To report colleague for racism?

[Madamecastafiore]

I just think she is incredibly thick but am finding it harder and harder to deal with her little gems lately.

Yesterday TB and whooping cough are apparently at epidemic proportions because of foreigners coming into this country.

And

She quite happily says, although lowers her voice a little (WTF) that her husband refuses to eat garlic as he couldn't stand the thought of smelling like a Paki!!!

I am in an office with her and one other woman who occasionally has a rant about foreigners taking jobs but am just about at the end of my rope with it. Ate these people just thick or I don't know, how can they think this is right?

I nearly said I felt sorry for her being married to a racist wanker but in all other respects she is actually a nice lady.

I can't ignore this can I?

bloody phone.

If you speak to this guy (or anyone else in HR or management) then please be aware that they can't offer you confidentiality. Their duty is to your employer, not to you, so if you make them aware of a situation - such as harrasment or racism - that could expose the employer to legal liability then they pretty much have to act.

The "my husband says" excuse is pretty thin. If she doesn't agree with him, why doesn't she say so? And what exactly is the motive in her repeating her husband's dicta?

It's about as convincing as the attempts of some posters on the Islamophobia thread trying to hide behind "oh well, lots of people think".

Just to clarify:

My husband says this and he's a total wanker- not racist.

My husband says this and I am divorcing him next week- not racist.

I think this- racist.

Well, my husband thinks- cowardly racist.

'If she doesn't agree with him, why doesn't she say so?'

She didn't say she agrees with him, did she?

No but if my DH shared racist views with me I'd be ashamed, not sharing them in the office gossip

We have posters on here telling us what their BIL or stepfather says etc
Just because they say it, doesn't mean the poster reporting it agrees with it.

It's normally entitled "AIBU to think my BIL is a wanker?" though

"No but if my DH shared racist views with me I'd be ashamed, not sharing them in the office gossip"

So would I. But everyone is different.
Maybe she is in fact divorcing him next week. We don't know from what we have been told.

Vintage Cake is right. If someone makes a bigoted comment and is met with silence, they generally take this as a sign of approval. Doing nothing is actually very much doing something in cases like this.

Not all employees feel safe or comfortable confronting colleagues when they violate company policies. This applies whether it's a health and safety violation, breaching confidentiality or data protection policies or acting against the Equality and Diversity policy. Policies are there to ensure legal compliance and protect people from harm, so failing to uphold them is a serious matter.

The the person confronted can become defensive or difficult and can resort to bullying. All staff will be aware of the policies as well as the sanction for violating them. So, if you don't feel comfortable speaking directly to this person, definitely talk to your manager, someone in HR or similar.

Often folks will hide behind other people when they actually believe something, but don't have the cajones to say so. It will be, "this woman in the hairdressers said such and such," or "that guy of the telly said so and so." If they genuinely don't agree with things like this, they can either not repeat them parrot fashion or tell the story and state that they disagree. I don't accept this, "My husband is like this," baloney here. Even if her husband is a bigot, she isn't entitled to contribute to a climate of bigotry and exclusion in her workplace by telling everyone about it.

Claig is right.

This sneaky, reporting-behind-people's-backs culture will not end well.

Irregardless of karma and the like at the end of the day this individual is making this type of comment in her workplace, a professional environment. I have zero tolerance for any employee who makes derogatory comments about race, religion, gender, sexual preference etc because allowing it to go unchallenged could result in problems for my company when these idiots slip up and make comments in front of my clients. People are entitled to their opinions, however bigoted, but they should not feel able to express such views in a professional environment, and if found to be doing so, should be reported to their superiors.

I find it incredibly hard to believe that your colleague has never been challenged about her comments, and, guided by my own unfortunate experience don't believe that a 'quiet word' will change her views more than a formal reprimand. She may be less reluctant to share them with you, but no doubt she will soon find someone else.
Also, her comments may seem tame now, but until she is challenged she will continue to push boundaries and I'm sure you'll find, as a result that her comments will become much worse as she has no one to reign her in.

If this was a male making derogatory comments about females no one would be suggesting you tackle this yourself. My advice would be to consult hr and ask for their assistance in dealing with the situation

I think FesterAdams made a very good post, and this is why I would not report it. I think the consequences for her might be grave and that could affect her whole family. I couldn't live with that on my conscience for a stupid thing that she said in an off the cuff remark.

"If you speak to this guy (or anyone else in HR or management) then please be aware that they can't offer you confidentiality. Their duty is to your employer, not to you, so if you make them aware of a situation - such as harrasment or racism - that could expose the employer to legal liability then they pretty much have to act."

Much better to let her know you are not happy with those types of remarks in a friendly but firm non-confrontational manner. Give her a chance before you snitch on her.

But claig, could you live with your conscience if this person felt emboldened by the tolerance of her bigoted remarks, continued to express these, contributing to a workplace climate where say minority ethnic or non Christian staff felt unwelcome, unvalued, undermined or threatened? What if as a result they felt stressed, unable to perform, felt they had to leave or lost their jobs due to under performance or ill-health? Does the impact of this person's words and behaviour on others in the team not matter?

If let's say she's in a controlling relationship and feels pressed to endorse her husband's bigoted remarks. If the matter is taken to management, she would have the opportunity to explain this and gain support perhaps to leave that relationship.

Using words like "snitch" and "grass" sounds more like children in a playground rather than an adult working environment, where individuals have a responsibility to carry out their jobs within the organisation's policies and procedures.

I manage staff and I would be extremely disappointed if I found out that something like this was going on, but other staff felt it was better to either ignore or handle it softly themselves rather than work within company policy for fear of getting labelled a "snitch." Geez.

"continued to express these, contributing to a workplace climate where say minority ethnic or non Christian staff felt unwelcome, unvalued, undermined or threatened?"

I doubt that she would do that, but if she did, then she should be disciplined for it.

"Using words like "snitch" and "grass" sounds more like children in a playground rather than an adult working environment"

I am sorry but I think that things said in confidence to you, even if stupid or offensive, should not be held against a person. I remember at primary school, we had a song "tale tale tit ...." and I have never forgotten it. I wouldn't tell on someone over something said off the cuff.

"I manage staff and I would be extremely disappointed if I found out that something like this was going on, but other staff felt it was better to either ignore or handle it softly themselves rather than work within company policy for fear of getting labelled a "snitch." Geez."

Well that is where we are different. I don't like dropping people in it over things said in confidence however stupid or offensive. I understand that people say and do stupid things and I am prepared to give them a chance.

Not doing so will backfire very badly one day. If you frighten people and persecute them for making mistakes then one day by the law of karma, things may turn around 180 degrees.

One reason for the rise of UKIP is that many people feel that they are not free to express their opinions and may lose their jobs even over silly things they may say. I listened to the MPs debate the other day and an MP said that his constituents told him that he was able to say things that they were afraid to say. The problem with that is that it builds up a silent resentment and has the danger of one day reversing totally by the law of karma, in my opinion.

I don't believe in draconian consequences, draconian dsicipline or people being sacked over silly things they may say. I believe in giving people a chance, by telling them that they should not say those things and letting them change.

In fact there are some managers who do not like people who tell on other members of staff either. The reason is that if they are prepared to do that, what else are they prepared to do and about whom else will they tell. Some managers would feel that these people could not be trusted with other confidences too.

I believe in the old maxim "if you can't say something good about someone, then say nothing". "Don't speak ill of other people", because I do believe that karma exists and you should only "do unto others what you would have done unto you".

Sounds like she's just a bit thick. Don't report her. Some people don't know how offensive they are being and you might have a better chance of opening her mind if you talk to her. People's opinions often become intrenched if they are given a dressing down.
Took me a long time to learn that.

Exactly right, Kittens, and the end result for the people who tell can end up being worse.

I can't keep my mouth shut when people do this, and there are a few in my office. Often they are just mindlessly parroting views they've heard/read thinking that everyone will agree, and do get embarrassed and shut up if confronted. I don't agree with worrying about the office atmosphere, that has already been poisoned by the person making the comment, and if it's ok for them to express an opinion it's ok for someone else to challenge it, and that might lead them to think twice about what they are saying.

claig - just out of interest - do you advocate confronting only people on the same level or below, or would you also confront a line manager rather than reporting them, so you don't have to confront them and fear repercussions?

Well actually she isn't entirely incorrect re immigration and TB because many people are coming to Britain from countries without anything like the innoculation programmes we have here.

But by the sounds it's more by luck than design that she's right about it. Because she does sound like an unpleasant racist. I'd be inclined to speak to her first and then if she contues,report her.

Honestly OP, I know you don't like what I'm saying, and you think I'm cynical, but I don't think you come too well out of this either. You have listened to these racist viewpoints without saying anything about it. Your colleague might well mistakenly think you condone her views or she has gained your confidence and her natural barriers of formality need not be adhered to.

Then, having listened to these remarks without objection, you want to "report her" (even the wording sounds like you want to get her into trouble because you could have described it as having a word about her with someone).

This despite you working in an office of only 3 - you, her, and another woman who makes equally innane gossipy comments about immigration. And you sat through all of this without objection - not one single word from you to indicate you were uncomfortable with it?

I want to add, I would complain about her on the basis of your objection to her comments, if necessary.

Theres just something a little abhorrent about sneaking off to complain about someone you have given the impression of listening to quite happily. It doesn't sound like this is such an intimidating set up that you would reasonably feel repressed from speaking out.

And of course, if you do complain, they'll know its you, if theres only the 3 of them. Which is another reason to have a word with her first.

"claig - just out of interest - do you advocate confronting only people on the same level or below, or would you also confront a line manager rather than reporting them, so you don't have to confront them and fear repercussions?"

WidowWadman, I don't believe in reporting anyone. I work with colleagues as a team, and I take people as they are - warts and all. I think it is management's job to know what type of people they are employing etc

It is not just white people who say nasty racist things about non-white people. Gossip and insults can also be made by non-white people about white people or by Eastern Europeans about English people or Welsh people about English people or African people about South Anerican people etc

I wouldn't report any of those people because people say stupid and offensive things and as long as they don't say them to the people that they are talking about, I don't think they should be reported.

As for confronting bosses. Yes I would not be afraid to confront a boss or fear recriminations because I would not confront them in a hostile or aggressive manner. I would simply say something like

"You shouldn't say that, it's not nice" in a friendly manner so that they would get the message without being offended which avoids getting their back up and reacting in a hostile manner.

Report. Yes absolutely.

If you feel that you can challenge directly, in a way that is likely to make a difference, then this is a good way to handle it. But it isn't easy to do, and you may benefit from some support in doing it.

So, report, get the support you need. You should not have to tolerate racist language or racially motivated discussions in your working environment.

Good luck.

I'd confront her. You don't have to be rude about it, but just let her know that she's in the wrong. You could even respond to her racist comments with a "hmm" accompanied by a disgusted face. That wouldn't cause an atmosphere. I hate it when people don't confront
racists and sit back and let them talk shit. What's there to be afraid of?

So your work colleague comes out with what she regards as a bit of harmless stirring, but you think it's unacceptable to talk this way, but instead of replying you go and report her to HR? Really?

1. She'll hate you/never speak to you again, and 2) she'll think you're telling tales & won't understand why you didn't speak to her about it instead of to HR.

I would think of some responses and have them ready for when she comes out with this stuff again. I've had to do it with my mother - "I know you're used to saying that word, but these days it's not on, it's not acceptable to call people that" kind of thing. Re the garlic - "I love garlic."

So my advice is to 'be prepared'!

I had a work colleague once who complained about me to the boss. I was flabbergasted as I'd had no idea there was a problem (it was about me not doing stuff that she thought was part of my job). I was very hurt that she had gone to him instead of mentioning it to me.