule of three, lest what ye give out come back to thee"

yes, I agree with that, which is why I would not report people behind their back for saying stupid things.

You reap what you sow, and there is a danger that we end up in a society similar to a socialist Stasi one where schoolchildren of 6 tell the teacher that their dad said such and such at home, only to receive a visit from the Stasi with the offer a retraining program.

That is what happens in the short term, but due to the "law of three" or karma, that may eventually be replaced by something much worse.

[claig]

Out of interest, where does the "three" come into this rule. Is it only to rhyme with "thee"?

It is a good rule and similar to the Christian one of "do unto others what you would have done unto thee"

[slug]

You could always adapt the Mumsnet line:

"Did you mean to sound so racist?"

[Pigsmummy]

The comments about TB are actually not racist (as confirmed by the WHO and GP) but the garlic comment is offensive. I would initially say something to her rather than report this. If this continues and you report this what are you expecting your company to do?

[PearlyWhites]

Garlic comment is very wrong but she may well be right about the tb

[lottieandmia]

I would report her. I wouldn't want her offensive behaviour forced on me while I was trying to work.

[Birdsgottafly]

To add to what has been said, the TB comment isn't racist, it is a statement, backed up by some professionals/reaserch etc. I was told this by one of my consultants when i had TB, that this is the cause of some types/strains of diseases that is being seen again.

Unless she says that a certain group is inferior or should receive inferior services, then the statement isn't racist.

The use of the word "paki" is offensive and has no place in the workplace and the specific statement of "not wanting to smell like one" is hate speech, so breaks the diversity/equality rules of all workplaces.

[claig]

Thanks, Kansas, that is interesting, I didn't know that

[FesterAddams]

I think after reading posts I will ask to speak in confidence off the record to our equality and diversity guy

If you speak to this guy (or anyone else in HR or management) then please be aware that they can't offer you confidentiality. Their duty is to your employer, /IG BH,ymiu -mmuu